


Pinned Butterfly

by Lucicelo



Category: Junjou Romantica
Genre: Affection, Cabin, Drugs, Dubious Consent, Friendship, Horror, Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapping, Kissing, M/M, Masturbation, Obsession, Recovery, Rejection, Rescue, Stalking, Suicidal Thoughts, Survival, Suspense, Unrequited Love, injuries, turned explicit after chapter 13, tutor - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-06
Updated: 2018-03-01
Packaged: 2018-04-30 06:39:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 17
Words: 57,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5153966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lucicelo/pseuds/Lucicelo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Despite his reservations, Hiroki let himself take in a new student. A young man with bright blue eyes and a smile which brightened up the room. Intelligent and kind. The moment he agreed, he had no way of knowing of the repercussions of his actions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pinkphoenix](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkphoenix/gifts).



> Pinned Butterfly used to be a collab fic between me and Teabags (PinkPhoenix). I talked to her about me revamping this concept into a new fic since I got inspiration to work on it again. I have most of what I wrote on my blog which I will rewrite with my current writing style. Her parts I will have to rewrite from what I remember but it won't be exactly the same. I remember the trail we were going for with this fic and this will be a gift fic for her. Hopefully, this meets her expectations.

"Please, tutor me, Kamijou-san."

Hiroki stood flabbergasted at his new acquaintance's declaration. His fierce blue eyes peering down at his own with determination clear on his face. Wanting him as his tutor for his schooling. He almost answered, no, but stopped himself when he saw his genuine smile. Nowaki Kusama seemed sincere in learning everything he offered through his own knowledge. His university must had sparked an interest. Although, Nowaki had no idea on the work ethic he held under his belt.

He might run Nowaki off after one session. Flashbacks of old students brought out his annoyance. Plenty of his old students complained to their parents on his overzealous studying habits. Those teens assumed he would do all their work for them without complaint. Shoving their work in his hands and slacking off with a game or reading manga. Hiroki explained to their parents why he quit on them. Satisfaction filled him when they lectured their child over wasting his time. Forcing the kid to apologize before he left them.

Not that he needed the money from these sessions. His parents provided enough every month for him to live on. After paying his costs for the month, he worried about nothing. He had enough money for train tickets and groceries. He just worried over the deadlines for his assignments.

This made him selective on who he agreed on bringing into his study circle. Few people managed to keep up with him. His meter of patience went down after they missed vital study sessions. He deleted them off his phone and continued on his own path. His own studies took priority over everybody else.

They never called him back with an excuse. Ungrateful.

Hiroki arched brow in speculation, he inquired. "Why?"

Nowaki listed off anything from the top of his head. "I never had a chance of graduating from high school due to my circumstances. There are no excuses but I want to get back on completing my education. Despite my part time jobs, I  _will_  make time to study with you. Please, give me a chance. I promise I won't fail you."

The desire in seeing the man in front of him again fueled Nowaki's insistence. He knew after this encounter, he wouldn't see Hiroki again. This new person that brightened his day. Despite the party he organized for his friend, a long week of work dampened his spirits. His smile, faked throughout the day. He didn't want his friends to ask questions and sour the good mood.

Hiroki Kamijou brought out new emotions inside of his chest. A flame he thought went out through the hardships in his life. The butterflies fluttering in his stomach and his heart sped up. Emotions his co-workers described whenever they garnered feelings for someone new. The sensations he secretly yearned for whenever he watched couples out on the town.

He watched Hiroki contemplate in agreeing with this new deal. Hiroki showed his thinking process through his face. From the hesitation until he settled on resignation. It showed in his body language as well. Nowaki bit the inside of his cheek. He couldn't think of victory until Hiroki said it out loud.

Pushing back his bangs from his eyes, Hiroki responded. "Fine. I'll tutor you. Just know that it's what we're doing together. Nothing else. Got that?" He hoped he made the right choice.

Nowaki fiercely nodded his head. "Yes." He took out a mini notepad from his pocket, asking with the biggest grin. "I'm going to need your phone number." Hiroki furrowed his eyebrows. "I left my phone back home, I'll call you in the afternoon."

* * *

Throughout the first week of tutoring, Nowaki sneaked peeks at his new tutor. His short brown locks, warm brown eyes, gorgeous face, and nimble body. His concentration wandered whenever Hiroki explained a new section on his booklet. The husky voice made him lick and bite his lower lip. He wanted nothing more than to hear Hiroki talk to him over and over again. At times, he watched Hiroki nibbling on his pens. A spark went through him when his eyes lingered on him. His infatuation leaked through these private moments but he hid it well. Hiroki realized nothing amiss as he read through more textbooks.

He forced himself to stop staring at Hiroki to work on his assignments. After all, Hiroki expected the best out of him. His long lecture on the first day stuck in his mind. He explained how any misstep on his part meant he wouldn't teach him anymore. Hiroki had his own studies to focus on. No use wasting time on someone fickle who abandoned him when it got rough. Hiroki repeated this constantly on the first week.

Nowaki appreciated Hiroki's dedication on teaching him. The booklets and mock tests he prepared with care. Effort in booking time in between his part time jobs. He saw him reading through old textbooks from high school in order to gather more information to help him. At the same time, Hiroki's own text books laid open in front of him. Through these lessons, Hiroki kept on top of his school work with ease.

Showing failure wasn't an option.

Nowaki found the material easier than expected. This surprised him when he studied the booklets during his lunch breaks. After years out of school, he assumed headaches of confusion. Pulling at his hair and running himself ragged trying to understand the pages. The initial anxiety went down when he went through his homework in a flash. He toned it down in Hiroki's presence. He asked the man to tutor him in the first place.

Hiroki's tutoring skills resonated well with Nowaki. Strict in his ways but taught him easier note taking. Shortcuts to harder areas which helped him remember better. Hiroki took meticulous time explaining the steps in descriptive detail. Leaving no room for him to remain confused.

He used scrap paper to write down his problems before transferring them into the booklets. Neat and tidy. His handwriting went downhill after leaving middle school. After hearing it from fellow co-workers, this turned into an insecurity. Hiroki couldn't gaze at his usual chicken scratch. He wanted to impress him through his success and think of him as a future lover.

As he sat in Hiroki's apartment, he memories every detail. Remembering the rules Hiroki set for him whenever he walked inside with his messenger bag. He made sure not to mess up anything when he sat on one spot. Entering in other rooms was out of the question. Hiroki explained that his room remained a mess. Odd. Considering, his living room contained an over abundance of books which almost toppled due to the amount. Nowaki wondered if Hiroki hid something he couldn't find out. He pushed it out of his mind when Hiroki tapped his hand to gain his attention.

From the size of the apartment, it was bigger than his own place. A perfect size for Hiroki and his collection of books. His own was small for his height. He went to a communal bathroom down the block. A tiny kitchen which suited his needs. Cheap enough that he didn't starve himself after giving his payments to his landlord. In a way, he was embarrassed in showing Hiroki his apartment.

He insisted in going to Hiroki's apartment every single time they scheduled a study session.

Hiroki didn't mind. In fact, he insisted. He had all his materials in his home. From the amount of books he placed on the desk, carrying all those to Nowaki's apartment might turn into a burden.

Nowaki sighed in bliss. He couldn't had chosen a better tutor. It felt like destiny that he met Hiroki in the park that day.

Hiroki scowled as he pinched Nowaki's side. "Wake up, brat. You have to read this text and explain it to me."

Nowaki smiled, nodding in eagerness. "Of course, anything you want."

* * *

Nowaki whooped when he read the score on his first mock test. "Thank you so much! I didn't think I would get a perfect score on this one!" He placed the paper down on the desk and contained himself from pulling Hiroki into a tight hug.

Hiroki waved it off as he graded another one of Nowaki's tests. "You made the effort to get that score. This is good news in my opinion. I expected a harsher time in getting you to understand the problems. It seems science and math are your strong suits." He checked Nowaki's English test and narrowed his eyes. "Your score in English is impeccable. Are you sure you don't know any English?"

Nowaki shook his head. "Maybe I have a knack at picking up languages?" Nowaki leaned over the desk and read the test. "Although, I have had jobs where I worked in a tourist filled area. The boss made me learn English phrases throughout my employment to make my job easier. I have to say, those tourists know how to keep a conversation going. I taught them Japanese while at the same time they taught me English."

Hiroki pushed Nowaki back to his own side, demanding. "Alright then, tell me a phrase in English. I don't care what it is, just tell me something."

"Why?"

"Just to prove that you speak it. You have used it often right?" Hiroki drawled as he checked off another correct answer. "Well? Go on. I don't have all day. Unless, you are trying to show off or some shit."

 _"Thank you so much for tutoring me. You are an amazing man and I hope to make you proud one day."_  Nowaki told him.

Hiroki scoffed. "I understood none of that."

"You didn't?" Nowaki's eyes widened in shock, he thought the amazing person in front of him knew the language. " I thought that you..."

Hiroki twirled his pen around and snapped. "Don't look at me like that. I know some words but even then my pronunciation is horrible." He nibbled on his pen when he checked the English booklet. "My grades in English were low which surprised the rest of my teachers in high school. My friend helped me through the main tests so I can read it well but everything else is shit."

"Oh..." Nowaki collected every single one of his tests in a pile. "You don't mind if I take these home with me right?"

Hiroki shrugged his shoulders. "If you want, you need all the information to absorb. You can't stop studying the old ones just because I taught you something new. It's up to you if you want to take them with you. It's better to review everything than to find it in the test and get it wrong."

Nowaki placed his tests inside of a folder and an idea popped into his mind. "I will keep on studying. Um..do you want me to make something to eat? Just something small for a well deserved break."

"Make sure to clean everything when you're finished."

"Alright." Nowaki stood up. "Do you have any suggestions?"

Hiroki answered. "Whatever you can make from my stuff in the fridge. I don't have much."

Chuckling, Nowaki walked toward the kitchen. "Then, I will get a light meal."

* * *

Hiroki noticed Nowaki came into their study session in a foul mood.

Nowaki walked inside, subdued, gave him a sub par greeting. Hiroki watched him as Nowaki set his bag right beside his usual spot and went to work. His booklets placed in the right alignment while he started writing. When Hiroki placed a water bottle right in front of Nowaki, he didn't stop to take it. In fact, he continued on reading his booklet and writing in his notebook. Ignoring his gesture and keeping the marring frown on his face.

Hiroki was used to Nowaki's talkative nonsense that this newer quiet man turned almost disturbing. When he asked him questions, Nowaki answered in a soulless voice. He gave no follow up questions and went back to staring down at the table.

He coughed into his hand when he asked. "Nowaki, are you alright?" No answer. This ticked Hiroki off as his eyebrows furrowed.

Frowning, Hiroki wrote down another 100% score for Nowaki's homework. A small packet which contained everything Nowaki needed to know in his exam. His student sat across from him. He raised his gaze, noticing Nowaki stared right at him. It was obvious his mind was somewhere else. He stopped writing anything in his notebooks. Giving him the most intense stare Hiroki experienced. Almost ready to snap at him, he handed the corrected papers to Nowaki. Placing his attention on checking more of the material before they resumed.

With no brightness in Nowaki's eyes, he collected the sheets and stared down at them. On the last packet he received, Nowaki burst with happiness. He praised Hiroki as an excellent tutor and pulled him into a hug. Invading the older man's space and tightened his grip. He had no such reaction on that day.

Hiroki repeated his question. "Nowaki, answer me when I am talking to you."

Nowaki met his gaze, giving him a placating smile when he responded. "I'm alright. Just a little tired from my earlier job that's all."

Hiroki noticed the lack of energy from Nowaki's voice alone. He knew well of all those part time jobs. Nowaki wrote down every single schedule from those jobs. Planning these study sessions in the right time so Nowaki had time to rest. Never having worked in his whole life, the amount boggled Hiroki's mind. Nowaki always seemed upbeat and energetic whenever he came to see him.

This change unnerved him.

He assumed something else happened with Nowaki. "I don't believe you." He placed his pen down on the table. "

Nowaki's body went rigid. His face stayed composed as he shoved his hand inside of his pocket. Gripping a small object he discreetly took from Hiroki's apartment. Minuscule that Hiroki wouldn't question the location when it went missing. Their tutoring sessions almost came to the end. His exams in the horizon, bringing his overall mood down. He was positive he wouldn't see Hiroki again.

Hiroki stated. "Listen here, if you don't want to be here, just tell me. You might be concentrating but your mind is somewhere else."

"N-No, I'm  _fine_." Nowaki insisted. "I can stay here."

_RING RING._

Hiroki grumbled as he stood up. His annoyance clear on his face on the interruption. He went to the door in a flash, leaving Nowaki alone in the living room.

The young man grew curious about the visitor when Hiroki didn't come back fast. He got up and walked toward the hallway leading to the front door. His eyes widened when he saw an unfamiliar face shuffling Hiroki's hair to the side. Hiroki sported the warmest smile as he slapped the guy on the shoulder. Nowaki felt a heaviness in the bottom of his stomach.

Hiroki arched a brow. "You shouldn't have come here Akihiko. I would had come to your place in person."

Akihiko leaned against the door with a smirk. "You took your sweet time. Did you oversleep again looking after my work?"

Hiroki chuckled. "I have other things to do than to babysit your story. In fact, you should consider yourself lucky." He grabbed the manila envelope from the shoe cabinet. "I managed to finish it on time. Be grateful."

Nowaki gulped. He gripped the side of the wall when the guy placed another hand on Hiroki. Shuffling closer, he made sure he was still out of view. Straining his ear in an attempt to catch their conversation.

"I always am." Akihiko noticed a different pair of shoes. "Ah, you actually have someone visiting you? I didn't know you had any other friends."

"He's just a guy I'm tutoring." Hiroki explained.

"I thought you stopped the whole tutoring thing. The last kid from high school made you quit. You don't even go to study sessions with people in your own classes."

Hiroki rolled his eyes. "That brat from high school was a moron. This one is actually learning something."

Nowaki felt a sharp pain digging into his chest. He didn't know Hiroki thought of him as simply a student. The desire in a different relationship seemed one-sided. Determination filled him as he went quietly went back to his seat. Writing more of his notes to fill in the empty spaces. He wrote in complete silence.

Hiroki returned back to his seat and sat down.

Nowaki asked him. "Who was that?"

Hiroki regarded in high esteem. "A friend of mine."

Nowaki gripped his pen tight. Turning his eyes to his booklet on the table. Disappointment etched on his face. Although he was safe from questioning, Hiroki's attention went to someone else. He tried not to assume Hiroki's relationship with the man at the door was something deeper. After all, Hiroki called him a friend. Nothing more and nothing less. He still had a chance to win him over.

Blissfully ignorant, Hiroki wrote down more questions for Nowaki to answer. His attitude lifted after seeing a familiar face. He failed on realizing something crucial which changed his future.

His involvement in the middle of an  _obsession_.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Despite his reservations, Hiroki let himself take in a new student. A young man with bright blue eyes and a smile which brightened up the room. Intelligent and kind. The moment he agreed, he had no way of knowing of the repercussions of his actions.

Hiroki shuffled his books in a pile, finding that he finished his own work without fault. Right across from him, Nowaki kept on writing inside of his notebook in silence. He noticed the sun setting in the sky after he broke concentration. The once clear blue sky brought a mixture of orange, red, and purple which spanned throughout the sky. He hurried to turn on the lights of his living room and the kitchen. Bringing in light for them to see all throughout the room. Yawning out loud, he shut the curtains closed before going inside the kitchen for a drink.

Nowaki kept his eyes on Hiroki when he moved around the room. Staying on variations of Hiroki's body before moving onto a different part. Lingering on areas of exposed skin when Hiroki's shirt lifted up. He saw Hiroki more than enough times during his visits. Yet, he couldn't stop staring at him. His fascination grew stronger with each visit to Hiroki's apartment. Keeping his love silent and using it as fuel for his studies.

His lackluster fantasies proved to pale in comparison to the real Hiroki.

Hiroki stretched up his arms above his head before he sat back down. Nowaki's eyes saw every inch of skin possible before Hiroki's shirt came back down, covering everything from his view. Causing him to pout as he hid his emotions behind his hand.

He counted his blessings in even sitting in Hiroki's living room. After all, he didn't pay him for his services. Hiroki denied any payment and smacked him with a stack of papers when he insisted. Stating that he needed to save the money for university. These tutoring sessions came from the wish to enter university. Hiroki wouldn't had bothered with him otherwise. He even got handed a stack of scholarship forms for him to apply.

Hiroki thought way ahead for his benefit. Going far beyond than what a regular tutor did for their pupil. This brought Nowaki into thinking Hiroki thought of him as something other than a student. Those thoughts came to a halt. His jaw clenched when he thought about the descriptors Hiroki used for him. The nonchalant manner he spoke about him. Nothing more than a student who learned something. No trouble and no fuss. He followed directions without complaint.

Elevating himself toward a higher status was his ticket on gaining Hiroki's love. Eventually, Hiroki's overall opinion on him would change into something favorable. This work he placed into his own studies and making himself presentable had to work.

Hiroki interrupted his thoughts when he coughed into his hand, "Isn't it about time you leave?"

"Eh?"

Hiroki pointed to the window, "It's dark outside. Don't you have to go to work tomorrow?"

Nowaki explained. "I do have work in the morning but I always wake up on time. I can spare another hour before I go back home to sleep. It's no problem." He gripped his pen hard. "Are you that eager to kick me out, Hiro-san?"

Hiroki furrowed his eyebrows. The nickname annoyed him a bit but he grew used to the nickname. Nowaki kept on insisting throughout their tutoring sessions. The guy passed his expectations so he let him call him this name. A small reward for his outstanding work.

"I'm not kicking you out. Last time, you ran out of here when you noticed the time on the wall." Hiroki gulped down some water and smacked his lips.

Nowaki dug his fingers into his palm with a laugh. "I guess I studied a little too hard on that particular day." He gulped when he inquired. "Who was your friend from the other day? The one that visited when I was here."

"My friend? Ah, Akihiko." Hiroki turned another page in his textbook. "He wanted me to edit his current novel before he handed it to his editor. I spot mistakes that are missed and he trusts me to handle his work. Good thing I finished it before he came to see me the other day. I love reading his stories, they never bore me."

"I see," Nowaki frowned. "Then, he isn't in university?"

Hiroki responded with evident satisfaction. "He's in law school and writes novels. I thought about the time and effort used to balance both. I couldn't do such a thing. Akihiko's amazing to do both at the same time."

Nowaki's jaw clenched in irritation. Akihiko seemed like a perfect fit for Hiroki. The man wrote stories that Hiroki enjoyed and loved to edit in between his own schoolwork. Hiroki's voice took on a softer tone when speaking about his so-called friend. Hiroki didn't do this when he talked to him. It turned into indifference half the time and it hurt. Stung. Twisting into his heart.

Nowaki tuned out Hiroki when he continued on explaining Akihiko's novels. He caught on best selling and Nowaki felt the hole grow even deeper in his chest. Hiroki's friend beat him through leaps and bounds.

"Listen, I'm leaving for a few days starting on Friday." Hiroki checked his cellphone and read another message from his father. "Don't bother coming to my place."

Nowaki grew alarmed at the news when he exclaimed. "Was it something I said or anything I did to offend you?"

Hiroki arched a brow at Nowaki's reaction. Sure, he expected Nowaki to panic over missing a day or two of studying. His close test day must had brought on some anxiety in memorizing everything. This reaction surprised him. Nowaki never shouted at him.

"Look Nowaki, I'm going to visit my parents. I got a call this morning and they would be upset if I cancelled on them. I'm just letting you know so you don't waste a trip and find an empty apartment." Hiroki motioned toward the front door. "You can leave whatever you have finished in my mailbox. I'll review it when I come back."

"Okay—thank you for telling me." Nowaki said in relief, he assumed Hiroki grew tired of him and wanted to place distance between the both of them. "I'll make sure I finished everything before you come back."

Hiroki nodded his head as he got up on his feet. "Alright." He looked at the time on his cell phone. "I have to go take a shower. Can you let yourself out?"

"Yes, Hiro-san."

"Good, I'll see you on Monday."

"Bye..."

While Hiroki hurried into his bathroom, Nowaki collected his notebooks and books inside of his messenger bag. Afterwards, he stood up and kneaded the knots he developed throughout his body. He heard the shower going inside of the bathroom, drowning any noise from where he stood.

Turning his gaze to the table, his hand itched to grab Hiroki's red pen. Hiroki nibbled on it throughout their tutoring session and he wanted to feel it it between his fingers. Without wasting time, he snatched the pen and shoved it inside of his bag.

Nowaki stared at the bathroom hallway before he went toward the entryway. Putting on his shoes, he smiled in delight and then left the apartment.

* * *

Hiroki stood at the threshold of his parents bedroom. Breath evening out after his slight sprint toward the familiar area. His hand gripped the overnight bag hard enough that his knuckles strained. He watched his mother brush her long brown curls. She sat in front of her vanity, humming a simple tune. From his observation, her physical appearance seemed normal. His father's phone call chilled him to the bone when he heard of his mother's hospital visit. Her ailing heart condition always worried him.

Taking a deep breath, he stepped inside. His mother turned her head toward his direction when she heard the creak. Her green eyes locked with his light brown pair. A smile on her face. She beckoned him to her side with a motion of her hand. The fact her skin glowed brought Hiroki some relief. He imagined a paler and tired version of Fuyumi Kamijou. A picture which dissipated when he saw her.

Fuyumi stretched out her arms. Hiroki fast walked into her embrace. Her rose scented perfume overwhelmed his senses. Tightening his grip on her smaller body, he placed his cheek on top of her head. He loved his mother. She was one of the most important people in the world to him.

He loved his father as well but her ailment had him appreciate her more.

She spoke to him in a soft voice. "My little butterfly, it's so great to see you the long face? Hmm?"

"Father called me. He told me you went to the hospital due to another collapse." Hiroki explained. "I hurried over after I finished my last class for the week."

Fuyumi rubbed his back, assuring him. "It was nothing too serious. I was released from the hospital the next day." She moved away from his embrace and used her hands to cup his cheeks. "Your father would had told you if it was worse. Besides, this visit serves as a good occasion. We both get to have you again back home. Months have passed since your last visit."

Hiroki nodded his head, leaning forward, he kissed her cheek. "University is taking a lot out of me. I promise I will try to visit more often or at least on some Sundays."

Placing her hands on his shoulders, she said. "I'll hold you up to that promise. I won't forget anytime soon. Don't break it."

For the first time since he arrived Hiroki laughed. "When have I ever broken a promise I made to you?"

She pondered before she responded with a lighthearted smile. "Never." Fuyumi took notice of the duffel bag Hiroki held. "You're staying over?"

"Yes. I might as well stay for the weekend. I already got a heads up for one of my classes getting canceled tomorrow. I don't need to leave immediately." Hiroki told her with a slight smile.

Fuyumi clasped her hands together when she exclaimed. "Wonderful! We can cook lunch together. How about having your favorite dish in the menu?"

"Sounds like a plan." Hiroki agreed with her as his father walked inside of the room, holding a tray full of food.

Soshi set it on the table next to the bed, catching the frown on Fuyumi's face. "Soshi, I told you I was well enough to walk through the manor on my own. I could have made it to the kitchen."

He walked to her side and pressed a kiss on her cheek. "It's an extra precaution. We will all eat in here so you won't stay in here by yourself." He smiled when her grin returned to her place. He turned to their son and addressed him. "Why don't we get our dinner, Hiroki?"

The grim undertone in his voice made Hiroki's stomach drop. Hiroki placed his bag on the floor before he followed his father when he exited the room.

Fuyumi yelled after them. "Hurry back!"

Out of earshot, Hiroki asked. "What's going on?" His father remained quiet. "Her heart is getting worse...isn't it?" Soshi nodded his head, Hiroki got closer to him. "But, she looks normal! She told me she felt perfectly fine."

Soshi patted Hiroki's shoulder, guiding him into his embrace.

"How long?" Hiroki clutched his father's dark red sweater with a quivering hand.

"It depends on her, son. She has gone through her whole life with his ailment. You knew of her sickness since you were a child." He sighed as he let go of Hiroki and walked on ahead. "Anything the doctors tell us shouldn't be much of a surprise." They made it closer to the kitchen and he stopped in front of the sliding door.

Hiroki hid his eyes underneath his bangs as he bit his bottom lip. "I can't help but worry about her."

"Your mother is enthusiastic on her recovery. We shouldn't make her fearful about it. If anything, she needs our love and support."

"I know." Hiroki rubbed his face before lifting his head. "We should hurry. She will wonder what is taking us so long."

Soshi informed Hiroki. "Are you staying tonight?"

"Yes. I brought a few extra set of clothes with me. Why?"

"There was a warning on the news about a storm for the night." Soshi opened the sliding door and turned on the light. "It might extend into the morning. Before you ask, we left your room intact so you can stay in there."

Hiroki sighed in relief. "Good."

* * *

Hiroki put the last piece of coffee cake onto his own plate, then shoved the empty plastic container inside his bag. With some time in between classes and his cleaning spree, he baked it. An old recipe from his mother that he knew she would appreciate him baking. The ecstatic smile on her face when he took out the Tupperware made the remake worth it. He threw out the other cake when he ate a piece and it tasted nothing like her cake. He realized he forgot an ingredient after he read the recipe again.

Soshi poured a brew of Ujiri tea into each individual cup. When he finished, he gave Hiroki and Fuyumi their own respective cups. After they thanked him, he sipped his tea as shiver went through him. An unattended window brought a chill throughout the manor. This late night tea and cake warmed them up well. An excuse to stay in each others company for a while longer. Despite the late hour, they wanted spent more time with each other.

Hiroki predicted on his parents commenting on his lack of a lover. Though, his parents teased him on this matter. Akihiko told him about his estranged mother's lectures whenever she returned from overseas to visit him. Her assumption on him having a girlfriend fell on deaf ears. Akihiko felt no need to impress the woman. He learned to dodge her whenever he got word that she stepped foot back in Japan.

Hiroki ate another bite of cake. He was astounded that his parents had not inserted the topic throughout their dinner conversation.

Fuyumi continued on eating her cake. She sampled her tea after she added a spoonful of sugar.

Soshi drank his tea in light consecutive slurps.

All of them jumped when thunder clapped outside. Rain poured harder onto the roof. The wind howled as it slammed onto the trees. The silence in the house amplified the storm growing stronger. Thinking on staying home ahead of time worked to Hiroki's advantage. At times, he left in the morning due to a morning class he needed to attend.

Hiroki rubbed his arms. He tried to chase away the coldness as he grew accustomed to the floor heaters. His father turned them on as he went to prepare their tea. Having taken a while to heat up well, Hiroki put on one of his thick cardigans.

"Wow." Fuyumi commented when she stared out the window. "The weather is getting worse with each passing minute. Good thing you're staying for the night Hiroki. You would've gotten caught in the middle of this storm."

Soshi refilled his cup. "There was a warning earlier in the news. This large scale is not too surprising."

Hiroki observed the room when he noticed a few balls of colored yarn. Bundled in the corner of the bed with a start of a dark sweater on top of the pillows. Guessing on the style, the dark sweater was for his father. His mother always made them sweaters or scarves for birthdays. He welcomed a new homemade sweater. The last one his mother gave him shrunk in the wash. It remained on a hanger in the back of his closet, not wanting to tell her that he ruined it. All her hard work was unwearable due to his mistake.

On their phone calls, he told her subtle hints to get a new sweater. From her playful tone, it meant that she knew about his mishap. He didn't have to tell her anything specific. When he received his new one, it would never get tossed in the washing machine. To prevent another laundry scandal, it would get hand washed every single time.

"Hiroki?"

Hiroki turned his focus on his parents wedding pictures. Smiles on their faces as they posed with their families. Next to that picture featured an image of them in traditional clothing. His mother sat down on a chair with his father placing a hand on her shoulder. Whenever he saw them together throughout his life, they retained the same loving glances.

He counted his blessings in having borne into a good family. Loving but strict in his upbringing. Teaching him valuable life lessons through the moments they shared together. Hence, bringing forth their close relationship into his adult life. Although, he forgot to call from time to time. Something, his parents still teased him about whenever he went back home. He still held them in high respect.

Witnessing their small spats and how they resolved their problems through communication. He thought on his own faults. Keeping his grievances bottled served to aggravate him even more. His  _love_  for Akihiko turned into strong admiration. The affection one felt for an older brother. One of the few people he told his secrets, knowing full well he kept them locked inside of his mind. He admitted his crush to Akihiko and explained it left him years ago. Akihiko shuffled his hair and smiled at him. No response. They fell into a comfortable silence afterwards.

Akihiko ruined the moment when he asked if he had a crush on Takahiro. Earning a good punch on the arm.

Soshi leaned over the table and shook Hiroki's shoulder. "Hiroki, are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just thinking about something."

"About what specifically?"

Fuyumi smiled. "Maybe, he is thinking about his lover. Is that it?"

"What the—No!" Hiroki denied, his face grew hot when he saw their amused expressions. "I have no remote time to spend time with someone new. I knew you two would ask me about this."

Soshis lips quirked up in a smirk. "Do what? We are both interested on how our only son is doing? You know better than to prepare yourself when we ask you anything. Now, do you still have mountains of books all over your apartment?"

Fuyumi added in. "Do Akihiko and Takahiro still visit you? Are they still friends with you?"

Hiroki groaned as he placed his chin on the palm of his hand. He addressed everything in order. "To reiterate, I have no boyfriend. I cleaned my apartment before I left the city. So, no, there are no mountains. Akihiko visited the other day. Takahiro called me yesterday. We are all still friends."

"Good to know," Soshi nodded his head. "Invite them along with you the next time you visit."

"That's a wonderful idea!" Fuyumi piped up as she held her cup in between her hands. "I'm certain a holiday is coming up and you three can come here. Although, if you can't make it then that's fine. You are all always busy and it's understandable."

Hiroki shrugged his shoulders. "I can try asking them when I get the chance. Considering, Akihiko doesn't go home for the holidays, he might take up on the offer. Takahiro does have his kid brother to take care of so he might not tag along." He poked at his coffee cake with his fork. "Although, he could always have him sleep over at a friends house. It's not like we ever leave the city."

An hour later, Hiroki informed his parents on going to bed. He held and kissed his mother, doing the same to his father before their room. Picking up his bag, he walked over to his old room. Reminiscing on the days when he ran through the halls of his childhood home. He touched the wall as he kept on going forward, fingers gliding with ease. After sleepless nights of wandering the manor, he remembered the layout.

He paused right in front of his old door and pushed it open. Everything remained the same, except for the lack of books and awards decorating the walls. He went inside and dropped his bag onto the floor before he laid on the bed. Not even caring that he left the door wide open for anyone to walk inside.

He knew his mother would wake him up in the morning. Favoring a gentle shake of the shoulder than banging on the door to jolt him awake. He sighed as he cuddled into his pillows and got under his sheets.

* * *

Through the noises of the storm, Nowaki walked through the empty hallway of the apartment complex. He left his bike outside and used a lock to keep it put. He ignored the sounds of his sloppy wet footsteps. No use when his shoes were waterlogged from the rain hitting him on the way there. Pushing back his hood, Nowaki moved his bangs from his forehead. The cold air hitting his body made him aware of his drenched clothes sticking to him in uncomfortable places. As he moved the strap of his messenger bag to his side, he hurried toward Hiroki's door.

His job released him two hours after his usual time. An annoyance but he endured as a favor to his manager. Once he finished, he realized the extent of the storm. Wetting him from head to toe as he biked through the streets. He covered his messenger bag with his body, attempting to keep his homework from getting soaked.

Using a spare napkin to wipe some excess water, he stuffed the papers through the slot. The imminent thump occurred on the other side of the door. Sighing, he checked the time on his water resistant watch. After a hard day of work, he wanted nothing more than to sleep. Good thing he acquired a whole day off. Although, he couldn't visit Hiroki in person until the weekday. Hiroki's visit to his parents put a damper to his plans in person.

Reaching out his hand, he moved the door knob. Unsurprisingly, it was locked but it didn't stop him from jigging it around. He snatched his hand back and held it to his chest. This wasn't like him. The urge was strong. He  _wanted_  to go in there.

This opportunity came once in a lifetime.

Tossing aside his reservations, he looked through his messenger bag. Finding some paper clips, he curved it around enough where he could work it inside of the lock. Digging in the paper clip into the hole, he moved it around. Listening close to the lock with his tongue sticking out his mouth. He maneuvered his makeshift key around and tried not to get frustrated. When it clicked, Nowaki turned the doorknob, surprised that it opened.

Standing at the entrance, he pushed the door completely open. Missing the scattered papers on the tile floor.. From the slight light coming from one of the windows, he saw some of the inside.

Gripping the strap of his messenger bag, he gulped in nervousness. Sneaking into Hiroki's apartment seemed ridiculous now that he managed to pick lock the door. After all, he visited Hiroki on Monday.

Just a few days away.

He couldn't wait that long.

He stepped inside of the apartment, closing the door behind him.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Despite his reservations, Hiroki let himself take in a new student. A young man with bright blue eyes and a smile which brightened up the room. Intelligent and kind. The moment he agreed, he had no way of knowing of the repercussions of his actions.

Nowaki observed Hiroki's apartment from his spot at the genkan.

Through his initial search from his spot, he almost thought he entered the wrong apartment. The spotless interior confused him. He smelled a strong lingering lemon cleaner. After having gone used to Hiroki's book collection littering every room, this cleanliness threw him off. When he caught familiar knickknacks and a stack of books on the shoe rack, he let out a sigh of relief. Filled with excitement, his heart sped up in his chest.

He broke into  _Hiroki's apartment_.

To his surprise, he felt no mortification.  _None._  Through picking the lock, his subconscious didn't surface to stop him in his tracks. A thrill went through him when he unlocked the door. His curiosity sprung forth in exploring the spaces Hiroki's prohibited him on entering. His warnings in sticking to certain areas didn't apply to him. This prompted him on taking a step inside, dodging the papers on the floor. Droplets of water fell onto the tile the longer he stood there. Creating a small puddle under his feet.

He kicked off his waterlogged shoes and his socks. No use wearing them when they made him uncomfortable. He fought the urge to take off his jacket and instead rolled up his sleeves up to his elbows. After all, he might forget about it through his inspection of the apartment. Hiroki couldn't find out about his little adventure. His jacket would turn into evidence against him.

Moving away from his scattered homework, he noticed his homework was slightly damp. He frowned at the wet spots which smeared the ink across the paper. Turning his careful penmanship ineligible. In his opinion, it turned ineligible. Hiroki somehow read through his rushed notes during their sessions. Throughout his bike ride to the apartment complex, he protected his messenger bag with his whole body. Covering it from the harsh storm hit him in each direction. It helped to some extent but he knew a good portion of it drenched with water.

He imagined Hiroki reprimanding him over the state of his homework. Clear disappointment in his voice and perfect face. This was a reaction Nowaki didn't want Hiroki to present to him. Too bad he didn't have extra copies of the homework to rewrite everything on. Then again, he had the excuse of the storm and using a bike for his transportation. He rubbed his face in frustration.

Hiroki accepted  _no excuses_ from anyone.

Frowning, he stepped further inside of the apartment. Rolling up his jeans up to his knees to prevent them from dragging on the floor. His feet slapped on the floor with each step through the rooms. He stayed briefly in the kitchen and the living room. Both areas giving him nothing new, other than the cleanliness and lack of book mountains. Everything smelled fresh of lemon cleaner.

This gave him an indicator that Hiroki left hours earlier. Probably before the storm picked up and went rampant through the streets. Otherwise, the smell would had dissipated long ago.

He found bookcases throughout every single room he entered. All of them filled to the brim with books. From the books obscuring his view, he didn't even know Hiroki owned any bookcases to house his literature.

In a span of minutes, he jumped and tried calming down. On account of the thunder and the trees constantly hitting against the windows. The rain fell harder against the building. The room echoed with the pitter patter of the rain. The rushing water provided tranquility with interruptions of the mighty crackling of the thunder.

Knowing Hiroki visited his parents provided a sense of comfort to stay longer. His mind littered with questions about Hiroki's secret places. Otherwise, he would inspect each room real fast and then scurry away. Of course, not before moving everything in their place to the best of his memory.

Checking the bathroom, Nowaki got hit with a musky cologne. He inhaled it deep. Closing his eyes, grinning at the familiar smell which Hiroki wore on a constant basis. Strong but not enough to make him gag. He personally didn't wear cologne. His experience consisted of older men dousing themselves in the liquid. Thinking it masked any lingering odors after long hours of work. Knowing Hiroki wore it made him want to check the name to buy it for himself. Maybe not wear it everyday but to smell it during times he felt down.

From the corner of his eyes, he saw a box of condoms on the counter. He picked it up and peered inside. A few were missing from the total amount indicated on the box. Nowaki's jaw clenched. He put the box back onto the counter and dug his fingers into his arm. Despite his fantasies, he never expected Hiroki to turn out as a blushing virgin. Untouched through other hands which were not his own. Man or woman.

A flare of jealousy burned through his veins. Deep unrelenting pressure developed in his chest. Breathing in and out, he walked away from the bathroom. He slammed the door closed, flinching at the noise and stood still. Someone might of heard it and come to the apartment on a complaint. Although, with the noise coming from the storm, muffling the impact could had occurred.

He relaxed when he heard no knock on the door or a complaint through the wall. Rubbing his face, he pushed the image of the box away from his mind. Thinking about it would aggravate his nerves and think utter nonsense.

Turning around, he walked toward Hiroki's bedroom. For certain, the contents of that room had far better contents than what he witnessed.

* * *

Nowaki's eyes twinkled as he entered Hiroki's room with a smile on his face. He switched the light on. His eyes stung from the change of light but he dimmed it down. Almost to the point where everything in the room still remained clear to his eyes. He walked forward and reached out his hand to caress Hiroki's sheets. Soft to the touch. They smelled amazing to him. He wanted nothing more than to jump on the bed. Roll around and hug Hiroki's pillows tight in his arms. He stopped himself, his wet clothes prevented him from doing such a thing.

Hiroki banned him access to this room. Giving him stern warnings on never asking him to let him go inside. Whenever he attempted to enter the room, Hiroki intercepted him with a glare and pushed him toward the living room. This stopped him from attempting in Hiroki's sight. He had no business on entering such a private room. There was nothing in there to rouse his interest. His areas were the living room, kitchen and bathroom. Stepping away from these spots earned a good lecture.

He hated to admit that he tuned Hiroki out just to watch his annoyed face. Nodding his head from time to time. Hiroki ended up noticing and flicked his forehead. All he did was laugh in response. Hiroki's reactions were so cute to him.

Nowaki went through the drawers near Hiroki's bed and opened each one without much force. Shifting through everything with trepidation, he found a section with miscellaneous objects. Broken headphones, watches, pens, glasses with one lens cracked and other things he couldn't see in the inside. He grabbed one of the watches and inspected it before slipping it inside of his messenger bag. Then, he got other pens in his grasp. Hiroki wouldn't miss them. He lost them all the time in between his book collection. Most of the time, he caught Hiroki finding pens in the oddest places.

He moved onto the drawers which housed Hiroki's clothing. After looking through the shirts and pants, he went straight to the underwear and sock drawer. Everything was folded and placed in the right areas. All in perfect alignment. He reached out his hand and picked up one of Hiroki's boxer briefs. Nowaki gulped. He held the underwear close to his face. It seemed ridiculous holding it in his hands.

Due to the lack of discarded clothes in his basket, he assumed Hiroki washed his clothing before he left. Hiroki wore these at some point in time. Fitting him in the right areas. All nice and snug. Maybe, these were a new pair. At the moment, he didn't care. He placed it even closer to his face. Opening his mouth, he stuck out his tongue and licked the crotch of those boxer briefs. He did nice long licks, wetting the material with his saliva. He stopped once he got tired of licking. Scrunching it in his hand, he sniffed it. Afterwards, he stuffed it inside of his messenger bag.

When he turned to the left, he noticed the wardrobe door was open a few inches. He opened it and shifted through all the coats. Clean and pressed. All buttoned up or zipped to the top. He noticed an extra set of books in one of the shelves and he couldn't help but snicker. Hiroki seemed to have an overabundance of books through different sections of the apartment. He didn't expect more of them but it was a nice surprise. Next time, he might read the titles and pick some books to buy for himself.

From the corner of his eyes, he saw an array of mixed up scarves. Nowaki picked up a red scarf out of the bundle. It stood out to him out of the rest of the scarves. The vibrant color. The softness when he touched the fabric. His mood picked up in an instant. He  _wanted_  it. Not even thinking about it, he placed it inside of his messenger bag. He patted it and then resumed his search of the closet. Touching different coats, he moved the hangers around and attempted to redo their original positions.

In the bottom, Nowaki noticed a tattered photo album. Hiroki's name was written on the front cover.  _Hiroki Kamijou- Our Little Butterfly._ This made Nowaki do a double take. He didn't understand the butterfly comment. A nickname from his Hiroki's parents perhaps? A moniker which transcended through the years and stuck with Hiroki. Long enough to have his parents place it on his photo album. It suited Hiroki in a way. Butterflies showed gentle beauty and grace when they flew. Nowaki saw these aspects in Hiroki whenever they studied together.

Inspecting the contents, a smile formed on his face when he saw Hiroki as a baby. The first photo inside of one those plastic cribs in the hospital. Wrapped around a blue blanket with a pout as he slept. Another one, showed Hiroki in the arms of a young tired woman with a loving smile on her face. A stern man crouched beside them. Hiroki's parents. As an adult, Hiroki was a perfect combination of his parents. His mother's brown hair and father's light brown eyes. In his opinion, most of Hiroki's looks came from his father.

With each page he turned, Hiroki grew older before his eyes. Photos of him with unfamiliar children appeared had Nowaki assuming they were his cousins. Then, images of Hiroki in different scenarios. Family vacation. Kendo tournaments. Swimming practice. Calligraphy. New Years. Birthday parties. A smiling Hiroki posed for the ones which contained his parents. The ones with other family members, his smile lessened but it remained visible.

One photo in particular made his jaw clench.

Behind the plastic cover, Hiroki stood beside a silver haired boy. Both of them grinned, hooking arms over each others shoulders. The familiar purple eyes which shined under the sun. Too familiar.

He remembered the appearance of the man from the other day. Hiroki's  _friend_. The author who Hiroki held in high regard. One that brought out a sincere smile from his beloved. He was the child in this picture. He gripped the album hard enough that it shook in his hands.

He heard something hit the floor.

Nowaki gazed down and saw a heart shaped locket in a handkerchief. Bending down, he picked it up with one hand. Closing the album, he set it aside onto the bed. He touched the cool gold. Running his finger over the engraving of a butterfly, another reference to the photo album. It was worn out. Even the chain seemed to have seen better years. He saw a mechanism on the side and pressed it.

It opened without fault. The contents were empty. No photo or even an indication there was ever anything in the space. He sighed. In the process of closing it, he caught some letters. Going to the switch, he pressed it up to gain more light in the area. Reading the inscription, his eyes widened.

_To our little butterfly, happy 10th birthday. Love, mom and dad._

Nowaki pushed the light at max before turning it off. He was happy Hiroki got a normal family. Loving parents who obviously doted on him. Their great care showed in the album and the nickname they gave him. A concept he dreamed of since childhood. It never happened to him but he still held lingering thoughts. Regardless, he wondered on the personality of Hiroki's parents.

He hoped to meet them one day.

Wrapping the handkerchief around the locket, he went toward the bed and picked up the album. Checking the contents, he saw an indentation in the back, indicating the spot as the area of the locket. He put it inside and placed it back in the closet. Shuffling some clothes to make it appear natural. He moved the door and left a space open.

* * *

After moving the last object back in its pace, Nowaki closed the last door. He kept on checking the ground for any water trails. Sighing in relief when he saw no water accumulation anywhere. Although, when Monday came around, it would've dried off. Regardless, he wanted no trace of him anywhere in the apartment. Nothing to lead to the idea that he walked through the rooms and searched through everything. He suspected Hiroki's mountains of books would return the moment he came back for his tutoring session. Masking his invisible trails of his lingering hands.

Nowaki checked the time on his waterproof watch. Long overdue on departing. Staying any longer pushed his initial luck streak he acquired through the quieting storm. At one in the morning, no one wandered the streets. Giving him a limited amount of time to ride his bike back home. Although, some might assume he left a late shift somewhere in the city. No buses or trains ran during the late nights.

His newly acquired treasures lifted up his spirits. Yet, some information he figured out about  _his_  Hiro-san didn't set well with him. It was better than finding out about it later on. The adorable pictures of Hiroki's youth gave him a sneak peek about a past Hiroki kept hidden. Hiroki answered no private questions.

Nowaki caressed the red scarf as he walked toward the entrance. As he felt it underneath his fingertips, he felt no thread out of place. Warm and soft. A scarf got the best treatment from Hiroki. From what he remembered, Hiroki's book collection was in peak condition. No bent corners or torn pages. He remembered the locket inside of the photo album. The gold circular piece, the butterfly engraving, and the minimal damage.

In Nowaki's mind, everything Hiroki touched turned magical. The closet in his apartment turned into a hiding place to keep these precious treasures out of sight. Hiroki never went to his apartment anyway. A safety precaution on his end.

His gaze went to the table they used for their study sessions. Empty of any indication of his presence or Hiroki for that matter. He hoped a piece of him remained somewhere in this apartment. An indicator of him which brought out memories of him in Hiroki's mind.

His imagination played in his dreams. He managed to seduce Hiroki when he kissed him in one of their tutoring sessions. Inhaling a sweet cinnamon aroma as he ran his fingers through those soft locks. Which then, lead them to Hiroki's bed. A beautiful sight underneath him as Hiroki gripped his back. Moaning his name in abandon and diving into their passions. Those white creamy thighs encircled his waist, their bodies molding together until they were spent.

Warmness traveled down to his manhood. These dreams haunted him throughout the day. Distracting him from his duties at his jobs but no one else noticed a change in him. He kept on smiling while he thought about Hiroki.

Through their study sessions, he knew better than to push himself on Hiroki. He didn't want to scare Hiroki away with his advances. He needed to find the perfect moment to bring up his affection.

Once he made it to the front door, he crept over his scattered papers. He crouched down and picked up his wet socks which he placed inside of his messenger bag. Placing them in a different section away from the scarf. He cringed when his foot made contact with the inside of his shoe. Turning around, he checked the lock before he walked outside and closed the door.

Observing the hall, he saw nobody in sight. He ventured down the hallway and hurried over to his bike. Unlocking it from the bike lock he used, he rode it down the street. He had an all-knowing smile on his face. His quick mission turned into a success.

A celebration was in order when he returned home.

* * *

Nowaki laid his messenger bag on the side of his bed. He didn't care to turn on the lamp which resided on the dresser of his bed. Slowly taking off his clothing, the wet material landed on the floor with consecutive smacks. Each article of clothing placed on the same spot so they didn't litter his room. Left in his boxers, he shivered in the coldness of the room. Sliding them off and he tossed them on the pile.

Grasping the covers of his bed, he pulled them up enough so he slid underneath. The coolness of his sheets made him shiver again. He adjusted his body around the bed and fluffed his pillows. Once he got comfortable, he heavenly smile formed on his face.

He reached out his hand and opened the top drawer in his nightstand. His hand wandered through the clutter until he his fingers bumped into a bottle. Grasping it in his hand, he lifted it out and recognized the lotion he bought some time ago. He kept it to moisturize his hands when they dried out. Opening it up, he placed it under his nose and whiffed the vanilla scent.

He cared nothing about the brand name. The smell was a bonus to making his hands softer. Most of the old lotions he got were presents from coworkers around the holidays.

Squeezing the lotion on the palm of his hands, he reached down his body. His member twitched and he hadn't touched it. He placed the bottle back on his dresser. Thoughts of Hiroki appeared in his mind, making his lower half react quick. He hastily grabbed his bag from the side of his bed and snatched out the red scarf from the inside. Somewhat damp in some areas due to his wet messenger bag, he inhaled it. His slicked up hand hovered over his dick as he contemplated his next move.

Nowaki laid the scarf right beside his head. Having it close to him was like having the real Hiroki with him. He gathered a mental image of the auburn haired man in the same state of nakedness. Imagining him sitting right next to him on his bed. He grasped his dick.

At first, he hissed at the cold touch of his hand. He got used to it as he slid his hand in slow motions. His dick hardened after some strokes and he gasped. He visualized Hiroki's hand replacing his own. Panting out loud with his nose buried deep in the red scarf. Not wanting to separate from it throughout his actions as he used his left hand to explore his body. Fingers ghosting over his heating flesh, trembling at the contact.

Imaginary Hiroki whispered beautiful words in his ear. His hand going faster as he looked down at him with a lustful gaze. His moans grew louder as he chanted Hiroki's name under his breath.

"Hiro-san...Hiro-san..."He repeated over and over again, his mind blank as he thought of no one other than Hiroki. "P-Please...Hiro-san..."

He climaxed. His hand coated in semen as his body cooled down. Relishing in the afterglow, he pressed a kiss on the scarf. A satisfied smile appeared on his face. He wiped his hand on a random cloth and threw it toward his pile of wet clothes.

Cuddling with the scarf, he closed his eyes. He went into a blissful sleep.

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Despite his reservations, Hiroki let himself take in a new student. A young man with bright blue eyes and a smile which brightened up the room. Intelligent and kind. The moment he agreed, he had no way of knowing of the repercussions of his actions.

Hiroki gathered all his belongings inside of his duffel bag and zipped it up. It contained his dirty clothes, apartment keys, cellphone, and bathroom products. His wallet resided in his front pocket. Double checking around his old room, he got up on his feet and hooked his bag over his shoulder. He tended to his bed and fluffed the pillows just right. His mother might chastise him over leaving this place in disarray. Despite the fact that her voice remained soft and demure, he felt reprimanded enough when she lectured him. He didn't want his mother to get upset at him for anything.

Most of the higher disciplinary measures went to his father. Of course, a father instilled fear in their children as the firmer parent of the two. Although, it wasn't to the level when the man handled his employees. He witnessed some of it during the few times he visited him in the office. Bored in his rolling chair while reading a book. The radio turned on a random station with light music. His father's voice traveled over to the main office. Booming and authoritative.

He laughed behind his book but remained in his seat. His father told him to stay in his office until he returned. He found the whole situation with his workers so amusing. After all, it wasn't him who got yelled at that time. He straightened up on his chair when his father re-entered his office.

Once he finished, he inspected the area for anything out of place. Everything was perfect. Satisfied, Hiroki patted down the bed and the pillows.

In the distance, Hiroki heard a loud honk. Snapping him out of his thoughts as he swore under his breath. He walked out of his room without a second thought. Closing the door behind him, he went down the hall. Hurrying his steps before Akihiko's patience went thin. He might go into a sequence of honks which invoked his father's wrath.

Hiroki grumbled as he gripped his overnight bag's strap. "I didn't think Akihiko would come this early. From what I remember, he doesn't enjoy waking up in the mornings. Lazy bastard."

Akihiko called him the day before when he asked advice on his newest novel. Possible editing. They ended in a long conversation. He mentioned he stayed over at his parents house for the weekend. Akihiko told him he was in the area. The author got forced into going home over some family business. Hiroki felt some sympathy. As a teenager, he walked into an Usami family dispute. Those arguments ventured into the ugly side due to the high animosity between everyone. In his luck, he never experienced such strong problems with his family.

The conversation ended when Hiroki's mother called him over for dinner. A delicious dinner combined with dessert. One of his favorites from childhood.

He bumped into Fuyumi on his way to the front door. She handed him a plastic bag full of leftover food from the day before. Breaded pork, marinated vegetables and steamed rice. His mouth salivated. He loved her home cooking. A tad biased but he grew up on her cooking and not the usual staff. He might hand half of it to Akihiko for compensating him for giving him a ride back home.

No money on him for gas. Akihiko had to settle with food.

"From the sounds of that honking, Akihiko has arrived to pick you up?"

"Yeah." Hiroki opened his bag and placed the food inside. "He said there was family reunion earlier this morning. It's a hard discussion over his career move as a full time author. From his foul mood, his father went against it and arguments ensued. You know how that family ends up arguing in the end. I don't think his mother came around this time."

Fuyumi tutted as she straightened up Hiroki's sweater. "Soshi told me that he heard their spats when he went on his usual walk."

This didn't surprise them. Each time Fuyuhiko collected their sons under one roof, the yelling resumed in that property. Callous words mixed with past resentments. Pushed into the others face while the staff stood idle. Watching everything unfold yet again before their eyes. Their whispers remained contained between the walls. Confidentially agreements were signed before their employment.

Their main source of information came through Akihiko. Hiroki knew details through having gone to Akihiko's home and overheard the staff. At times, Hiroki got into awkward conversations with Haruhiko who spared no expense to devalue his brother. Hiroki took his words with a grain of salt. Better to confirm with Akihiko before assuming anything.

Fuyuhiko's attempts at molding his family together ended in failure. His estranged wife made no effort in answering calls unless money turned into a topic. Their son didn't prompt any maternal instinct. Further driving a wedge between her and Akihiko. Not that they cared for one another in any way. The whole Usami family tolerated to put a guise to distract anyone outside their family to their truth.

Far too late.

Hiroki furrowed his brows. "That cannot be possible. Their home is too far inside their gates."

She shrugged her shoulders. "I think the meeting ended up in the garden. You know how our properties mesh up through the bushes." She patted down Hiroki's sweater. "Your father might end up calling me again to give an update. He hasn't returned."

"I didn't take him as a gossip."

"Not exactly." Fuyumi smiled. "It's more to warn me before I start taking my little stroll."

"Still a gossip." Hiroki flinched at the loud honking. "At that rate, he will get reprimanded. Not that I care."

Fuyumi smiled. "We should go save Akihiko from your father. I'm sure he heard the noise he made." Hiroki scowled. "Now, now," She patted his hand. "He already had a bad morning. We have to get going before he really gets a tongue lashing."

"Fine." Hiroki started. "I don't think you should go out the gate. You did just get out of the hospital." Her stern gaze made him swallow any more words which surfaced in his mind.

Fuyumi stated. "I'm doing perfectly fine." She grabbed a sweater from the coat rack and covered her shoulders. "If I wasn't feeling well, I would be inside of my room and in bed. Now, let's get going."

Hiroki nodded his head. He let her hold his hand while they walked out of the door. She hurried in her steps and Hiroki had some trouble keeping up with her. Hiroki gripped his strap of his overnight bag tighter.

* * *

They made it to the open gate and hid behind the open doors. Peeking around the corner, Akihiko's red car shined under the sun. Nothing out of the ordinary considering the area they lived in. They spotted Akihiko sitting in the driver's seat. Inching away, stiff as board, Soshi yelled at him as predicted. Another normal occurrence when they met each other. Soshi took it upon himself to lecture Akihiko on his unchecked behaviors.

"What is this display you are showing? If you want anyone in this house you call first!" Soshi's blaring brown eyes bore into Akihiko's averted pair. "How disrespectful!" His earlier irritation backed his anger but he lowered it down.

Once Akihiko got caught in Soshi's tirade, there was no escape. Having grown used to it, he listened to the man right beside him. He frequented Hiroki's home enough that he unknowingly entered into his family. An honorary Kamijou. This meant, he received his own share of lectures and punishments. Something, his family didn't do on their own. Tanaka punished him more than his own parents.

Through the same lines, he half-listened. He predicted the words and tried to seem that he continued on paying attention. After all, he thought he masked his disinterest with a simple mask of a face.

"I know you're not listening to me Usami!" Akihiko flinched, cursing inside of his mind. Soshi called him with his last name when he got into the irritable stage. The point where he grew close to exploding at him.

"I am. It's not to hard since you're yelling right in my face. I  _did_  call. Hiroki knows I'm coming to pick him up to take him home."

"Don't lie to me brat, Hiroki told me nothing of the sort."

Akihiko furrowed his brows. "You can check my phone if you—"

Soshi interrupted him, putting his hand forward. "Hand it over."

Hiroki bit the inside of his cheek. He trembled, trying to stop himself from laughing at the display in front of him. As a spectator, he enjoyed watching a lecture, not when he was on the receiving end of his father's wrath. He could take Akihiko's anger at his late entrance on rescuing him.

Fuyumi clutched the sweater tight around her body. "I think he's had enough yelling for today. Don't you think?"

"Akihiko can handle father. Let them duke it out for a bit."

The gate creaked as they leaned on it. Soshi sighed, turning his gaze toward the open doors. "I know you two are there. Stop hiding."

Akihiko glared at Hiroki when he appeared from behind those doors. Hiroki rolled his eyes at him. This aggravated him even more. After all, he expected some sort of penance from Hiroki. He left him on a lecture tirade from Soshi for an extended amount of time. He ceased his glare the moment Fuyumi appeared before his eyes. She offered him a smile and a wave. He returned the gesture. Albeit, with less charm than usual.

She stopped right beside his car, getting in between him and Soshi. This provided him some time to release a sigh of relief from the tension. He tried not to smirk at the harsh stare Soshi sent his way. He kept him his usual smile.

Fuyumi commented. "It's been such a long time since I last saw you. How are you Akihiko?"

He answered. "Just fine Mama Fuyumi. I finished a recent novel of mine and it's already at the printers. If you want, I can send you a free copy."

Soshi cooled down. Walking toward Hiroki, he muttered loud enough for him to hear. "Did he call you?"

No use lying, Hiroki admitted it. "Yes. He called me."

"Why didn't you tell me before I left on my walk?"

Hiroki shrugged his shoulders. "You were bound to yell at him for something. No use telling you about his arrival."

Fuyumi wagged her finger. "You shouldn't hand over your books for free Aki-chan. Your sales will drop from these sudden gifts."

Akihiko chuckled as he waved his hand. "It won't kill me Mama Fuyumi. My books sell well enough, I can spare a few copies to people I care about in my life. I insist. Once the book is printed, I will personally bring it to you."

"Alright then, I accept your gift." She giggled.

Hiroki hoped Akihiko held enough sense not to send his mother a BL novel. She knew nothing of the pen name he used when he released his sensual fantasies onto paper. He didn't want to explain to her why the characters seemed similar to Akihiko and a certain other friend in their circle of friends. Well, a circle of three friends in total.

He remembered the new book in Akihiko's lineup was harmless. This brought him relief.

Fuyumi kissed Akihiko's cheek and he held her through the open window. She waved good-bye as she back away. "Soshi, let's get going. We still have to go into the city and shop for new blankets." She wrapped her hand around Soshi's arm.

"Yes, dear." Soshi turned toward Hiroki. "Come around more often. Don't wait until I give you call."

"I know father. I'll try to visit more often." Soshi arched a brow. "I will!"

"Make sure to leave time off in your schedule. Once you make a habit of coming around, then we will see."

Hiroki went to his mother and kissed her cheek. She grinned. "I'll talk to you later."

Once they entered through the gates, the author snapped. "What took you so long Hiroki?! You left me alone to handle that demon father of yours! He lectures me whenever he talks to me."

Hiroki went around and opened the passenger door. "Father always takes his usual walk around in the morning. Besides, my mom told me a few minutes ago. What the hell did you guys use in your family squabbles? Amplifiers?"

Akihiko put the car on drive and snorted. "The debates escalated in the garden. Out in the open. There was no chance of us moving it inside of the manor." He steered the conversation away from him. "So...how's your mom doing? I made it a case not to smoke today since I knew I would encounter her. Is she doing better?"

"She's stable. Father told me that she's worse than she cares to admit. She doesn't want to worry us."

Akihiko noticed the stain of Hiroki's jaw clenching. He bit his bottom lip. His change of topic wasn't a good one. Instead, he moved onto another novel he planned out. Distracting Hiroki into thinking about tidbits of new information Akihiko needed to use for his work. Akihiko stored them in his memory.

He forgot the topic of Fuyumi's sickness bothered Hiroki. Of course, when he first met her, she seemed normal. A tad pale but nothing to indicate she had an illness. She treated him and Takahiro as her new sons. Tending to them whenever they wanted anything. He never used her heart condition against Hiroki.

Akihiko knew using this in an argument was a low blow.

They talked throughout the journey to Hiroki's apartment. He got more than enough information to write half of his novel with time to spare. He stopped right in front of the building. Thanking Hiroki for his new source of inspiration, he was surprised Hiroki handed him a container. The smell of food caused his stomach to grumble. Hiroki whacked his shoulder before he got out of the car.

His mood lifted. No ordering out for him.

* * *

Once Hiroki entered his apartment, he saw the scattered papers of Nowaki's homework on the floor. He set his overnight bag on top of his shoe box but he kept his plastic bag of food with him. Crouching down, he gathered the papers into a neat pile, organizing the subjects he wanted to correct first. Leaving the sciences toward the end. He never worried about Nowaki leaving his work uncompleted. The giant always turned his papers on time.

As he read the math paper, he calculated the perfect grade inside of his mind. He predicted one hundred percent scores on the rest of the homework. This made his work easier. His homework for the week piled up due to his visit to his parents home. Getting up on his feet, he kicked off his shoes from his feet and moved them aside. He closed the door before hopping onto the wooden floor.

Holding the papers in his free hand, he stretched his hands above his hand. Bones popped here and there, releasing the tension inside his body. A yawn escaped his lips.

When his stomach grumbled, he decided to eat his food. From the large amount his mother packed for him, he wouldn't have to cook until the morning. Maybe even another day without cooking. This left him free time to work on his own homework or read a novel he placed aside.

An odd feeling washed through him as he walked through his home. Everything looked normal at first glance. He inspected each room on his path to his bedroom. Through his calculations, he found nothing missing from his possessions. He thought back on everything he owned, all he cared about were his books. This didn't settle his speculations and it continued on gnawing at his mind.

He pushed the bedroom door open. Other than the random sock he missed, everything was how he left it. He checked through his drawers. His underwear and socks stayed in their right spots. He got on his knees and looked under his bed. Absolutely nothing.

Getting back onto his feet, he observed his surroundings. The feeling still nagged at him.

He opened his wardrobe. Shrugging his sweater, he placed it on a hanger. When he put it with the rest of his jackets, he saw everything in perfect order. His eyes wandered toward his scarves and he checked through each one. He grew distressed when he found a certain scarf missing from the bundle in his closet. He moved everything from the inside. Tossing them over his shoulder and making a mess of his floor.

He swore under his breath and almost climbed inside. Squinting his eyes through the dim lighting inside of the wardrobe. "Where is it? I know I left it in here before I left home. I double checked and everything! Fuck."

Getting out of the closet, he gripped the wooden doors. His hands quivered from the pressure. Staring at the bare insides he thought it would appear due to his faulty vision. Then again, the vibrant red color contrasted with his neutral colored clothing. It would be ridiculous for him to miss that specific scarf, even with his faulty eyesight.

After throwing away bags of trash during his cleaning spree, he made sure the contents were just trash. Throwing away such a cherished gift never crossed his mind. He kept it in one place. In his growing frustration, he slammed the doors closed.

The beloved scarf his mother gave him had vanished.

TBC


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Despite his reservations, Hiroki let himself take in a new student. A young man with bright blue eyes and a smile which brightened up the room. Intelligent and kind. The moment he agreed, he had no way of knowing of the repercussions of his actions.

Nowaki expressed his happiness at the resumed tutoring sessions. Throughout the night, he reviewed everything Hiroki set for him. He didn't want to embarrass himself in front of him after all. After such a long absence, in his mind anyway, he'd spend time with Hiroki. He coped. Slightly. Knowing full well that on Monday afternoon they would see each other. The possessions he acquired helped him during this little separation. Without them, he would have suffered from not physically seeing Hiroki. He daydreamed of brushing his hand against his tutor's hair in mock casualty.

His plan to change's Hiroki's perception of him started. He needed to grow bolder in his attempts to catch his attention. Maybe a compliment or two. Knowing Hiroki, the man took no compliments on his appearance. He had to turn deceptive and mask his intentions until the right moment.

He knocked on the door. Bouncing on his feet, he patted down his hair. The door opened and to his surprise, he was greeted with a moody Hiroki. His grimace and narrowed eyes gave the impression of wanting no one in his presence. Hiroki ushered him in as he slammed the door shut. Nowaki flinched as he removed his shoes. Hiroki stalked past him and went straight to his seat.

When Nowaki shuffled over to his usual spot, Hiroki handed him a stack of papers. All the papers had one hundred percent in each of the papers. Nowaki wanted to praise his teacher, but he bit his tongue.

Someone or something reduced Hiroki into this angry mess.

Staying quiet, Nowaki reviewed his work. He observed the room for the first time. Shock filled his body. The vicinity was half way filled with papers and books. The once pristine home, turned into shambles. Almost as if a tornado burst through the room and destroyed everything in sight. From his distance, Hiroki's bedroom was in the same state of disarray. A complete overhaul from the day before. This confused him.

Hiroki left everything spotless before he went to visit his parents. Thinking back, Nowaki made sure everything he touched remained in the same spot. Even everything he picked up in his hands. Hiroki's perceptive eyes might have caught something important which disappeared from his sight. Whenever he turned anything in, Hiroki found something off with his work despite the one hundred percent scores. Nothing he snatched up were anything too serious in his opinion.

He tried not to think about the condom box he found in the bathroom. He hoped his idea on Hiroki having a lover was false for his own sake. His peaceful state of mind jarred. Images of another person  _owning_  his Hiro-san, incensed him deep in his soul. He wanted nothing more than to track this person and scare them off.

Hiroki waved his hand around, snapping. "Get onto looking through your math booklet. That's what we will work on today."

Nowaki broke from his thoughts and nodded without much thought. The anger seeping through Hiroki's voice almost affected him. After all, the direction and reason was unknown. He might have come on the wrong time. Although, Hiroki told him to come during this free time in his schedule. Sighing, Nowaki placed it onto another matter.

He let a smile grace his face when he asked. "How are you today, Hiro-san?"

Hiroki answered with a glare. "Just  _fine_. Why are you asking?"

Nowaki chose his words well, he wanted to stay in Hiroki's home without having a disagreement with him. "You seem...tense? Anything I can help you with?"

Hiroki flipped a page of his textbook, keeping his eyes on the text. "I made more sheets for you to do. Get to it." He pointed to the folder right in front of him, avoiding the question with precise finesse.

Nowaki reached over and held the folder in his hands. After removing the contents, he took out a pencil from his messenger bag. He started working in an instant. He peeked up from time to time to check up on Hiroki. Humming a song he heard on the radio, he worked on the questions. A song he felt described his feelings for Hiroki. Feelings which he hoped Hiroki noticed in the future. A small hint for Hiroki without having to sing the lyrics himself.

Hiroki clutched his pencil in agitation, he breathed deep, trying to control himself. Releasing his anger on Nowaki would undue all the work he placed on tutoring him in the first place. His own frustrations were his own to deal without including someone else.

In a slight way, he cared for Nowaki and his educational goals. He hadn't met someone that dove into studying and placed hard work into completing everything. The giant wasted no time. He voiced his goals on the first day they talked and set the tutoring schedules. A social worker who wanted to help children.

He wouldn't have accepted Nowaki's presence for long without this set goal. His own life grabbed most of his free time.

Nowaki paused in his humming, his eyebrows furrowed. He leaned forward and tapped Hiroki's shoulder a couple of times. His fingers tingled at touching the man in front of him. He kept his inner joy hidden well inside of his mind.

Hiroki stared up at Nowaki.

"I'm having a little trouble with number five. Can you check to see if I got it correct?" Nowaki asked.

"Let me see." Nowaki moved the paper closer to Hiroki, he scooted closer to him. Knowing his closeness got excused for checking the explanations better.

The scent of cologne reached Nowaki's nose. He inhaled long intakes. A musky scent which matched the one in the bathroom. He wanted to grab a random sweater from Hiroki's closet but the scarf was enough. It carried some of the aroma without him having to spray more cologne onto the fabric.

Hiroki grabbed his red pen, already scratching out some mistakes. He annotated the proper form to get the answer in the margins, he saw Nowaki nod in understanding and solved the answer in a matter of seconds.

Pleased that he got it, Nowaki smiled at Hiroki. "Thank you so much Hiro-san."

Hiroki waved him off. "I'm supposed to help you kid, I'm your tutor now get back to work."

Nowaki kept the smile on his face as he returned to his worksheets. Yet again, his eyes moved from the sheet to Hiroki, his bangs obscured his eyes when his tutor turned to his direction.

* * *

After an hour of silence, Nowaki stopped answering the questions on his worksheets. He noticed Hiroki gnawing on the of his pen. His light brown eyes narrowed in obvious irritation and ignored any attempts at long conversation. Usually, Hiroki humored him and asked his own questions. Nowaki bit his bottom lip. The atmosphere felt uncomfortable and tense.

Leaving felt like the best option.

"Hiro-san?" Nowaki cringed at the glare he received. "Should we continue on another day?"

"What are you talking about? Do you need to get to work early or something?"

Nowaki gulped as he put down his pen. "You seem like you're in an awful mood. Whatever is going on, you should take time for yourself. That's what I do when I'm feeling down. Also, I know you diverted answering the first time."

"Then,  _why_  are you asking me again?" Hiroki growled. "If I didn't answer the first time, it means I don't want to talk about it."

Nowaki panicked as he said. "I'm so sorry. It's just..."

Hiroki combed through his hair with his right hand. "Don't tell me sorry it's irritating. Besides, I'm the one in a pissed off mood. Look, it has nothing to do with you. At all. I have some shit going on and I can't get it out of my mind."

Nowaki nodded his head and bit back another apology. Hiroki told him apologies angered him during this time. He wasn't about to test the limits on that temper. Nowaki picked up his pencil and feigned doing his work but his mind wasn't into it. How could he? His Hiro-san remained upset at something which affected him so deeply.

He felt Hiroki staring at him as he worked. After their stiff conversation, he wanted to keep up the appearance of a hardworking student to his tutor. Nowaki wrote down the beginnings of solving the problem. Out of nowhere, Hiroki snatched his paper away from him and checked it.

"I just showed you the proper way to solve this problem." Hiroki stated, eyebrows furrowed, creating an indentation between his eyebrows. "Are you purposely trying to make me angry?" He asked with an underlying irate tone as he placed the paper back on the table.

Nowaki gritted his teeth as he said. "People make mistakes Hiro-san. I was about to correct he mistake I made in the last line I wrote."

Hiroki scoffed. "Yeah right. Most people in this world are just incompetent. They end up losing important things that their mother made with her own bare hands."

Nowaki years his voice crack when he said "mother", and stared at him. "What...what do you mean? Is something going on with your mother?"

Hiroki averted his eyes when he answered. "..There was this red scarf in my wardrobe.."

Nowaki's heart raced in fear, he knew which scarf Hiroki mentioned. He had it hidden underneath his pillow. Before he left home, he made certain it remained hidden from anyone wanting to grab it. He caressed the scarf with loving care as he laid beside it when he was home.

He saw Hiroki's saddened eyes and it clicked inside of Nowaki's mind. The scarf was made by Hiroki's _mother._ The state of it was practically flawless and well taken cared of. Hiroki must have loved his mother enough to take loving care of it. A gift from said person made the scarf all the more special.

Nowaki pinched himself under the table. How was he supposed to know it was that special? The scarf was nestled into a ball with the rest of the scarves in the closet.

No indicators stuck out at him to realize this fact.

"I'm so damn careless. I can't ask her to make me another one when she worked hard on it when she was at the hospital. I think this year she is making hand knitted sweaters."

Nowaki felt a stab in his heart for his insensitivity at grabbing such a precious treasure. He couldn't handle hearing Hiroki sound so broken at thinking he'd actually lost it. Thinking his own carelessness caused this problem. When in reality it wasn't lost, it was safe and sound underneath a pillow. The scarf was without a thread out of place and in perfect condition.

"Is it lost?" Nowaki decided to lie, the option in the long run seemed in his best interest.

Hiroki nodded his head. "I think it is lost. How could I lose it? It's a bright  _red_  color! I easily found it in the dark if I needed to wear it!"

Nowaki chewed the inside of his cheek to refrain from telling the truth. Oh how he hated lying to Hiroki. It became  _too_  natural of him to keep out his misdeeds from having him reveal everything due to his guilt. He hated lying. This was something the orphanage taught him at a young age. Many awful things spiraled out of control whenever someone lied.

The vulnerable side of his harsh teacher had him wanting to hold him tight in his arms. When one was sad it was only natural to hug them and comfort them in their time of need. Hiroki needed him. Nowaki's body twitched toward Hiroki's direction but he stayed put. He was eager to touch this beautiful man as he imagined in his very lucid dreams. They felt more and more real each day.

He desired him so much. Possessing his body, kissing away all of the fears, and making sure he was the only man in Hiroki's mind. Where his touches and kisses brought on Hiroki's desires.

It became unbearable. His mental resistance slowly eroded as the days passed on.

Hiroki stared at Nowaki from the corner of his eyes and noticed the man's inner dilemma, it was etched all over his pretty boy face. He didn't expect Nowaki to remotely care about his missing gift from his mother. Nowaki knew nothing about her. This was the first time he brought her up throughout their tutoring sessions. He never revealed such intimate details to anyone.

"Nothing I can do I guess.." Hiroki sighed as he rubbed his temples. "Thinking about it will run me ragged at this rate. I'll just tell her the color drained out when I accidentally put it in my laundry and went light pink." He yawned a few seconds later and rubbed his eyes. "All this frustrations have made me more tired than I thought.

* * *

Minutes passed after Hiroki yawned. He laid on the floor and used his dark sweater as a pillow. Hiroki muttered he just wanted to close his eyes. It didn't last long. He fell into what Nowaki assumed was a deep sleep. He tossed and turned a couple of times while tangling his hands into the fabric to make it more comfortable.

Nowaki placed his chin in the palm of his hand as he stared at Hiroki from his spot at the low rise table. He smiled when he saw Hiroki wrinkling his nose and muttering curses under his breath. The whole image stuck in his mind. The giant stood up as he went toward the couch picked up a fluffy looking pillow. He went back to Hiroki and replaced the makeshift pillow. He was pleased he could help Hiroki in some way and wondered whether he should've stayed or not.

He didn't care. At least, he saw Hiroki's adorable sleeping face.

Just in case Hiroki woke up, Nowaki finished his work fast. He couldn't lose the chance to gaze at Hiroki's sleeping face. He drank up the image of seeing Hiroki sleep beside him in bed using his imagination. He decided on laying down beside him. Testing out the arrangement, he found he enjoyed the small distance between the both of them. Scooting closer, he memorized the details of Hiroki's face.

Nowaki let out a few of his murmured adoration of Hiroki slip out of his lips. His heart sped up when the man shifted in his slumber. They were just simple statements which he held true over the older man but having said them made them truer in his heart.

Reaching out his hand, Nowaki glided his fingers across Hiroki's hair, not at all surprised at the softness of those light brown locks. He got braver and ran his hand through Hiroki's hair, giggling softly when Hiroki nuzzled his hand the moment he touched the skin of his cheek. His eyes went toward Hiroki's unbuttoned shirt which exposed copious amounts of skin, he questioned whether or not to risk waking up his sleeping secret love and touch him. It was an appealing notion on his part but he doubted he could remove his hand off of Hiroki.

Shaking his head, he took his hand back. His mind needed something else to place his thoughts on and fast. His hand itched to touch Hiroki's warm and soft skin.

He bit his bottom lip as his eyes wandered toward Hiroki's lips. They were a soft pink color, soft and supple, just begging to be kissed. He wanted to taste the peach chap stick Hiroki applied to prevent them from drying out and Hiroki's natural flavor mixed in. He wanted to have his lust driven mad by the red swelling of those lips as he bit them while they kissed in passion.

Nowaki gulped, nerves wrecked through his body. His body trembled. The opportunity of kissing Hiroki was too great to pass up. He might never get this chance again. Hiroki was in such a deep sleep he would never know it occurred. He already planned out how to confess his feelings of love. Maybe Hiroki wanted him too.

He moved a few strands of Hiroki's hair from his face as he gathered up his courage. Cupping Hiroki's cheek, he leaned closer and closed the gap in between them.

This simple brush of the lips released the animalistic side Nowaki had long since forgotten he possessed. He closed his eyes in bliss and relished the contact of their lips.

He broke the kiss a few seconds later, but to him it felt as if he kissed Hiroki for hours.

Afterwards, Nowaki touched his lips, his curiosity on comparing his dreams to reality was satisfied. He contemplated kissing Hiroki again but Hiroki opened his eyes and closed them again. He feared Hiroki knew of their kiss yet Hiroki went back to sleep. Hiroki even switched positions and moved to his side, facing away from Nowaki. Oh well. Better luck next time.

Nowaki breathed a sigh of relief as he stood up and went to organize his possessions. Once he collected everything in his bag he hoisted the strap of his messenger bag on his shoulder. He accidentally knocked over one of Hiroki's books onto the floor causing a loud slam.

Hiroki woke up at the sound and opened his eyes. He rubbed them with the back of the hand as his eyebrows furrowed. "The fuck… oh shit you're still here. Damn it, I must have fallen asleep."

Nowaki hastily picked up the book. "I hit your book by mistake..sorry. I'll put it right back on your table. Don't worry." He placed it at its proper place as Hiroki stood up and stretched up his arms.

"What time is it?" Hiroki asked as he turned to the clock on his wall and read the time. "Never mind. Disregard my question."

The time turned out later than he expected. Hiroki thought Nowaki would've just left his home already. He didn't mind if Nowaki left him to go home. After all, he was rude enough to sleep while he resided in his home.

Nowaki had a night shift at a convenience store. He caught him once while he grabbed some quick food to eat in the morning.

What reason could he have to stay for?

Hiroki remembered that Nowaki didn't know which folders showed the papers for tutoring and not his own classes. He must have forgotten to give the extra packets at the beginning. Then again, his foul mood brought him to forget what he did while tutoring Nowaki.

Nowaki moved out of the way as Hiroki grabbed one of the folders and handed him a different folder. "You did finish your work right?"

"Yes I did." Nowaki answered as he cradled the folder on his arms. "I left everything on the table Hiro-san. Don't worry, I filled out everything and described everything in detail."

"Good." Hiroki scratched the back of his head. "Go home kid you have a night shift, you need to grab some coffee to function."

Nowaki nodded his head, not at all displeased that he was leaving his Hiro-san. He licked his lips. The reminder of Hiroki's lips would keep him going throughout the shift. He didn't need coffee.

"Okay see you soon Hiro-san." Nowaki told him with the largest smile on his face and waved at him.

Hiroki gave a half-hearted wave. Nowaki's smile grew bigger and his eyes almost seemed to sparkle. The happiness poured out of the man in waves and reached Hiroki. He arched his eyebrow and crossed his arms over his chest.

What was Nowaki so happy about?

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Despite his reservations, Hiroki let himself take in a new student. A young man with bright blue eyes and a smile which brightened up the room. Intelligent and kind. The moment he agreed, he had no way of knowing of the repercussions of his actions.

Akihiko removed his sunglasses and placed them inside of his jacket pocket. He checked for his cigarettes and to his relief he didn't leave them back home. Last time, he found them in underneath Suzuki-san. The engine of his car whirred to a stop when he turned off his red sports car. He got out of the car and slammed the door shut. Pressing a button on his keys, he locked all the doors. At the sound of the beep, he left the car knowing it remained shut from anyone else. He pocketed his keys.

He hurried down the sidewalk and entered the humble diner where a kind hostess approached him. Once he explained Hiroki's appearance, she lead him toward the brown haired man, but not before she grabbed another menu.

Hiroki sipped his coca cola while he turned another page of the book he currently read. His whole demeanor, relaxed. Showing no indication of his prior anger at his loss. In fact, he had a small smile on his face which made his features much softer than the usual frown he sported.

From his peripheral vision, he noticed the familiar light blue dress the waitress wore and he looked up. She set the menu in front of him with Akihiko sitting himself down but not before ruffling Hiroki's hair which produced a scowl.

Hiroki snapped. "I'm not a kid Akihiko! What the hell!"

Akihiko smirked as he patted Hiroki's head and avoided the smack of his hand. "I know. That's for leaving me with your father Hiroki. It's a small thing but I will get you again."

"Technically he's yours too." Akihiko arched a brow. "If he were any other guy you wouldn't let him lecture you that harshly. You never let anyone snap at you without retaliating." Hiroki opened his menu and shifted through the options. "You're part of my family. That's why father is particularly mean to you."

"Why though? He has you to yell at whenever he is pissed. What? Are you not enough for him anymore?" Akihiko asked while picking out his option and shut his menu. "Have you ordered yet?"

"No." Hiroki said as he closed his book and hid it in his book bag. "When I first got here I wasn't hungry, now I am feeling pretty peckish. I might get something small." He pushed the glass of water to Akihiko, Akihiko grasped the soda next to that and took a long sip. "Akihiko!"

Akihiko smiled as he gulped down the soda before he said. "What? We've shared drinks since we were children Hiroki. You need to mellow out before you blow a gasket. Besides, you've never complained about this habit. You practically offer your drinks most of the time we hang out. The same goes to Takahiro."

Hiroki slapped him on the shoulder as he rolled his eyes, "Whatever." Akihiko's phone rang in his pocket and without looking at it, pressed ignore. "Avoiding your editor again? You need to stop doing that."

"She doesn't stop calling me, I thought she would've quit by now. She knows my writing habits and shouldn't feel the need to interrupt me." Akihiko explained while checking over his shoulder, the waitress walked to their direction. "Might as well order. Do you know what you want?"

Hiroki answered. "Yeah."

The young girl held a notepad in her hands as Akihiko and Hiroki told her their orders. She jotted it all down as they handed her their menus and gave them both her best smile. A sincere smile. Akihiko presented his stage smile which caused a blush on her cheeks.

Akihiko felt proud of his affect on people. This meant he perfected his disguised persona to the public. Disguising his usual foul mood when presenting himself to his award shows or interviews.

She turned to Hiroki who took sips of his soda and paid no attention. Though, he thanked her when she collected his glass to refill the contents with his drink. If he didn't at least attempt to act out his lessons, memories of his parents jamming polite etiquette into his young mind resurfaced. Not that his mother forced the lessons of etiquette on him. She tapped his hand with a spoon when he got something wrong.

The tea parties in the garden with his mother brought a small smile on his face. He might ask for a small lunch in the garden on his next visit.

The waitress left them and returned with their drinks. Akihiko pressed ignore on his phone yet again. He changed the settings to silent mode, already grown tired of Aikawa's persistent calls.

"Do you remember when my mom used to teach us etiquette when we were kids?" Hiroki inquired and sipped his new soda.

Akihiko chuckled. "The little tea parties in the backyard with the pastries we tried to pass off as 'manly'. I didn't care about the cutesy designs of the desserts but the jokes always made her crinkle her nose. Those were good times."

Hiroki held back his laughter when he said. "She told me about the time you dumped your tea all over your she-devil of a mother's white dress. You added food coloring to make a bigger impact on the stain."

"That's right!" Akihiko said as he tried keeping his initial laughter in check but he failed.

Hiroki and Akihiko laughed as they pictured Akihiko's mother ready to attack her son when he tripped her into the cake. In front of a majority of the Usami family. The workers of the manor kept a straight face as they cleaned the cake off of everything but gossiped about the ordeal in detail for days. Hiroki heard his mother muttering about good cake going to waste after she had a good laugh on the issue.

Akihiko had no remorse on what he had done. In his rationalization, she had it coming. The woman never treated him kindly and attempting to gain her favor did nothing. He never really cared for her anyway.

Their laughter subsided but a few chuckles managed to escape the both of them.

The waitress returned, a tray in her left hand. She set it on the other table before she collected each individual plate. She placed each plate in front of Akihiko and Hiroki, then she returned to attend other customers.

Hiroki began eating his order of pork cutlets with a side of rice and miso soup. Hiroki sipped his soup and ate a huge chunk of the pork. Savoring the flavor

Akihiko ordered beef stir fry with the same side orders as Hiroki. He snapped off the chopsticks apart and dug in.

"I'll bet you're thinking of wanting to trick her again aren't you?"

Akihiko hid his grin as he told Hiroki. "You found me out. Can you blame me? She is the devil incarnated, even you can admit it Hiroki."

Hiroki sipped his coke. "Can't argue with that." He leaned against his seat while fiddling with the buttons on his brown pea coat. "I'm sure she might get back at you."

"If trying to get me to marry those air-headed daughters of her friends is her so called revenge, that's a horrible way to go at it."

"Nah, she is waiting on something bigger to attack you with." Hiroki said as he went back to his food. "You are going to have to be careful Akihiko."

"I always am when it comes to that woman. Even those other two don't mess around with her. She can make a huge scandal but reputation is everything to her." Akihiko returned to his food as well. He moved onto his rice since he hadn't touched the side dish yet.

The moment he saw him, Akihiko noticed the dark circles under Hiroki's eyes. He didn't mention anything under the assumption that Hiroki dove into his schoolwork again and sleep escaped him. Again. He knew Hiroki well enough to know he never stopped working until he either completed it or after he collapsed from exhaustion. Maybe even a new book got Hiroki's attention and he kept reading the pages into the early hours of the morning.

His violet eyes noticed the dark scarf around Hiroki's neck. He furrowed his brows. He wondered where the red one disappeared to. Hiroki always wore it whenever he had the chance. Despite the bright color, Hiroki managed to find clothes complementing the color.

He assumed Hiroki left it hanging to dry after hand washing it.

Akihiko cleared his throat, he smirked. "Where's your bright monstrosity Hiroki?"

Hiroki glared at him. "Don't start with me Akihiko, not today."

"Why? I'm just curious, the way you care for the thing, you never leave out a chance to wear it." Akihiko sipped his soda. "It's not like it was taken or something, you would've kicked the person's ass."

"If it'll shut you up, I lost it."

Akihiko stared at him in astonishment. "You're lying...when? You never lose anything!" Hiroki gave him a confirming stare as Akihiko said. "Well, anything is replaceable but gifts from the heart...not very easy to remake."

Hiroki sighed. "Ugh..nothing is going good for me at all lately. I might as well sleep all of this off when I get back home…I couldn't sleep due to my thesis plus my mom. In general, it's all been a mess."

Akihiko offered. "Want to grab a drink after this? We can go to my place and you can get as drunk as you want. It's Saturday."

"Sure. Why not."

* * *

Hiroki shivered. He rubbed his arms to create warmth. He felt someone staring at him but he had no idea from which direction. This new development made him nervous. With so many people in the city, he though he was invisible from anyone gazing at him. Turning his head to the left and right, he saw that no one stared at him directly at all.

Akihiko arched a brow as to why Hiroki rubbed his shoulders. The temperature ran a little too hot due to the cold weather outside. The heater blasted all throughout the diner. He even took off his heavy sweater to accommodate the heat before he started to sweat.

Akihiko asked with worry in his tone. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah I'm fine…it's just that I feel like someone is staring at me. It's creeping me out." Hiroki answered as he hid his face from the window with his hand.

"Seriously?" Akihiko searched through the place and saw no one acting suspicious. "Well, I see no one being weird. Everyone I see are in their own little worlds. Are you sure?"

Hiroki still felt the burning sensation of a pair of eyes watching him. "I still feel it, I think I should leave."

Akihiko placed his hand on Hiroki's shoulder. "Look, if you leave you're giving the person the satisfaction that he or she made you do it. Besides we're having a good time, you can ignore it."

"Whatever Akihiko you're not getting a stare down from some unknown person from who knows where." Hiroki snapped as he finished his food and drank all of his soda.

"Whoa slow down!"

Hiroki finished eating as he placed his chopsticks on the plate. He felt no eyes on him and relief washed over him. The person must have left him alone or found someone more interesting to look at. The way he scarfed down his food might have disgusted the person to leave him alone. For once, he was glad he ate so vicious at times.

Hiroki visibly relaxed in Akihiko's eyes, he asked. "The feeling is gone?"

"Yeah."

"Good." Akihiko said as he checked his watch. "Is 4 in the afternoon too early for booze?"

Hiroki shook his head. "Hell no, we have plenty of time to buy the beer and make it back to your place. I'll buy the snacks and you get the beer."

Akihiko smiled at Hiroki's new found energy, the creep must have shaken him a bit earlier. "Sounds like a plan. I'll get my preferred brand. I don't want to hear any complaints from you."

They missed a pair of ocean blue eyes glaring at Akihiko before passing the window of the diner.

Akihiko and Hiroki's happiness over their oncoming drunkenness obscured anything outside their conversation.

Hiroki got up from his seat and buttoned up his coat while Akihiko put on his purple sweater. They placed money on the table to pay for their food before exiting the establishment. A press of a button unlocked the doors and both men entered the car. The car revved into life as they sped off into the traffic.

* * *

Hiroki leaned against the couch as he tipped the beer to his lips. He gulped a huge amount down his throat. His mind swirled. Placing his legs on top of the coffee table and stared at the empty cans of beer with little interest. He wondered how much more he could drink before he completely slurred in his words. Falling back into a drunken stupor and snoring the night away. He felt safe in Akihiko's home. His friend always let him sleep his drunkenness off without any problems.

He turned to his right and noticed Akihiko finishing the beer he had in his hand. Akihiko placed the empty can with the rest of the other cans before he opened another one. He took another sip while he reached out his hand and ruffled Hiroki's hair. Hiroki didn't react. He rolled his eyes and relaxed in his spot on the couch.

Akihiko sighed when he noticed how many beers Hiroki drank in the past hour. It wasn't a surprise how many were accumulating but still unsettled him. He was glad Hiroki drank in his apartment and not in some random bar with people he didn't know. He trusted no one outside his circle of friends.

This was why he always offered Hiroki to come drink at his place. The spacious area gave them enough room to stumble around without pissing anyone off. When they got hammered, they could fall asleep anywhere. If they were at a bar, they would get kicked out at closing hour. Akihiko hated when people told him what to do.

Hiroki drank a big gulp of his beer as he complained. "This sucks! Why did this have to happen when I barely returned from home? Am I seriously that forgetful? Man this is turning in to a shitty ass week."

Akihiko patted Hiroki's shoulder when he told him. "Who knows, maybe it's somewhere you never expected and will find it real soon."

Hiroki made a face as he wagged his finger. "No no…I checked  _everywhere_! I even looked behind my bookcases and under my bed…but no! It was not there! I want to hit something to get rid of this anger."

Akihiko nodded his head as he sipped more of his beer, he suggested. "I can look throughout your place when I visit next time. Besides, if you have me looking at everything alongside with you we might be able to find it."

Hiroki hugged Akihiko while he said. "That…would be great, thanks Akihiko. You're awesome...you really are."

Akihiko snickered when he heard Hiroki saying this to him without restraint. He knew Hiroki never praised him like this when he was sober. So he was going to enjoy hearing Hiroki complimenting him until Hiroki fell asleep.

He patted Hiroki's back and smirked. "Why thank you Hiroki, that's very nice of you to say."

Hiroki nodded his head with a flush to his cheeks when he poked Akihiko's chest. "Don't get…don't get used to it! I'm just being nice right now. You should..be lucky I am not calling..you..you mean!"

"Of course you are just being nice." Akihiko mused as he relaxed on his sofa while he let out a big yawn.

Hiroki swigged of his beer as he burped loudly. Akihiko wasn't annoyed by Hiroki's action at all. They have been friends for far too long for him to have not seen Hiroki burping without a care. He burped in front of Hiroki all the time, they were that comfortable with each other. If the time called for it, they even bathed at the same time. Saved time and water.

Akihiko remembered the first time they got drunk as he chuckled. "Hiroki..do you remember when we drank that bottle of alcohol at my house and your father yelled at us for it?"

Hiroki blinked as he started snickering. "Oh yeah…your father was at a business trip and he forgot to lock his alcohol stash away…" He leaned against Akihiko when he continued. "And then Tanaka noticed we were acting weird! He tried chasing after us around the manor but couldn't catch us. It was so funny!"

Akihiko shook his head as he smiled and closed his eyes. "To see your father yelling at that man for being so irresponsible was worth sitting through his lectures." He let out a sigh as he put an arm around Hiroki's shoulders. "So…how's tutoring what's his name going along?"

He only recently found out about this guy Hiroki tutored and he felt sort of hurt Hiroki didn't tell him about this kid sooner. If he never went to visit Hiroki then he might have never found out about this kid until way later. Akihiko let it slide, he knew Hiroki would tell him everything if he asked about it.

What he wanted to know was the kid's name. Hiroki was his dearest friend and he wanted to protect him. He needed a name to do a background check. With his connections he could find every little detail about this guy and check if he was good enough to be around Hiroki.

Of course, Hiroki didn't know of his spy nature but he wanted to make sure whoever got close to them had no ulterior motives. He dismissed countless people who he found out through these background checks. A majority of them were after the Usami fortune. He knew his method was effective.

"Hmmm?" Hiroki scrunched his eyebrows as he drew a blank, until he remembered Nowaki's tall stature and his blue eyes which were not common in Japan. "Wait…Nowaki? Oh he's learning all the shit I am tutoring him about."

Akihiko opened his eyes as he turned to look at Hiroki, he was already speculating on the validity of the young man's name. "Nowaki? That's an odd name, are you sure that's this kid's name?"

Hiroki nodded his head as he raised his hand. "Yup…he showed me his I.D, that's his real name. His picture was not so bad. Lucky bastard." Hiroki hiccuped as he patted Akihiko's hand. "He isn't wasting my time…that's a real good thing…he isn't annoying half the time either."

Akihiko knew he could narrow it down with this name alone, no one else had such an odd name. To make sure he didn't forget, he took his arm off of Hiroki and grabbed a pen from his pocket. He quickly wrote the name on a random napkin before he forgot about it through his drunken stupor.

He tossed his pen at a random direction as he downed his can of beer. Then, he started feeling the effects of the alcohol as he tossed the empty can to the pile.

Hiroki kept talking about Nowaki as he said. "Like like…this kid has a shit load of jobs…I was surprised he even made it to tutoring half the time. He has this…big smile too..he never stops smiling…ever…"

Akihiko ruffled Hiroki's hair when he laughed. "At least he isn't using his jobs as an excuse …to not…do your homework."

"Damn straight!" Hiroki exclaimed. "I would kick his ass if …he ever tried flaking on me! I have wasted enough time..only to have him run off on me!"

Akihiko patted his chest with his hand. "Call me in to help…no random punk..is going to run off on my friend."

Hiroki arched a brow as he hit Akihiko's shoulder. "I'm practically your brother dumbass!"

"Oh yeah!" Akihiko smirked as he held him close when he playfully said. "My bad little  _brother_."

Hiroki scowled as he pushed him away softly. "Don't say it like that…you sound so stupid…and annoying."

Akihiko laughed out loud as he held onto Hiroki. "You are just…so entertaining."

Hiroki huffed as he hit Akihiko again and he rolled his eyes. "You are…the ridiculous one." He looked around the apartment for a bit before he closed his eyes and started drifting to sleep. "Man…I need to find that scarf…"

Akihiko told him. "We'll find it…don't worry about it…"

Hiroki fell asleep a few minutes later. Akihiko tiredly set him down on his sofa. He swayed a bit but he regained his balance. Akihiko felt no need to grab a blanket from his bedroom when his home always stayed warm. He knew he wouldn't catch a cold while sleeping without one.

He laid down right next to him and yawned before he closed his eyes. Akihiko grabbed a pillow to cuddle with since Suzuki-san was in his room at the moment. He was asleep in a manner of minutes. In his sleep he unconsciously wrapped his arms around Hiroki and cuddled with him.

When they woke up hours later, Akihiko wondered when he put his arms around Hiroki. Hiroki and Akihiko didn't care how it happened since they always ended up huddled close when they napped when they were little. They had grown used to it so they stopped questioning it.

The warmth was worth it.

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Despite his reservations, Hiroki let himself take in a new student. A young man with bright blue eyes and a smile which brightened up the room. Intelligent and kind. The moment he agreed, he had no way of knowing of the repercussions of his actions.

Akihiko pushed Hiroki's bookcase to the side. He squinted his eyes and looked into the space. The light inside of the apartment made everything clearer than before they started their search. Nothing indicated that the scarf was in the back or stuck in any of the crevices. He frowned. After all the time he spent on his knees, nothing came out from his search. He sighed as he moved the bookcase back in its place. He shuffled his silver hair to the side. He checked every single bookcases Hiroki owned and no results solved the mystery of the disappeared scarf.

He turned around and searched for Hiroki throughout the apartment and found him looking under the sofas. Hiroki reached underneath and grabbed anything he touched. All he would ever pull out from the darkness was old garbage. Even if Hiroki didn't face him, he knew Hiroki's desperation in finding that scarf. A fruitless search after spending hours checking everything. Fuyumi would find out about it and she never got angry.

Possessions got lost all the time. To some people, it wasn't a big deal to replace them but he knew Hiroki wasn't one of those people. Hiroki kept anything broken until he could fix it. When it turned irreparable, he disposed of it properly or shoved it in a drawer. Although, this scarf was made by Hiroki's sick mother which of course had sentimental value. _Huge_ personal value.

Akihiko went toward the kitchen and looked through the cabinets. He moved the dishes and cups around and disappointment filled his body when he found nothing. Afterwards, he checked the fridge and found it almost empty. Void of fresh food. He saw cans of beer and iced tea in the high shelves. He might remind Hiroki to get food later.

Hiroki stood up from his place on the ground and wandered back inside of his bedroom. He trashed the whole apartment looking for that scarf days prior and then he thought cleaning might help him find it. With his friend helping him out. It made the whole process easier. He was surprised Akihiko wanted to help him but he guessed Akihiko felt generous for once. Not that he questioned Akihiko, the man changed his mind when someone started questioning his intentions.

His eyebrows furrowed while he went to his wardrobe and checked the contents again. He rechecked the section where he kept his gloves and his scarves. He saw nothing yet again. Absolutely nothing. He sighed. Once he made sure to look through each inch, he closed the doors.

He muttered. "Maybe I took it along with me when I visited home and left it there by accident…then maybe it's not really lost. Although…mom would have called me to tell me that it was there in the first place."

Hiroki frowned as he checked around his bed and found a book that he needed for class. Throughout tossing his clothes and cleaning his home again, he thought he lost it. He tossed it onto the bed as he moved the headboard aside and looked inside. All he found were dust bunnies and maybe some empty bags of junk food that he ate sometimes when he was studying at night.

He hastily grabbed the trash and threw them in the small trash bin inside of his room. He dumped some papers he didn't read anymore over them. Akihiko might wander in and comment on leaving empty food wrappers lying around. A hypocritical thing to say when the guy left his penthouse in such disarray.

Hiroki went through his drawers which contained his miscellaneous things and thought something went missing. Plenty of broken items which he ultimately forgot to toss out in the trash. He looked through the clutter and tried remembering what exactly he dumped in there. Nothing resurfaced and he sighed.

He shut it closed as he heard Akihiko walking down the hallway. The silver haired man walked past his room in a hurry. His eyes connected with Akihiko. Mentally asking him on any new news. The author shrugged his shoulders to say he had not found nothing. Hiroki nodded his head with a frown while he kept looking through his room.

Akihiko entered the bathroom and saw no red cloth anywhere in sight. He didn't need to really look inside since there was no possible way it resided in the bathroom. The space was smaller than his own apartment.

Akihiko caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. Grimacing, he brushed the dust from his shoulder. Not that it helped, the rest of his clothing got dirtied from all of the furniture he moved and the places he looked through. His hair was in such a disarray that he needed to wash it to remove every particle of dirt. He didn't feel like it.

He had done most of the search inside of Hiroki's apartment which was something he wouldn't do for anyone else. Takahiro and Hiroki were the only people he trusted in this world and he helped them whenever they asked him.

They rarely asked for his help to begin with anyway.

Akihiko decided to take a break as he went to Hiroki's kitchen and took out one of the last beers. Any complaints from Hiroki and he'd just buy him a pack to qualm his anger. Well, his annoyance

* * *

Hiroki gave up the search after ten minutes. Disillusioned, he went back into the living room with Akihiko, he told him with dismay lacing his voice. "Thanks for trying to help me Akihiko. Even with your help, we couldn't find it anywhere in this small place. Sorry for wasting your morning on this fruitless search."

Akihiko reached out his hand and ruffled Hiroki's hair in an attempt to comfort him. "At least we tried an extensive search Hiroki. Just tell Mama Fuyumi what happened to the scarf and she will understand. You know she won't get angry that it's somehow missing from your place."

Hiroki nodded his head as he smiled light. "Yeah…she knows I wouldn't lose it on purpose. I had a good six year run with that scarf so I guess that's a new record on my end. The last scarf I bought ended up lost after a week."

Akihiko smoothed down his wrinkly shirt, commenting with a smirk. "Your last one was an ugly looking thing. Be glad it went missing. I know I'm glad I never have to look at it again." Hiroki glared at Akihiko who gave up in fixing up his dirty shirt. "Before I forget, you should stock up on food. Your fridge is void of any edible food."

Hiroki sighed. "I might end up going to corner market once my tutoring session with Nowaki is over. Knowing him, he might keep on asking me questions until way past dark."

Speaking of Hiroki's student, Akihiko forgot about researching the kid. He might attempt it later on after some free time opened up. "How long does he stay here anyway? I'm not liking the fact he stays here longer than the usual standard time."

Hiroki calculated the usual amount of time, he answered. "Well…he stays around three hours…four if he is reading the material. Afterwards, I have to explain everything in detail for his notes."

"That is _way_ too long for a tutoring session. It's usually an hour, maybe even two if the student doesn't get shit."

Hiroki shrugged his shoulders. "Nowaki wants me to really get into detail since he wants to pass his tests. The kid is driven to actually succeed so it would be wrong of me not to help him properly. Besides, he doesn't waste my time with stupid questions."

Akihiko told him. "I find it odd that someone would want to spend that much time studying. I don't even go past two hours. For someone who has to work for a living, I can't believe he has this much time to spare. Are you sure you are not wasting your time on him?"

"Nah. I'm done tutoring the kid once his exams come around, then he won't need me anymore. He will remember my study methods since I drilled him the whole time he was here."

Akihiko sighed. "If he's going to be busy with his own studies afterwards, then he shouldn't be bothering you again." He checked the time on his watch as he frowned. "I better get going. I'm expected at Marukawa for another meeting. They want to talk to me about a possible sequel to the novel I gave them. Maybe even discussing the next type of novel I should be writing."

"Wait…you just finished a novel already and they want you to do another one? Let me guess, it's going to be a BL novel and Takahiro is going to be having trouble with your novel self?" He stared at Akihiko in amusement, he knew Aikawa always suggested new BL reading material for quicker releases in stores.

Akihiko poked Hiroki on the forehead, he said with a smirk. "You guessed my plot without even having to think about it. That's a pity, I wanted to surprise you this time."

Hiroki smirked right back at him. "Start writing about another couple and I might say something nice for once."

Akihiko bit the inside of his cheek when he remembered all of the compliments Hiroki told him while in his drunk stupor. He didn't know if Hiroki purposely forgot about those compliments or his mind blanked out everything while he slept.

Either way, he had no complaints. His friend was so much fun when he was drunk.

Hiroki noticed Akihiko suddenly went quiet and thought maybe Akihiko felt bad that he didn't say nice things more often. Takahiro complimented Akihiko every single time they saw each other so he didn't see the need to saw things which were obviously true.

He was sure Akihiko knew he loved anything he wrote since he was the one who edited them all the time. He read every single word to look for mistakes but he took extra time to really get a feel for the story. The fact that he even agreed to edit Akihiko's work should be a clear sign that he thinks highly of his friend.

Hiroki didn't feel the need to voice anything when his actions showed plenty enough.

Hiroki frowned as he poked Akihiko on the chest when he said. "Aren't you supposed to be heading off to Marukawa by now Akihiko?"

Akihiko chuckled. "Eager to get rid of me are you? How mean."

Hiroki arched a brow as he started pushing him to the door. "Whatever, don't call me and start complaining about Aikawa yelling at you again. I get enough of you calling me for sex positions to use in your novels."

Akihiko told him with a smirk. "I called for valid research purposes and I know you watch pornos when I am not here."

Hiroki hit Akihiko on the shoulder really hard and got satisfaction when he saw Akihiko flinching from the pain. "That's what you get! And you are the perv between the both of us Akihiko! You write those the damn perverted books to begin with!"

"Ah so you admit you are a pervert, that's good of you to admit it Hiroki. How very grown up of you." Akihiko walked away without a care in the world.

"I AM NOT A PERVERT!"

He put on his shoes as he looked back at Hiroki with an amused expression. "You are denying it so fiercely. It seems like you are admitting to my speculations." Akihiko loved pushing Hiroki's buttons, it was just too much fun.

Hiroki opened his mouth and then closed it as he gave Akihiko his deadliest glare. Yelling at Akihiko got him nowhere. The author managed to toss back any retorts with ease. He hated to admit that he wasn't as intimidating as his father. After so many years, he brought the fear in Akihiko.

Akihiko got back up on his feet as he ruffled Hiroki's hair. Hiroki growled as Akihiko smiled down at him. "Now don't get into any trouble while I am gone okay Hiroki?" He teased. "I want you to answer me whenever I call. The same goes for Takahiro."

Hiroki slapped his hand away. "I am NOT a child."

"Yeah yeah.." Akihiko said as he walked to the door and heard Hiroki muttering he was an ass.

He curled his hand around the doorknob as he turned to Hiroki. He told him with a grin. "Remember to go shopping, I don't want to find out you starved to death while I wasn't around."

Hiroki glared at him from his spot as he waved at Akihiko. "I know. Stop worrying so much, it's getting weird that you are caring enough to remind me of simple tasks."

Akihiko winked at him in jest and ran with his new nickname for his best friend. "Well you are my _brother_ , I need to look after you."

"Shut up weirdo." Hiroki motioned toward the door. "Get going before I kick your ass out."

Akihiko opened the door and almost bumped into someone. The young man in front of him had his fist up in the air. Almost as if he prepared himself to knock on the door. The tall stature and bright blue eyes stood out to Akihiko. He guessed a mix of another ethnicity, considering no full bloodied Japanese man was born with blue eyes. After thinking about it some more, it clicked on his mind, this was Hiroki's student.

Hiroki walked toward Akihiko when he stopped moving. He saw him standing at the door, frozen in place. Shuffling his dirty shirt, he patted down his messed up hair. He patted Akihiko's back and said. "What's wrong Akihiko? Did you suddenly forget something?" He peeked beyond Akihiko and saw Nowaki in front of them. "You're here too early Nowaki."

Akihiko turned to Hiroki, commenting with slight amusement in his tone. "You didn't tell me the guy was this huge Hiroki. He towers over you."

Hiroki said to Akihiko. "I don't need to give you descriptions of all the people I come into contact with Akihiko. Now hurry along before Aikawa comes here to fetch you. She knows where I live after she tracked you down from your last disaster."

Akihiko pointed out. "She wouldn't have known where you lived if you didn't answer the phone." He ruffled Hiroki's hair again as he walked out of Hiroki's apartment and Nowaki moved out of the way. "Don't silence my calls little sibling."

Hiroki exclaimed. "I'll do what I want! Nowaki get inside, we have work to do."

Nowaki glared at the back of the author. He hid his face from Hiroki's gaze as he walked through the door.

* * *

Nowaki settled on his usual spot. Putting on a cheerful smile, he ignored the scenarios running through his head. At first, the disheveled appearance of both Hiroki and Akihiko bothered him. He pushed aside the thought of them sleeping together. It brought on his sudden anger and he didn't want to confront Hiroki over speculations. Not when Akihiko called Hiroki his brother with a teasing tone. The former anxiety washed off of him and his mood skyrocketed. He wanted nothing more than to study alongside his beloved.

Shifting through his papers, he kept an eye on Hiroki's every move. His movements through placing his own school work on the table and putting the tutoring material on the other end of the table. Without any exchange of words, they settled in their usual tutoring routine. Hiroki asked him questions while Nowaki answered them. His heart fluttered at Hiroki's praise and he held back the urge to reach over the table to hold Hiroki in his arms.

He handed Hiroki another completed sheet of paper and he went onto the next one. Nerves built up inside of him. The interest in his current major dissipated. Social workers did enough to help people but he wanted to go beyond those limitations. The money didn't matter to him, not when he went with little in his pocket for most of his life.

He found that a doctor poured their soul into helping people. His last visit to the hospital got him to see a doctor calming down his patient. A nervous girl who relaxed due to the amazing tricks of the doctor. He imagined himself in that exact spot.

He feared Hiroki's reaction of his change of major.

"Looks like you're all set for your exams. You know everything in these packets and you made no more mistakes. I'm impressed." Hiroki shut down his laptop and inspected Nowaki's work. "You don't really need me to show you what do anymore."

Nowaki shook his head and insisted. "I will always need you. This motivation I have came out of fruition because of you. You encouraged me to go through my exams and not to procrastinate from my studies. All this work happened through your help."

Hiroki shrugged his shoulders. "You're the one who retained the information and passed these mock tests. I just showed you how to harness your potential. You have a bright mind Nowaki and you can accomplish so much."

Nowaki gulped. "I need to apologize before I have to say this to you."

Hiroki chugged down his water. "It must be serious...out with it."

"I don't want to be in social work."

" _What?_ "

"I want to be a doctor."

Hiroki almost knocked his water from the table but he caught it on time. "You have got to be kidding me." He crumpled a piece of paper in his hands. "You're switching majors?"

Nowaki nodded his head. "I- I thought about this throughout the weekend and I want to go into medicine. I see myself as a doctor. Social work isn't my passion anymore."

Hiroki slammed his hand onto the table, Nowaki tried not to flinch. "How dare you switch on me now?! Do you have any idea how many hours I spent going through those archives to get you the material for social work? Why didn't you tell me months ago? We would have focused on sciences and the subjects needed for medicine. You're this close to your exams!"

Nowaki insisted. "I'll complete my usual material and then transfer into medical school."

"Medical school is hard. Way harder than any profession out there. Are you even sure you can even complete the program?" Hiroki asked.

"I will complete the programs."

"Yeah right." Hiroki snorted. "I'm not saying you are not capable. Far from it, your memory is impeccable but you're working to the bone to even make it into community college next semester."

"You're mad at me."

Hiroki sighed. "I can't be mad. At least you figured this out before you went through the classes for social work. All I can do is wish you the best of luck. Law school is hard but medical school is brutal."

Nowaki walked around the table and crouched in front of Hiroki. "Are you sure? You're not annoyed that I wasted your time."

"I'm not irritated." Hiroki arched a brow.

Leaning closer, Nowaki connected their lips. Plunging his tongue in between Hiroki's gaping mouth, he almost slobbered through the kiss. His lack of practice showed but this didn't slow down his enthusiasm. He relished locking lips with Hiroki while conscious. He dreamed of his moment throughout the weeks of tutoring. Wanting nothing more than to hold Hiroki in his arms and show off the love he held for him.

He pushed him onto the ground and rubbed their hips together. Bringing him to sigh and whimper into the kiss. Hiroki moved underneath him, he misinterpreted it as Hiroki enjoying this as well. His hands touched any inch of Hiroki's body. He paid close attention to any revealed naked skin when Hiroki's shirt rose up his chest. He broke the kiss to focus on Hiroki's smooth neck.

Hiroki broke from his stupor. He smacked Nowaki's cheek and pushed him off of him with his feet. Sitting up, he shuffled away from Nowaki until his back hit the wall. "What the _fuck_ was that?!" He wiped his mouth with his sleeve, his eyes widened in shock.

Nowaki ignored the stinging of his cheek. No use hiding his emotions anymore. "Hiro-san, I love you." Nowaki touched his lips as he confessed in longing. "I-I love you." Gulping, he got on his knees and gripped the front of his shirt. "I don't want to stop seeing you. This can't be the end."

Hiroki swore inside of his head as he scrubbed his mouth. He missed any vital signs of Nowaki's growing affection. How could he have known? The guy presented a nice and positive vibe where he connected with anyone. He caught him talking with plenty of people at his job at the flower shop. Admirers stopped around and flirted with him. A number of pickings for a date or a partner. He never suspected Nowaki of thinking of him in such a way.

Nowaki continued on kneeling across from him. His head hung low and his hands gripping the material of his jeans. Hiroki thought Nowaki's feelings were nothing more than a crush. A small form of adoration after spending continual time with him. The both of them together in an apartment while getting to know one another. Nowaki used his free time just for the tutoring sessions. Nothing else.

Biting his bottom lip, Hiroki stood up on his feet. "I hold no such feelings for you." Hiroki stated. "I'm sorry but I cannot return your feelings. This is just a student and teacher relationship."

Nowaki lifted his head when he inquired, a bite to his tone. "You're in love with your friend aren't you?"

Hiroki furrowed his brows. "No. I'm not in love with anyone. School is eating up my focus and I can't focus on anyone else's needs."

"I saw the way you looked at him. You want him."

Hiroki's eyes widened at Nowaki's harshness. He chose to ignore it considering he rejected the poor guy. "I reiterate, I'm not in love with anyone. Besides, I have other issues to worry about than love. Now, this session is over. You can come back tomorrow and we will resume at the same hour."

Nowaki stood up and said. "Please, don't end it right now. I didn't mean to make this uncomfortable but-"

Hiroki pointed at the clock. "You will be late for work if you don't go right now. I'll see you _tomorrow._ "

"But...sure. I'll come back tomorrow." Nowaki tried not to cry at Hiroki dismissing his feelings, he held it together on the outside. He thought for sure that Hiroki wanted their relationship to go up to another level.

"Good. I'm sure you can let yourself out now." Hiroki said as he made his way toward the bathroom. "Lock the door on your way out."

Nowaki remained still. He stared at the direction Hiroki walked toward and he replayed the last few minutes inside of his mind. His heart turned heavy. Time stopped. The illusions of a relationship with Hiroki shattered before his eyes. He saw him as nothing more than a student. Hiroki would never accept his feelings.

His happiness diminished.

Withering away into nothing.

Hiroki turned on the shower, breaking the silence of the apartment.

A thought came in Nowaki's mind as he passed the bathroom. Careful in making his footsteps as light as possible. Hiroki's bedroom door remained wide open. The light from the outside streetlights illuminated the room. More than enough for him to make out the furniture in the vicinity.

Nowaki yanked the wardrobe door open and searched for the photo album. When he saw it, he picked it up and shook it around. A napkin containing the locket fell onto the ground. He snatched it up from the ground before shoving the album back in its place. Hurrying through the apartment, he checked for any sign of Hiroki. He heard the falling water from the bathroom. The shower blocked any noises outside of the bathroom.

He put on his shoes before he walked out the door and shut it behind him. The hallway was void of anyone. His lips lifted into a small smirk as he touched the locket inside of his pocket.

_The butterfly is mine. For now._

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Despite his reservations, Hiroki let himself take in a new student. A young man with bright blue eyes and a smile which brightened up the room. Intelligent and kind. The moment he agreed, he had no way of knowing of the repercussions of his actions.

Fuyumi browsed through the women's section while groups of young ladies chattered over a new outfit. They moved onto another pre-made outfit on the mannequin. She entered this exact store due to the adorable dresses and fancy peacoats she might buy for herself. The oncoming chilly months always brought a wave of sickness. She didn't want to end up in the hospital due to a small cold. Her husband would bundle her up from the first sniffle. She needed to get out more often on her own terms.

She gripped the strap of her purse while she held her phone to her ear. Her red lips pursed into a small smile. As she listened to her son, she peeked at another long skirt which reached toward her knees. He voiced his concern over a young man he tutored throughout the months. A variety of reasons surfaced and she thought she heard a tone of worry. An explanation of this certain guy having a multiple amount of jobs came about.

Fuyumi gave a sound of having heard Hiroki before he continued on. He didn't give a name to this young man in particular. She didn't mind. Not like she would meet this person in her life anyway.

She let out a sigh. "It might be that one day sweetheart. Have you tried talking to him."

**"Mom, he had a serious streak in applying to college. Hours upon hours of studying and work went into preparing him for his tests. He should be on top of his responsibilities and call me. Forgetting about me just pissed me off more than anything else."**

"That's certainly true or..." She stared at a knitted sweater in front of her view, she cringed at the work on the sleeves. "Did you say something might offend him? I distinctly remember that the last young man quit on you because you worked him a little too hard."

**"It was nothing too serious...he knew my strictness when he came over to my place. I talked to him about how I tutored others before he agreed."**

"I'm sure everything will work out just fine. From what you have told me, he is an exceptional student correct?"

**"He wasted none of my time. In fact, he did well on his practice tests and completed all his work without a fuss."**

"I'm sure there is nothing to worry about. He might have gotten a surge of work hours and fell asleep when he returned home. Trust me, there are tiring days where you don't want to do much."

**"What the- I'm not worried about him! I have other things on my mind that take greater importance."**

Fuyumi chuckled. "In the last fifteen minutes, you have talked about no one else but this young man. You're concerned about his well being."

**"Because I don't understand why the idiot skipped on me! I canceled an important study session to tutor this kid and he never showed up!"**

"Now, there's no need to get huffy on me." Fuyumi teased him as she peeked toward the men's section, catching sight of a nice blazer, she wanted to see it up close. "I'm curious. How much homework do you have this week?"

Hiroki answered her. **"After this week, it will be a lot less. A few weeks ago, I had a few papers to complete and I wrote down the wrong deadline."**

The amount surprised her, knowing her son, he took no breaks until he completed everything on his list. "I never knew you took on such a huge workload of schoolwork Hiro-chan." She fiddled with the butterfly pin in her hair as she stared at a mannequin which wore a white lace dress. "Have you taken some breaks?"

**"I don't think so...wow I actually don't remember my last break."**

"Hiro-chan!" Fuyumi raised her voice, she imagined him hunching his shoulders in embarrassment. "You should take regular breaks before you collapse from exhaustion. I walk around the compound whenever I feel overwhelmed! Even your father takes a break every few hours."

**"I know, I know, I'd rather get everything done before I get too distracted."**

She rubbed the bridge of her nose. "Please…please…take some breaks. Knowing you might collapse while I'm not around will make me worry. You know how much I think about you and your father."

**"Sorry…"**

"Promise me that you will take some breaks at least?"

**"Yes, I will take a few after this phone call. I was wondering…are you feeling okay to walk around the stores by yourself mom?"**

"Don't worry about me Hiro-chan, just eat something. I know you don't eat once you focus on something." Fuyumi giggled as she put back a red and white striped sweater on the rack.

**"I'm eating grapes right now if that counts."**

Fuyumi smiled lightly, she stood in front of a mannequin near the male section and looked at the long sun dress. "Sweetheart, go out and eat some lunch. Your paper is not going anywhere and it will be there once you return okay?"

She imagined the pout on her son's face as she chuckled. **"Alright…I'm going to have to go to the ramen shop down the street. I'll talk to you later okay mom?"**

"Of course! I'll call you later sweetheart, stay safe and I love you."

**"I love you too mom…"**

Hiroki hung up on her as Fuyumi found the coat she wanted but it was too high up. She observed the area and saw the salespeople helping other customers. Most of them in the left side of the store. She didn't locate the hook used to pull down clothing.

She jumped slightly when a young man appeared at her side. He reached up for the coat and grabbed it from the rack. Holding it to her level, he handed it to her with a gentle smile on his face.

Fuyumi gave him a smile of her own when she told him. "Thank you so much young man." She put out her hand when she introduced herself without suspecting anything amiss. "I'm Fuyumi Kamijou."

The taller young man gripped her hand and shook it without any force. He told her. "I'm Nowaki Kusama, it's a pleasure to meet you."

* * *

Nowaki sighed while picking up a t-shirt from the rack. His thoughts wandered back toward Hiroki. He pictured the furious expression on Hiroki's face over missing their last tutoring session. After getting a rejection of a lifetime, his mood went downhill and he felt no need to sit in front of Hiroki as if nothing occurred. The utter humiliation of Hiroki pushing him away did a number on his ego.

He carried the shirt on his arm while he checked out another one. Next, he had to buy some jeans before he left the store then went back home. This was the first time in weeks that he was able to come to the store. His part time jobs required his free time and his chores went into disarray. He tossed away ripped up clothing so new clothing was in order.

A sigh escaped his lips, his hands clenched into tight fists. Life did a number on him and he thought he acquired something worth his struggles. All the work he put into meeting Hiroki for those tutoring sessions and completing all his work gave him no results. All of it was for nothing.

The man he loved didn't want him but that wasn't going to stop him. If anything, it fueled his desire to get Hiroki to fall for him even more. No one and nothing was going to get in the way of his happiness.

Nowaki neared the corner of the male section with a few articles of clothing. He sighed as rubbed the back of his neck and felt his muscles tense from the construction work he did yesterday. His muscles were more defined because of the work and the extra stares he got on the street proved it.

He wished Hiroki stared at him like those other people. His hand grabbed onto his shirt tightly as his jaw clenched, the only person he wanted such expressions from were from Hiroki, not anyone else. He needed him to kiss him, to caress his body, to have Hiroki staring at him with a love stricken expression on his face, for both of them to be stupidly in love with each other. To have someone who he can call his family, Hiroki would fill the void in his heart and finally have something he always wanted in his life.

He knew he was being selfish but he allowed himself this one gesture. Years of placing others before him developed resentments. He deserved to be happy like all of the other couples he saw when he walked home exhausted from work. Nowaki heard comments from all his coworkers that he could get anyone he wanted if he put in the effort. Yet, he only wanted one person, Hiroki Kamijou. No one else was going to cut it.

Nowaki's hand loosened as he heard the jingle of the locket in his pocket. A small smile appeared on his face when he reached into his pocket and touched it. The cool gold heart was one of his many reminders of Hiroki and he wanted to add the real person to his collection.

When he read the inscription inside of the locket, he realized it was a nickname from Hiroki's childhood. His heart swelled slightly at imagining Hiroki's mother telling her son this nickname and he would blush ever so slightly because he was in front of other people. He would pout and say he wasn't a butterfly because he was a boy, not a girl. Either way, the manner the locket was hidden, inside of a soft handkerchief meant Hiroki enjoyed hearing the nickname from his mother. His ailing loving mother.

The locket looked particularly expensive and the engravings weren't messy, other than the wear from having it for so many years, it was almost in pristine condition. He would take care of it the same way under his care, he wasn't going to let it rust on his watch. When he inspected the locket, he found a small picture behind the paper and he saw a newborn in the arms of an exhausted looking woman with a smiling man by her side.

Nowaki realized it was Hiroki when he was just a newborn and the pair were his parents. He didn't know why he didn't get it sooner since he saw their image in Hiroki's photo album not too long ago. The stern man in traditional clothing who held his gentle woman in his arms. He knew his aching heart had him imagining Hiroki and no one else.

He took a few steps from the men's section of the store when he was blindsided. Hiroki's mother was a few feet away from him. The beauty he saw in the photo paled in comparison to the real woman herself. He noticed she stared at a coat too high for her small stature and how the other employees were busy with other customers. Nowaki carefully walked to her side and picked up the coat with ease, not noticing she jumped slightly at his sudden presence.

He handed it to her and he saw her green eyes brightening slightly at his help. She thanked him and introduced herself, the name Fuyumi Kamijou was engraved inside of his head. He couldn't forget the name of his future mother-in-law after all. He gulped when he gave her his name and she didn't seem suspicious of him at all.

Nowaki felt some relief, it seemed Hiroki didn't talk about him to his parents. Although, it stung him a bit but it meant he could gather information without a problem. "It was no problem, Kamijou-san, it would take while to get the attention of the employees when more and more people are coming inside."

Fuyumi chuckled. "I did take notice of this when I found this coat, but I didn't want to bother those ladies while they were helping someone else." She looked at the mauve colored coat when she said. "I might need to buy a coat for my husband, I found one which suits him well. He doesn't wear any other color but black when it comes to coats."

Nowaki smiled lightly when he said. "Your husband must be lucky to have such a thoughtful wife by his side."

Fuyumi waved her hand as she grinned. "I am used to getting him whatever he needs from the store. For such a busy man, he forgets that he is on his last pair of socks. I end up having to buy them for him and sneak them in the drawer. That especially goes to my only son."

"Your son?" Nowaki inquired with feign curiosity as he shuffled his shirts on his other arm.

Fuyumi smiled big when she said. "His name is Hiroki. At the moment, he is busy with university. I miss having him back home but I knew he had to leave us someday. He recently told me that he is buried under homework that I am surprised he hasn't collapsed yet. I really worry about him sometimes."

"He sounds like a really amazing person." Nowaki said as he saw her loving expression when she talked about her son. She really loved her son so much. When she spoke of her husband, she had the same expression on her face.

"He really is amazing, he took on so many extra-curricular activities as a child. I told him he could quit some of them so he could have a rest but he is stubborn to the point where he takes more than he can handle." She chuckled as she tucked a stray hair behind her ear. "But he slowly got out of them under the pretext that he needed to study more but he was good enough at piano that he didn't need the lessons anymore."

Nowaki stored all of his information inside of his mind for future references. "You must be really proud of him Kamijou-san, I'm sure he will do real amazing things in the future. Having such a work ethic at a young age shows his determination for his goals."

Fuyumi told him. "I just want him to be happy more than anything." She touched her wedding ring when she said. "I don't know if he will find someone to love but my son is at a different pace than when I was his age. You see, I was already married to my husband and pregnant with Hiroki. I know he isn't looking for anyone at the moment. He knows when I tease him about a lover I mean it in good nature, I am not rushing him to go with someone because I say so."

Nowaki was entranced at what she said and took it to heart. He would slow down his pace a bit but he was going to make a man who would be perfect for Hiroki in the future. Right now, he was on the right track toward that point and he would plan his manner in gaining Hiroki to be his lover. Despite the rejection, Hiroki would love him in the end. It would have made him happier if Hiroki came around someday.

For now, all he had to do was plan everything as he achieved his goals.

Fuyumi smiled. "It would be absolutely lovely if he introduced us to someone. Whenever he is ready of course. I'm sure the person who captures my son's heart will be a very kind person."

Nowaki nodded his head and he couldn't help but smile along with her. Her smile was just so infectious that he had to smile when she showed her perfect white teeth.

"I'm sure he will, in this world, everything is a possibility."

"That it is." Fuyumi said as she checked the time on her phone. "I should go to the register now after getting my husband's coat, I have half an hour before I have to meet him for lunch. I'm surprised he hasn't called me to check up on me."

Nowaki didn't want her to stop talking but if he tried keeping her around then he would seem rude. He didn't want to be rude in front of Hiroki's mother and he would have plenty of chances to talk to her in the future, he was sure of it.

She took off a black coat from the hanger when he told her . "Then I should be going as well, I need to go grocery shopping after this. I have a lot of errands to run."

Fuyumi noticed he hurried up on grabbing a pair of pants from the hanger. "I know I talked way too much, sorry about that. Once someone breaches the topic of my family I end up babbling about them."

Nowaki picked up a turtleneck from the nearest rack of clothes. "Not at all, it is really nice hearing a mother talk about her child. I can tell you really love him so much."

"Well I can't help myself, he is my only child." Fuyumi said as she put the coat back and checked another size. "I hope to see you again Kusama-san."

Nowaki smiled big at her declaration. He toned down his enthusiasm before she grew suspicious about him. "I hope so as well Kamijou-san." He went toward the register with new found determination.

Hiroki's beloved mother liked him, eventually he would need to get Hiroki's father to be on his side and then…Hiroki would come around to like him too.

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Despite his reservations, Hiroki let himself take in a new student. A young man with bright blue eyes and a smile which brightened up the room. Intelligent and kind. The moment he agreed, he had no way of knowing of the repercussions of his actions.

A figure stood right beside Hiroki's bed as the moonlight peeked through the curtains. His blue eyes stared at the outline of Hiroki's body, thin blankets hugged his body. The change of humidity of springtime caused Hiroki to exchange his sheets and comforter. Most of the time, Hiroki slept in pajamas but in hotter weather, he slept in boxers. Hiroki's skin was exposed for his viewing pleasure.

He reached out and moved a lock of Hiroki's disheveled hair to the side. The scent of Hiroki's cinnamon scented shampoo reached his nose as he gently touched the soft locks of hair he longed to caress. The fantasy of waking up next to him consumed his mind. His hand flinched back when Hiroki murmured in his sleep and shifted slightly so he was facing the shadow.

A smile broke on the man's face as he fought the urge to lay right beside the man. After so many years, his feelings strengthened. There were times he tried to forget about Hiroki but then he would feel awful in doubting his feelings. This man would become his lover.

He took a step back as he checked the time on the alarm clock beside Hiroki's bed. It was 4:56 in the morning, he had plenty of time to watch his beloved sleep before he rushed out the door before Hiroki's first alarm blasted at 6:50 and then again at 7:00.

He would love to wake him up with kisses where the grumpiness dissipated. The risk prevented him from acting this fantasy out. After so many years of tailing Hiroki, finding his new place, and managing to discreetly gather more treasures made him confident in his skills. Not too comfortable. He knew Hiroki's schedule and watched him make it to work on time.

Whenever he left the apartment, he stayed at a safe distance. He saw Hiroki running out of his apartment complex while trying to button up his jacket and tried not to spill his tumbler full of fresh brewed coffee onto himself. It was comical to say the least and it brought a level of joy before he had to leave for his job at the hospital.

It made going to his long hour shifts at the hospital bearable. He loved his job but he tolerated a lot more things when he caught a glimpse of Hiroki the day before or carried that precious locket in his pocket. His beloved brought him strength.

He blew Hiroki a kiss, wording his goodbye instead of whispering it like last time. Carefully making his way out of the bedroom, he went through the apartment to the front door. Making sure he didn't disturb anything, he opened the door and silently made his way out of the apartment.

Kissing his fingertips, he touched the door before he closed it shut and left the apartment complex without anyone noticing his presence.

* * *

Hiroki relaxed in his seat on the bus as he let out a deep sigh. He caught his breath and checked his bag. The small box containing Akihiko's present remained nestled in between the papers he needed to grade. There was no time to change his clothes back home so he headed straight to Akihiko's apartment. He already expected drinking at this get together. On their birthdays, they let themselves drink and crash at Akihiko's place. He might limit himself just to get home in one piece.

He managed to hide Akihiko's present from Miyagi since the guy snooped in his business. His office mate might comment on why he thought about giving a guy a watch. Hiroki had no patience to have questions asked to him. It took him days to figure out what to get Akihiko for his birthday. Having Miyagi badger him on topics outside of work didn't work for him.

He had a headache when he gave Takahiro his present for his birthday which turned out to be a cologne. The scent fit the man perfectly. Light but strong enough to evoke his masculinity. Something Takahiro's girlfriend enjoyed.

When he searched for Akihiko's gift, he managed to find it at a moderately good price which didn't break his bank account. He went grocery shopping afterwards and his fridge was stocked with food so he wouldn't _starve_ according to Akihiko.

He heard the bus driver announce the street they almost passed on the intercom. The bus stopped and Hiroki stood up from his seat. Before walking to the door, he made sure everything was in his bag. He put his bag over his shoulder as he walked out of the bus when it made a complete stop. Walking down the street, the large apartment complex Akihiko lived in appeared in sight.

When Akihiko first moved into the place, it was absolutely spotless without Akihiko's junk taking up that vast amount of space. At least, it was still habitable to some degree but he knew Akihiko was lazy, tired, or gave no shits in cleaning his apartment.

Hiroki grew used to Akihiko's unusual habits since they were kids. It wasn't his place to lecture him anyway, he sometimes left stacks of books in his apartment and forgot about them until he tripped over them when he wasn't thinking. In the middle of the night, he fell but the softness of the couch saved him from his fall.

He hurried down the street when he heard his cell phone ringing in his pocket. The ring tone he set for this number meant that Takahiro called him, maybe to ask his exact location. He would have answered the call but he already entered the building. No need to waste his time.

Hiroki went inside of the elevator and scratched the back of his head as he stared at his reflection on the elevator doors. He felt completely alone for the first time in days. He brought it up sometimes with Akihiko. The usual thoughts of remaining without any meaning to his life. He was met with Akihiko telling him that he worked too hard.

He frowned when he saw the dark circles under his eyes, maybe he did need a break to get himself together. Months prior, he was sick with a cold which went away after a week but it screwed up his sleeping schedule for the semester. There were days when he woke later than usual and he barely made it to Mitsuhashi before his class started.

He grumbled. "I don't need Miyagi or Akihiko commenting on my impending wrinkles or these bags under my eyes." He poked his forehead when he said. "Hopefully mom's youthful appearance transferred over to me…or at least aging gracefully like father would be nice."

The doors of the elevator opened as he walked out before the doors attempted to close on him. He made it to Akihiko's apartment and knocked on the door.

Hiroki counted three seconds before the door opened. He stared into Takahiro's cheerful eyes which seemed to only become brighter when he looked at him. He didn't know how it was remotely possible but Takahiro spread out positivity. More than enough for their trio.

Takahiro gave Hiroki a bone crushing hug the moment he stepped foot inside of the apartment. "Hiro-chan! It has been so long since I have seen you! Why didn't you answer my phone call?!"

Usually, Hiroki pushed Takahiro away since he wasn't used to hugs from anyone other than his parents and his mother's family members. Then again, time passed since he saw him so he let Takahiro cling to him. Takahiro even rubbed their cheeks together. One whiff of his breath and Hiroki found out Takahiro started drinking. He located Akihiko walking toward them with an amused smile on his face and Hiroki stuck his tongue out.

Akihiko chuckled. "You are not drunk yet and you are already acting childish, don't tell me you started drinking without us."

"Piss off Akihiko." Hiroki said as Takahiro patted his back before he let him out of his embrace. "And to answer your question Takahiro, I was already in the building when you called me so I didn't think I needed to answer you. Sorry about that."

Takahiro grinned when he told Hiroki. "I was growing worried since you arrive early to our little get togethers. I wanted to know where you were before I started looking for you."

Akihiko blew some smoke when he said in a teasing tone. "Alert us when you are going to be late Hiroki, you know how much we worry about you."

"Yeah yeah yeah, I'll make sure to reassure you on every single second toward the moment I step foot in this apartment next time." Hiroki said sarcastically as Takahiro chuckled at both of them.

His best friends always knew how to entertain him.

* * *

Takahiro handed Hiroki a beer while he set down a platter of snacks for them to eat. Akihiko lounged on his couch with his over sized bear at his size. Hiroki and Takahiro showed more surprise when Akihiko _didn't_ have a bear by his side or forgot to lit a cigarette.

Hiroki popped the can open as he took a long swig and relaxed onto the couch. He placed his bag right beside him and didn't notice it tipped over, spilling some of his papers on the couch.

Takahiro was already on his second beer but snacked on some chips as he talked with Akihiko. He grinned when he told Akihiko a ridiculous joke and the author shook his head in amusement. When the cheesy jokes rolled around, Akihiko and Hiroki knew Takahiro started singing after the fifth beer.

Hiroki hoped Takahiro wasn't in a romantic mood and didn't start serenading Suzuki-san like last time. He cursed himself for not having recorded it. After the second song, Akihiko joined Takahiro just to get a reaction out of the stuffed animal.

Takahiro turned to Hiroki, he asked with his usual grin. "So how's everything going at work Hiro-chan?"

Hiroki shrugged his shoulders as he gulped some more beer. "It's okay. Besides the usual complaining of my students and my superior being an ass a good portion of the time, it's not so bad."

Akihiko blew another line of smoke when he commented. "I don't know how you deal with those brats, if I was in your place I would have gone crazy a long time ago."

Takahiro chuckled. "There are just some people who are good for the position and Hiro-chan is so passionate about books that I know it will rub off on his students."

Hiroki doubted his students appreciated the power of books. Since childhood, he loved reading and creating his own stories in his head. He had a collection which rivaled a library in his new apartment and ran out of room already.

Although, if some of his students gained knowledge and a love of books then it was worth it.

Hiroki placed his beer on the table. "Either way, there are harder professors at Mitsuhashi so it's a waste for them to complain about me."

Akihiko snickered. "This coming from the famed 'Demon Kamijou'." Hiroki glared at him. "Don't think I don't hear the rumors going around that place whenever I go over there. The first time I asked where your office was located, the student in question barely stuttered out the directions."

Hiroki grabbed a pillow and threw it at Akihiko who dodged it just in time.

Takahiro inquired in curiosity. "Demon Kamijou? Why would they call you that Hiro-chan?"

Hiroki's cheeks went slightly red when he said. "It's a nickname the students call me after I started my first semester at Mitsuhashi. They think I don't know about it but my office mate is a blabber mouth. That's how I found out. I gave them no reason to think I was an easy teacher and apparently I am a _demon_ to these brats."

Akihiko smirked. "It's pretty entertaining when I ask for you Hiroki, every single student has a different reaction to your name."

Takahiro tilted his head. "But you don't seem scary to me Hiro-chan."

"All I do is enforce my rules and give a level of work suited for literature. I don't care about the nickname anyway. At the end of the day, it doesn't suit me." Hiroki snorted as he grabbed a handful of chips and ate them. "Besides, my father is scarier than I will ever be and you can't deny that Takahiro."

Takahiro chuckled nervously. "Yeah..I think I caught him on a bad day the last time I came to your house when we were in high school. He was screaming into the phone over a delayed proposal for something…It really left an impression on me."

Akihiko laughed as he put out his cigarette. "It gets easier once you get lectured by him pretty often, after a while you get used to it."

Hiroki rolled his eyes. "Only because you manage to piss him off all the time, even I know better than to purposely anger my father."

Akihiko huffed as he wrapped an arm around Suzuki-san. "You are almost as mean as he is…I need a hug."

Takahiro smiled as he pulled Akihiko into a loose embrace as both of them chortled.

Hiroki chugged the rest of his beer as he threw it inside the plastic bag on the floor. He opened up another beer and enjoyed the taste without chugging it down like his first one. Akihiko always stocked on pretty good beer when they all hung out together.

Takahiro separated from Akihiko's side in favor of hooking his arm around Hiroki's shoulders. He sat right next to him as he set his beer on the table while keeping a smile on his face.

Hiroki stared at him with a suspicious look on his face and then he saw Takahiro showing the peace sign. He turned to his left and saw Akihiko holding up his phone with a smirk on his face.

"C'mon Hiroki, smile for us."

Takahiro insisted, "Yes, Hiro-chan! Smile!"

Hiroki was trapped in Takahiro's grip while Akihiko held the camera. He let out a sigh, his friends wouldn't give up unless he at least had a slight appearance of a smile. Every single time they hung out with each other, he managed to escape the photos and left before he got too drunk to remember even taking pictures with his friends.

It looked like he couldn't escape this time, he would let them have their picture if it meant they wouldn't bother him for another one next time.

A slight smile formed on Hiroki's face as Takahiro wrapped both of his arms around Hiroki and grinned along with him. Akihiko chuckled as he took the picture and then walked over to the sofa and sat on the free spot right next to Hiroki.

"What the hell are you doing Akihiko?" Hiroki asked. "You got your picture."

Akihiko said, "Isn't it obvious? I am going to be in the picture with you two."

Takahiro gushed. "This is the first time we have taken a group photo since high school! I want a copy of it Usagi-chan!"

"Of course, I'll have copies for each one of us." Akihiko said as he pressed his cheek against Hiroki's face and Takahiro did the same. "You better not throw it away Hiroki."

Hiroki rolled his eyes as he looked into the camera when he declared. "No I won't."

Akihiko pressed the button as they all grinned for the photo.

After the photo was done, Hiroki remembered Akihiko's gift as he got himself out of Takahiro and Akihiko's grip. They stared at him in surprise as Hiroki grabbed his bag and dug out the small box from the bottom of his papers.

He handed it to Akihiko and stated with a frown. "Here's your gift, don't complain that it isn't fancy Akihiko."

Akihiko chuckled as he opened the box. He was surprised to see the watch that he looked at when he was out one day with Hiroki. It was a simple silver watch with elegant designs throughout the strap. The simplicity of the watch caught his attention and the silver color. It wasn't gaudy like the watches he saw the Usami family members wear on their wrists.

He was touched that Hiroki paid attention and bought this watch for him. Sure he could have bought it himself but Hiroki must have noticed him staring at it when they were walking toward his car.

Takahiro was in awe of the watch as he commented. "It looks great Hiro-chan! You always know what gifts to give us, I still have some of the cologne you gave me, it just smells amazing."

Hiroki felt some pride swell up inside of him that he didn't screw up the gifts this year. He tried to get hints from his friends whenever he was with them or the things that they looked at when they wandered through the stores. He loved seeing the smiles on their faces when they opened their gifts.

Akihiko pulled Hiroki into a loose embrace as he said. "Thank you, Hiroki. I love it."

Hiroki patted his back as he hid the smile on his face. "You're welcome."

Akihiko let him go as he took off the watch he had on his wrist and put on Hiroki's gift. "And it's exactly the right time too, you really _are_ considerate Hiroki."

Hiroki hit Akihiko's arm playfully. "As if I would give you a watch without the right time on it, you dumb ass."

* * *

A few hours later, Hiroki left Akihiko's apartment but not before he got pulled into a group hug. Takahiro gave him one of his usual bone crushing hugs while Akihiko ruffled his hair. He declined Akihiko's offer to drive him home since the author was stinking drunk. He wasn't going to risk them getting into an accident or get pulled over by the cops.

The last time they were stopped by the cops, Akihiko managed to weasel them out of a ticket but the man's persuasion skills deteriorated when he was wasted. There was no way he was going to jail because of carelessness.

Hiroki gripped his bag full of papers tightly as he swayed slightly and he felt the effects of the alcohol in his system. He rubbed his eyes while walking through the somewhat busy street. Easily dodging the people, he avoided the ones who visibly seemed like trouble. The drunk business men who left the bard bumped into him but continued on their way.

Hiroki stopped when he felt someone watching him again. He shivered. After so many years, he couldn't pin point where the feeling of being watched came from. He tried talking to Akihiko about it but his claims were dismissed. Takahiro almost showed the same reaction until news of burglaries reached the news. Now, he wanted him to text him whenever he left a location. Just to appease him, he complied with his request.

He had kendo training since he was a child where he knew how to defend himself. The worry of being defenseless left him but who knew what type of training this person had under their belt.

Despite having this training, he had not practiced in years since he entered university. He might fight someone off but his muscle strength went down after lack of practice. Now that he worked full time, all he managed to do was piano or swimming and even those activities were rare.

He shivered as he rubbed his arms, telling himself that he was just cold. The alcohol made him feel this way, not someone who might be watching his every move like some sort of stalker. He hastily turned a corner into an almost empty street, this person wouldn't follow him all the way to his apartment.

His phone chimed as Hiroki jumped and froze on the spot at the sudden noise. He took out his phone and saw that it was Akihiko who sent him a text. Hiroki frowned at being scared so easily as he opened the message and the group photo he took with his friends appeared on the screen.

Hiroki smiled as he sent a copy of the photo to his email. He didn't want to risk losing it if he lost his phone. He lost his phone more often than his oldest book. Besides, Akihiko said he was going to print a solid copy to keep. This was a safety precaution. Putting his phone back in his pocket, Hiroki resumed walking.

He felt grateful that his home came closer and closer the more he hurried up. He wanted to escape the gaze. All he was going to do was fall asleep in the comfort of his own bed and leave his grading for the next day. He would sober himself up with hot bitter coffee without sugar and have a relaxing shower in the morning.

The thought of his warm bed made him hurry up in the street, panic filled his body when he thought he saw someone in the shadows following him. He held his bag strap in death grip while he kept looking over his shoulder and all of his surroundings, he would only relax when he made it home.

His home was his safe haven. He was on the second floor. No one would break into his home without causing a commotion. He felt so confident in this fact that he only used one lock on his door and not the extra one provided. His paranoia caused him to rethink this careless notion.

Suddenly, Hiroki tripped over a rock on the sidewalk. He cursed out loud as he took two steps onto the road and saw the bright lights of an oncoming car. He felt he was frozen in time as his bag fell on the ground, scattering all the papers he was supposed to grade the next day. His eyes widened as he felt the impact of the car on his side as he fell backwards onto the ground.

He saw black spots in his vision as he barely made out the driver getting out of his car to look him over. Different parts of his body throbbed in pain, especially the back of his head. Everything hurt. The man visibly panicked as he quickly got back into his car and quickly drove into the distance. The squealing of the wheels ringed in Hiroki's ears while he tried to move to the side but pain filled his body.

Hiroki heard his heartbeat clear in his ears, he tried figuring out where he was located but he couldn't think through the pain. He remembered his closeness to his home but the blacked out street provided no visible road signs. After what seemed forever, Hiroki passed out from the agony. His blood seeped through his clothes and his hair, painting the road with red.

A tall figure ran out of the shadows, gathering the now blood stained papers and shoving them into the bag. Hooking the bag over his shoulder, he crouched right beside Hiroki as he gently caressed his cheek.

His eyes narrowed as he remembered the licence plate of the person who dared to hurt what was his. He would deal with that person when the opportunity arose but Hiroki needed someone to tend to him. He smiled at this chance, Hiroki wouldn't reject him after he learned what he had accomplished. A pediatric doctor who held a high standing in the eyes of his coworkers.

He gathered Hiroki into his arms and he kissed his forehead. He got up on his feet and walked on the sidewalk, careful of his injuries, he held him firmly in his arms. Spotting Hiroki's shoe on the road, he kicked it into the drain on the side of the road. No one suspected anything out of place.

Word of heavy rains coming during that week came during the evening news. He wasn't worried that anyone saw rhw bloodstains on the road. They would be washed away and no one would question where they came from,

"I will never let you go, Hiro-san." His blue eyes gleamed under the lights of the sidewalks, his smile twisted into a smirk. "The love I have for you is endless…and you will love me in return I am sure of it." He kissed Hiroki's lips after so many years and relished in the feeling that he wanted to continue.

Hiroki didn't stir in his arms during this kiss. He wanted him to wake up when he kissed him again but that would come after he healed. He didn't want his beloved Hiro-san in pain. This way Hiroki would enjoy the wonderful sensations of his love for him and the images of his imagination would become reality.

He stopped kissing him as he smiled while whispering beautiful things to Hiroki. This continued when he walked down the road until he heard the rambunctious laughter of drunk businessmen at close proximity. When they got close, he fast walked past them, giving them no chance to speak or identify anything about him. He hid Hiroki with his large build.

When he was at a safe distance, he let out a sigh of relief when he heard no one else. Maybe the distant sound of cars driving into the night but no sign of anyone. Hiroki grumbled in his arms as he awed at the sight and kissed his cheek.

"I wonder…how you would react to knowing I became a doctor, Hiro-san?" He said as he smiled. "Doctor Nowaki Kusama, it sounds somewhat odd when you think about it. No one ever expected that _I_ camethis far but it was with your help…you inspired me.."

Hiroki's eyebrows furrowed as Nowaki chuckled. "Even in your sleep you are just adorable." He made sure Hiroki was comfortable in his arms as he took a left to the direction of his apartment. "You are just going to love where we will be staying my love, you will simply _love_ it."

TBC


	10. Chapter 10

Pain brought Hiroki out of his unconscious state. His lungs hurt with each breath while different parts of his body pulsated from the bruising. To his relief, he felt no casts on his limbs or any indication of any broken bones. A miracle.

Underneath his eyelids, tears formed as the realization kicked in.

He survived the car crash.

He lived.

Attempting to move his limbs, they fell back onto bed from the strain. Assuming an ambulance picked him up from the crime scene, he readied himself for a nurse or even a nurse's assistant to catch him awake. To his surprise, he heard no beeping from a heart monitor, but the pinch of a needle of his left arm itched like crazy. Forcing his eyes open, he stared up at a wooden ceiling. No hospital white walls. The lack of pungent cleaner used in hospitals. Curious.

Jerking his head to the side, he saw a large bookcase on the wall, filled with the brim with books. Reading some of the titles, Hiroki scowled, his body didn't cooperate with his desire to bask in the presence of those books. Continuing on giving the room a quick overview, no adornments, no posters, nothing to personalize the room. He saw a door which lead into a basic bathroom.

The door knob jiggled.

Jumping on the spot, Hiroki snapped his head toward the door. A tall young man with shaggy black hair walked through the threshold of the door, carrying a tray on one hand. His stomach growled at the smell of sweetened oatmeal and he salivated at the sight of cubed watermelon in a small bowl. There were two glasses, one filled with water, the other with juice.

The giant's eyes twinkled at the sight of him. "Ah—Hello." He smiled at Hiroki's direction as he closed the door behind him with one hand. He hurried over to Hiroki's side, placing the tray on the nightstand beside the bed.

Hiroki watched this newcomer's movements, making sure that he wasn't a big threat. Although, he couldn't do much in his current state. His body felt like shit. It didn't mean his old kendo skills became rusty after going into teaching. In fact, he still practiced whenever he put aside the time in between his grading and creating new lesson plans.

As he observed this man, deja vu coursed through him. He knew this person. He just didn't connect the face to anyone he knew in his life or a particular name. Having taught multiple students, he tended to forget the name of the student if they did less than exceptional. After all, his brightest students shined above the ones who skimmed enough points to pass and never take his class again.

"I'm pleased to see you're awake." He tutted at the low I.V bags hooked onto Hiroki's arm. "I'm so sorry I didn't come earlier. I became busy on some errands which needed my attention. Not that you weren't important! I rushed back as fast as possible."

All of a sudden, Hiroki bent his head down to cough. Throat scratchy, he cursed under his breath. The guy presented a glass of water in front of him. When he tried reaching for the glass, the stranger insisted on giving it to him.

"Here let me help." The glass was tipped against Hiroki's lips.

Hiroki sipped, soothing his sore throat, before answering. "Why was I not taken to the hospital?"

"There was nothing worth a trip to the hospital."

"That didn't answer my question." Hiroki tried lifting himself off the bed, but he slammed back down, aggravating his injured body. " _Fuck_."

"Kamijou-san, that wasn't wise."

Hiroki narrowed his eyes. "How do you know my name?"

"Well..." The man rubbed the back of his neck. "You used to tutor me." Hiroki wrinkled his nose, trying to attach a name to this person. Nothing popped into his head. The bright blue eyes did tug a sliver of a memory inside of his mind. "Kusama Nowaki, at your service."

* * *

Nowaki spent a considerable amount of time relocating himself into the local hospital. A fair distance away from his cabin, but he thought ahead on wanting no neighbors near his paradise. This fresh new start to their budding relationship needed no outside eyes peering into his life.

Hiroki stayed in an imposed coma, giving him an opening to go along with his project. Once he included the shining recommendation from his mentor in his application, the transfer took no more than a few days. The head of the pediatric department welcomed him with open arms, introducing him to the numerous staff members of the hospital. No one found a flaw in him.

All according to plan.

As Hiroki slept, he cleaned the room he resided in and filled the bookcase with books. Many of the titles were ones Hiroki had an a pending list of books he desired to buy. Nowaki added them in to provide Hiroki some entertainment. Without television, books turned into the source of fun that he knew Hiroki enjoyed.

Noting Hiroki grumbled during the night, he saw it as a sign of him waking up sooner than later. Thinking ahead, he prepared a tray full of breakfast, then ventured toward Hiroki's room. Opening the door, he didn't expect to catch Hiroki looking at his direction. His heart skipped a beat at the sight of Hiroki's warm brown eyes.

Years passed since he last interacted with him, he couldn't think of what to say. Countless topics filtered through his head while he set down the tray on the nightstand. He avoided Hiroki's question about taking him to a hospital. As a doctor, he was more than qualified to nurse his beloved back to health. He planned out an array of ways to keep Hiroki complacent. Drugs were a main staple in his cabinets.

From the sight of Hiroki's weak form, he might not have to use them for a while. He felt guilt for having to slow down his dear one's recovery, but he wanted to have him dependent on him for far longer than usual.

Hiroki's eyes widened after he introduced himself. His heart swelled with hope. Hiroki remembered him! His smile grew at the mere thought.

The room's atmosphere _chilled_ when Hiroki yelled at him.

* * *

" _You?!_ "

Nowaki gulped. "Me?"

"How dare you show your face to me you ungrateful son of a bitch!" Nowaki jumped back at the fury showing through Hiroki's tone. He didn't expect him to have the energy after his ordeal. "I spent months, _months_ , giving you my unrelenting time. All those hours wasted!"

Nowaki put his hands up as a sign of peace. Hiroki continued on yelling at him, his voice cracked from the lack of moisture in certain intervals. Pausing, Hiroki resumed his rant while Nowaki tried not to let those words hurt him.

Nowaki placed his hands on his sides when he uttered. "Kamijou-san."

Hiroki stopped in his tirade. "What?" Glaring at him with pure annoyance, he tried making his face like the one he used in his classes. He relished in Nowaki's flinch due to his fierce stare.

Nowaki laid his hands on his lap. "It won't do you any good if you are yelling like that."

Hiroki tried to sit up using his arms, but they gave way because of his weak state. Landing back on the bed, he harrumphed. "I don't give a shit! You ran out on me when I worked hard to tutor your selfish ass. You didn't even have the balls to tell me that you didn't need my services."

Nowaki nibbled his bottom lip, trying to salvage this reunion."It's not that I didn't want to tell you I was leaving, I had to keep to myself for a while because of my circumstances. I needed to work long hours to collect the money for when I entered university and before I knew it I didn't go back." He kept his eyes on Hiroki, noting his anger simmering down to annoyance.

Letting out a deep sigh, his stomach plummeted. Hiroki forgot the day of his confession. His heart clenched. Wanting nothing more than to flee, he forced himself to remain in his spot. It shouldn't have surprised him. Hiroki dismissed his feelings with a flick of a hand and went to shower.

The moment Hiroki rejected him, he realized an immense difference between them. He needed to become an amazing person for Hiroki to consider him as a potential lover. The desire for Hiroki to fall for him fueled him through all of those late nights of studying, waiting for the day where he returned to Japan. Learning English didn't limit him as much as he thought, his old jobs settled in tourist areas where someone knew at least some basic English.

Still, he held himself back from taking the first flight back to Japan. He missed almost two years of stalking Hiroki's movements. Hiroki moved into a new apartment in a better area and no one in the old complex knew of his location. Hiroki kept to himself most of the time which wasn't much of a surprise that he didn't socialize with his neighbors.

An old friend found Hiroki without trouble. She agreed to his request when he lied about losing communication with his lover. As someone who loved romantic reunions, she did this for free and gave him encouraging words at his departure. He felt no guilt about lying to her.

Completing his doctrine and becoming a doctor would impress Hiroki. He heard from so many people that anyone would love to be married to a doctor, maybe this applied to Hiroki as well. Then again, he never got the impression in his short time in tutoring alongside Hiroki that he cared about wealth.

All of this work was in the name of love and nothing was going to stop him from his quest: making Hiroki his lover.

Hiroki winced when he felt a pain on the side of his head, ignoring it, he said. "I don't give a shit, the fact you didn't even tell me anything is just ridiculous. I waited for three weeks to see if you would show up and you still didn't call me."

Nowaki averted his eyes in shame and guilt. His beloved waited weeks before giving up on him. He rubbed his hands together and held the end of his shirt. His disappearing act and dropping contact was a wrong move in his part.

Hiroki huffed when he saw the devastated expression on Nowaki's face. He didn't think his words affected Nowaki since the guy left without notice, if anything he had the right to his fury. He spent numerous hours of his personal time to help this guy.

After his blowout, a load left his shoulders of the whole situation he entered into. From the old anger of Nowaki abandoning his tutoring sessions to but he felt a wave of pain coming from his wounds. He tried hard not to show any pain.

"…I'm sorry."

"You better be, you ass!"

Nowaki watched Hiroki from the corner of his eyes. Hiroki's words stabbed him in the heart, but he remained optimistic. His beloved Hiro-san showed immense patience back then, he'd get over his hurdle.

He spoke loud. "I'm sorry. As I said before, my jobs were overwhelming me and money was tight. The free hours I dedicated to the tutoring sessions went to sleeping enough before going back to work. I became a doctor—I'm sure you can imagine the grueling hours I spent trying to finish my education." He hated having to mask his true reasons, but Hiroki couldn't suspect anything.

Hiroki listened with intent, feeling a little bit bad for Nowaki's hardships. The professor knew no hardship in paying for his education. His parents paid for everything while he attended any class to his fancy. When he found out Nowaki worked a lot of jobs, he placed his assumptions based on his last students: a real lazy person who didn't do any work and wasted his time.

In a way, Hiroki missed having such a competent student like Nowaki and the young man himself. The majority of the ones in Mitsuhashi tested his patience far too often and were not as diligent as Nowaki.

"I understand." Hiroki sighed, rubbing his temples. "You have a life outside of me and you needed to get all the money you could get to pay for your tuition and expenses."

Nowaki bit the inside of his cheek so hard. Ignoring the stinging pain, he focused on his beloved, no, Hiroki. Hiroki forgot his confession and believed his lie. He managed to control his oncoming tears.

Hiroki looked at Nowaki's gorgeous frame and tried not to look at him for too long. After all of these years apart, Nowaki grew into a handsome young man. Tall, dark, and handsome, many attributes people wanted in a man. He wouldn't be surprised if Nowaki had someone in his life. The handsome ones never stayed single for long.

Hiroki commented. "So you became a doctor…isn't that a real hard major to get into?"

Nowaki put on a convincing fake smile on his face. "It was hard, but I studied countless nights and managed to get my credentials. I studied in America for a two year program which I managed to complete in a year. I'm even employed in a hospital, well I'm interning, but I am close in becoming a real doctor."

Hiroki's eyes widened in surprise at how far his old student had succeeded in his life. He was so proud of the guy for not giving up as expected and accomplished his goal. None of his old students strove such heights and succeeded in basking in the benefits.

"Wow..I'm impressed. I have known a lot of people who gave up in becoming a doctor due to the difficulty of the program."

Nowaki's heart fluttered at those words. Hiroki was _impressed_ with him. Hiroki thought that he was better than all those _other_ people who gave up when it got tough.

"T—Thank you." Nowaki blushed. "It was all because of you. You...you instilled my studying methods into me. I looked back to our old tutoring sessions when I wanted to give up." In which, Nowaki kissed a picture of Hiroki or caressed the locket to give him strength. "But I didn't because I was already so close…"

Hiroki nodded his head as he motioned to the cup. "What's in that?"

"Oh, tea!" Nowaki lifted it up and tipped it against Hiroki's lips. "Here you go. Careful, it's still hot."

Hiroki bit back a comment over Nowaki treating him like a child. He managed to lift his arms, but one look into Nowaki's determined eyes and he caved. No use arguing. Blowing the liquid, he sipped some of his tea. His eyebrows scrunched when he realized it was sweetened perfectly. "How did…How did you know I made my tea this way?"

Nowaki chuckled. "Lucky guess? I don't add a lot of sugar to my tea either. I'm sure you wouldn't appreciate a cup full of sugar."

Hiroki sipped more of his tea, his chest warmed up from the intake. "At least one of my students doesn't resent my teaching methods…"

Nowaki asked in astonishment. "What do you mean?"

Hiroki scoffed, making no moves to lift his head off of his pillow. "Considering the fact that a majority of my students act like they are still children, I heard them complain of my teaching methods more than once. They think I don't hear them whispering about me, but rumors travel fast."

Nowaki frowned. "But Hiro-san, you are a wonderful teacher. I wouldn't have gotten this far without your guidance from the beginning."

Hiroki attempted to make himself comfortable through inching his body around. He missed Nowaki calling his old nickname. "There are harder professors at that university, some who don't even teach properly, they should be grateful I am trying to teach them properly. Either way, my class is a requirement. They have no choice but to take it or risk failing in their last year for putting it off."

Nowaki smiled "They will appreciate your teaching eventually, just know that you have proof of your amazing teaching right in front of you."

Hiroki muttered, "I guess."

Nowaki asked Hiroki with a huge grin on his face. "Do you want me to feed you some watermelon?" He took the small bowl from the tray and he scooted closer to Hiroki. "There were some fresh watermelons when I went to the store yesterday. The season is perfect for fruit."

Hiroki despised being babied through someone other than his mother. The water and tea pushed his limits. "So…you weren't here all day with me?"

Nowaki shook his head as he stabbed a toothpick into one of the cut up watermelon pieces. "I had to leave to stock up the fridge since I was busy attending you. I was only gone for half an hour anyway." He held the watermelon piece to Hiroki's lips. "Say ah~"

Hiroki glared at him as he lifted his arm and managed to grab the toothpick from Nowaki. His arm ached from the strain. "I can feed myself Kusama. Even though I am injured, I still have some pride as a man." He ate the piece and he grabbed the bowl from Nowaki.

Nowaki chuckled as he observed Hiroki in the flesh. He was _talking_ to him, _interacting_ with him and Hiroki warmed up to him! They went through a rough start, but he knew everything would turn into smooth sailing from now on.

Hiroki ate the last piece of watermelon before he asked Nowaki. "Where are we anyway?"

Nowaki stiffened. Pretending not to have heard Hiroki, he grabbed a small bowl of porridge. It was lightly sweetened. Hiroki wouldn't complain about the lack of taste. He took the empty bowl of watermelon and placed it on the tray. He hesitated in giving Hiroki the porridge at the sight of his annoyed glance.

"Kusama, _where_ are we?" Nowaki stood up from the bed as Hiroki yelled. " _Hey!_ I know you can hear me! Where the hell are we?!"

Nowaki turned to Hiroki, smiling light. "I'll check on you later Hiro-san, I just remembered I have to do something." He ran out of the door, shutting it behind him, he leaned against the door.

"Kusama! Come back in here and explain yourself! Hey!" Nowaki heard Hiroki screaming inside of the room, he rubbed his eyes in tiredness.

Hiroki would tire out soon.

He turned the key on the door in a slow pace, then pocketed the key. His eyes narrowed, clenching his fists, he placed his forehead against the door. He didn't want their encounter to finish, he waited too long to let Hiroki leave his grasp.

An idea formed in his head.

Smirking, he straightened himself out before he left the area. He wanted to keep Hiroki with him forever and he knew what to do. The idea required Photoshop and a computer.


	11. Chapter 11

Nowaki returned to Hiroki's room in the morning. His idea required more hours than expected, but he finished before he went to bed. Hiroki's previous yells reduced down as the afternoon past. Knowing Hiroki well enough, his beloved hated being ignored for long. This news might stun him enough for him to forget his previous transgressions.

Holding a tray of different light breakfast items and a stack of papers under his arm, he replayed his explanation inside of his head. His repetitive lying served to work on others, but with Hiroki, he seemed to look past his lies. Taking a deep breath, he opened the door and entered.

Hiroki glared at him.

No surprise.

Nowaki coughed. "Good morning."

Hiroki crossed his arms over his chest, he eyed the tray of food, hoping to have something other than mush. "Morning."

"I'm sorry about yesterday." Nowaki set the tray on the nightstand, the papers crinkled underneath his arm.

"Explain yourself." Nowaki fidgeted. Hiroki's eyebrow twitched. " _Well_? Go on?"

"I didn't know how to tell you the news..."

Hiroki narrowed his eyes. "What are you talking about?"

"Kamijou-san...Hiro-san..." Nowaki handed him the papers, no going back, he continued on speaking. "I found a small article online and I printed it out this morning. You have to read it."

Hiroki kept his eyes on Nowaki. "So?"

Nowaki hunched his shoulders. "You're...you're dead."

" _Excuse me?_ " Hiroki snapped. "What kind of lies are you spewing Kusama?! There is no way I'm dead. I'm eating and holding paper!"

Nowaki breathed in and out. "Read the article, Hiro-san."

"You're lying."

"I'm not." Pointing to the article, Nowaki insisted. "Read the article."

"Fine." Hiroki turned his gaze down to the papers in his hands.

Nowaki twiddled his fingers, biting his bottom lip.

**_Mitsuhashi's Professor, Kamijou Hiroki, dies from car crash._ **

_Dies._

_Car crash._

Hiroki uttered out. "How can you see me?"

Reading ahead, he saw no photos of the crash, to his relief, just a written article describing his life. Quotes came from his parents, Akihiko, Takahiro, anyone who knew him. Checking the date, it coincided with the day of Akihiko's house party.

Nowaki answered. "I can see spirits." Pinching his hand, he pushed aside his nerves before he backtracked. "I helped many spirits before they passed through the light. This is nothing new to me. Although, this is the first time I had someone I knew come to me. Trust me, this is hurting me as well. You _were_ an _amazing_ teacher."

* * *

Hiroki trembled on his spot on the bed. Processing the realization of his situation, dropping the papers, they scattered onto the floor. His hands clenched the sheets. He stared at the wall in front of him. He was _dead_. _Dead_. His parents _outlived_ him. The mere thought brought a churning to his stomach.

As Nowaki patted his hand, assuming it came from pity on account of his dilemma, he pulled his hand back to his chest.

Nowaki's heart broke at watching the scene play out in front of him. Hiroki received the news harder than he expected. _Broken_. _Devastated_. In a way, Nowaki regretted making up that fake article and lying to Hiroki. But then again, Hiroki wouldn't make a fuss on account of being _dead_. The work came in convincing Hiroki of this fact.

Letting out a deep sigh, Nowaki stood up and picked up the crinkled papers. The noise brought Hiroki's attention toward him. He saw the first signs of tears forming in Hiroki's eyes.

The sight twisted a knife through his chest.

How could he continue going along with this?

Hiroki opened his mouth, stammering out. "A—Am I a bad person?"

Folding the newspaper in half, Nowaki hid it out of Hiroki's sight. "No."

Hiroki believed he was punished. This death came from retribution against whatever he did wrong in his life. Thinking back, he saw nothing horrid enough for this punishment. Although, his students would have attested otherwise. He imagined them celebrating his death.

Nowaki repeated his answer. "No. No you're not a bad person." He reached out and rubbed Hiroki's shoulder. The warmth seeped into his fingers, but this was no time to celebrate Hiroki almost leaning to his touch.

He provided Hiroki his full and undivided attention.

Hiroki gulped, looking down, his bangs covered his eyes. "I outlived my father…I can't imagine what he must be feeling."

Nowaki squeezed Hiroki's arm in comfort. "I'm sure he is fine—"

Hiroki snapped his head up, exclaiming. "How can you be so sure?! He loved my mother and I. He might seem like a stern man, but he has feelings. Were you even at my damn funeral?!"

Nowaki tried to calm down Hiroki. "That is not what I meant at all. Please, Hiro-san calm down. To answer your question, I wasn't there. It would be rude of me to go to a private funeral."

"Fuck all of this. Leave Nowaki." Hiroki covered his face with his hands as he tried keeping himself from sobbing in front of Nowaki.

Even though he was dead, he still desired to retain a portion of his pride. He was not going to let anyone other than his parents or friends, watch him cry.

Nowaki processed what Hiroki told as he shuffled closer to Hiroki. "What?"

"Leave."

"But why?"

"Just _leave_."

"Hiro-san, I—"

" _Fucking leave me alone!_ " Hiroki pushed Nowaki away with all the strength he had and screamed. "What part of that don't you understand?!"

Nowaki lost his balance as he fell onto the cold wooden floor. The slam echoed throughout the room.

Hiroki turned to him in shock. Despite the fact that he was dead, he managed to push Nowaki away from him. Was this an effect on his emotions putting energy inside of him? He watched movies on paranormal activity, but those seemed to clasp on cinematography and visual effects. His limited knowledge on the dead helped little in his case.

Did this mean he slowly started gaining his strength back? He hoped with all his heart.

The doctor was in relative shock. The drugs were wearing off of Hiroki's system. This scared him. How was he supposed to keep Hiroki contained in this room if he was gaining some power in his limbs? He could overpower him and run out of the cabin.

Nowaki excused this as a lack of attention on his end. Convincing himself of his own carelessness, Hiroki caught him at a bad time because he was putting his focus on trying to remain in the room. Hiroki acted without warning.

He stood up from the floor as he rubbed his side. Even though he didn't land so hard onto the ground, the bruise still hurt. Nowaki left the room in silence, showing his face, Hiroki managed to catch the hurt expression on his face.

Hiroki clenched his fists as Nowaki closed the door behind him. "I'm so sorry…" The click of the door obscured his apology.

On instinct, Nowaki locked the door before he walked into the kitchen. He opened the biggest cabinet he had, which contained different varieties of medicine, each one with specific side effect that he needed.

He took out a few bottles from the cabinet and read the side effects that he wanted Hiroki to experience. Then, he opened all the bottles and removed a number of pills before he set them back in their proper place. The thoughts of not drugging Hiroki did surface, this was going too far, there were ways of keeping Hiroki subdued without drugs. His eyes narrowed as he snuffed these thoughts out.

The danger of Hiroki's family and his friends figuring out he was gone approached. There was no way Hiroki's tight knit family wouldn't figure out he was missing from his apartment. Especially Mitsuhashi University, they were not going to ignore the fact that one of their professors dropped off the face of the Earth.

He placed the pills in a mortar, crushing them with the pestle until they formed into a powder. Afterwards, he separated them into even piles and weighed them so they were the right amount that he mixed into Hiroki's food.

He didn't want to kill his beloved after all.

Nowaki finished this new concoction after a few minutes and placed each pile in individual bags. This way the weight wouldn't be compromised and Hiroki's experience didn't become anything too drastic, but still weak enough to his satisfaction.

A smirk appeared on Nowaki's face as he hid these new batches in the same cabinet full of medicine.

He closed it shut. "You are not escaping me so easily."

* * *

Nowaki entered his room and went to the wardrobe at the far end of his room. He opened the closet and crouched down to pick up the box he kept the clothes Hiroki wore on the day of the accident. Despite being stained with Hiroki's blood, he didn't dare wash them. Opening the box, he stood up and walked to his bed. He sat down and took the clothes out of the confined space.

He pressed the clothes to his face, inhaling the sweet scent of Hiroki's cologne and laid on his bed. He closed his eyes and held the clothes tight in his arms. Hiroki's cologne became a scent Nowaki enjoyed. He bought a bottle and kept it somewhere on his person at all times. The vibrant red scarf smelled stale after so many years, but now that he had these clothes.

Hiroki's phone fell out of the pocket of the jeans and fell on the floor with a smack. Nowaki snapped to the direction of the floor and crouched down to grab the phone. He checked it over for any marks and frowned when he saw a dent on the side of the phone. Otherwise, it remained in relative good condition.

He pressed the side button and the screen turned on. Growing curious, he slid his finger across the screen to access the phone's contents. Nowaki smiled when he saw a beautiful picture of a lake with flowers blooming all over the place as the wallpaper. He wandered through the apps in Hiroki's phone while he remembered to save the photo gallery for last.

He skimmed through the content and saw four people in the family section. Hiroki's parents were in the top slots of the list, _Akihiko Usami_ , and a familiar name as well, _Takahiro_. His eyebrows furrowed on the importance of Takahiro. Why was he so important to Hiroki? This wasn't a new rival was he? He'd get rid of him if this was the case.

Nowaki shook his head, making those thoughts disappear, he went inside of the photo gallery. The first picture he saw was of Hiroki being held by his much older parents in front of a rose garden. Hiroki wore comfier clothing than what Nowaki sometimes saw him in. He was smiling at the camera. A sincere and breathtaking smile.

His heart sped up at. It was so beautiful. He wanted it directed at him in real life. He was certain the photo didn't compare to seeing it in person. It might take a while since Hiroki entered into a grieving stage after the news.

He went through all of the photos. Finding normal contents, many including family members of the Kamijou family. His finger slipped and saw Hiroki squished in between two men. Nowaki's hand gripped onto the phone tighter as he observed the picture, trying not to react to these men who were so close to _his_ Hiro-san.

Nowaki's eyes narrowed when he saw the smile Hiroki sported on his face as he was held by these men. The man in glasses, which he guessed was Takahiro, pressed his cheek close to Hiroki's while he put up the peace sign. Akihiko put his arm around Hiroki's body, grinning, he held the camera with his other hand.

He didn't care about Takahiro's significance. Seeing the ring on his marriage finger meant that he was either engaged or married. This meant that Takahiro's threat level lessened. This gave him a form of relief. He didn't need another competitor for Hiroki's affections and if the opportunity arose, he might become friends with this man.

When his eyes went to the smile on Akihiko's face, he gritted his teeth in anger. The innocent smile on Akihiko's face warped into a condescending smirk. To Nowaki, it seemed Akihiko made fun of him for his inadequacy. How anything he did in his life paled in comparison to anything the great Akihiko Usami ever did.

He wanted no more than to break this phone into little pieces, but he might alert Hiroki to the noise. His hand held the phone in a death grip and knew for certain of making a commotion when he broke it.

Nowaki breathed in deep as he relished in his small accomplishment. He somewhat convinced Hiroki of his death. No easy feat, but he went through his explanations without giving himself away.

Hopefully, Hiroki would get used to being _d_ e _ad_ and learn to live a great life here with him.

Biting his nail, Nowaki calculated on adding more drugs to Hiroki's food, where he became weak enough not to reach the door. He didn't want to resort to using drugs, but it was necessary. The small bags in the cabinet would sustain Hiroki's weak state for a good amount of time if he kept feeding them to him.

A loud slam interrupted Nowaki's thoughts. He placed the phone on the bed and ran out the door. Nowaki made it to Hiroki's room in a matter of seconds. Heart pumping, he tried not to imagine anything bad happening to Hiroki.

He unlocked the door, opened it, and saw Hiroki staring up at him with the sheets tangled around his legs. Nowaki didn't hesitate as he collected Hiroki in his arms and the older man glared at him for being picked up.

Nowaki tucked Hiroki in his bed. "Why? Why did you get out of bed?" He couldn't believe it. Hiroki was trying to leave him.

Hiroki crossed his arms, huffing out. "I am not going to sit on my ass all day in boredom."

Nowaki looked up and tried not to grin, Hiroki wasn't trying to leave, he was trying to find something to do. "That's why?"

"I thought being dead would be more exciting. It just seems like a complete bore to me. All I'm doing is laying in a bed and simulating life. It's such bullshit. I might as well haunt Akihiko once I get settled."

Nowaki chuckled. "I can collect a stack of books to place on your nightstand. Do you want me to bring them for you."

"I guess." Hiroki stared at the open door, seeing a few pieces of furniture in the living room. "So when exactly can I go out and wander through the whole place you have here?"

Nowaki tried not to seem aggravated as he walked to the door. "Well," He lied to Hiroki. "It depends on the person, you are far too weak to move around. If you exert your energy, your spirit might disappear."

Hiroki's eyes widened. " _Shit._ I was hoping to visit my family to see how they were fairing."

Nowaki bit the inside of his cheek to keep himself from commenting, his earlier assessment of the elder Kamijou made Hiroki angry at him. How was he supposed to know how Hiroki's father would react when he had only met Hiroki's kind mother?

He walked outside of the room, stopped and turned around to stare at Hiroki. "I'm sure you will gain your energy soon enough, all of the other spirits I met left pretty quickly." He told him without any hesitation in his voice.

"I hope so." Hiroki muttered.

Nowaki resumed his walk as his eyes narrowed. He would let Hiroki believe he could leave once he was strong enough, but he had enough medicine in his cabinet to last him for years.

Hiroki wasn't going to leave him ever again.

* * *

Akihiko laid back on his chair, letting out a huge yawn. Having finished his newest novel, Aikawa's voice would have a nice break from her constant yelling.  After the party with his friends, he was inspired to write something about the friendship between a trio of friends in a fantasy world. The burst of inspiration grasped a hold of him and kept him in one spot. 

What better way to honor his friends than to create characters for them as they fought their way through an imaginary world? This was one of his more serious stories which focused on their friendship and journey, but Aikawa would pout over the lack of BL.

He heard his phone ringing, letting out a groan, he stood up from his desk. Oh well, he needed some exercise since he sat on his ass for far too long.

Taking out a cigarette from his pocket, he lit up before he took a deep puff as he walked down the stairs. He didn't want to answer, but he was sure it was someone from Marukawa checking in on his writing process.

Or it could be his father trying to get them to bond.

The mere thought prompted Akihiko to roll his eyes. His father came in person for such ridiculous ideas. The man was adamant on getting him and his brother to bond. Not happening, but it didn't stop the old man from trying. 

He picked up the phone without looking at the ID. "Usami Akihiko speaking." Akihiko said without any remote interest, he wanted to go to bed after this call.

**"Usami we have to talk."**

Akihiko arched a brow, Hiroki's father never called him. "Kamijou? What a surprise, you never call me." The fact that the elder Kamijou knew his number was just odd to him.

**"I know I don't call you. I am only calling because Hiroki has not answered his home phone or his cell phone for the past few days. We are starting to worry. Fuyumi is starting to worry."**

Akihiko would have rolled his eyes if this was another person, but the sincerity came through. "Maybe he is just too busy, ever thought of that?"

**"Not when it pertains to his promise of coming back home this very week. He called us two weeks earlier and told us he was done settling anything he needed. There is no reason for him to be busy."**

Akihiko leaned against the wall. "Then, I have no idea what he could be doing. The last time I saw him was a week ago at my party. He was fine when he left my place and I'm sure he made it home alright. Have you called the people at Mitsuhashi?"

**"I didn't think I would have a need to call them when I know the term hasn't started yet. Hiroki informed us he would start the week after this one."**

Akihiko took another drag of his cigarette. "I could try calling him for you if you want."

**"You will get the same result as us, he doesn't answer anyone. I tried my office phone and he still wouldn't answer the phone."**

Akihiko held his cigarette between his fingers, trying to think of an explanation to give the elder Kamijou. It wasn't like Hiroki to not answer his phone to his friend and family, well unless it was private number trying to play pranks on him.

His eyes narrowed as Hiroki's claims of feeling someone watching him resurfaced in his mind. There was no way that had anything to do with Hiroki's sudden lack of answering calls.

He had to admit, this was all too strange to his liking and he needed to find Hiroki to assure himself of his safety.

Akihiko told Soshi. "I will go to his apartment in person if that will appease your mind."

**"…Alright, just make sure to call us when you see him."**

Soshi hung up the phone after that as Akihiko placed it on the receiver. He took out his cell phone and immediately dialed Hiroki's number. Placing it on his ear, he stood there, waiting for him to answer.

"C'mon answer…"

Akihiko heard Hiroki's voicemail and he ended the call.

He was definitely going to go to Hiroki's apartment.


	12. Chapter 12

Nowaki liked the new hospital he transferred into. A downgrade from the high tech hospital he had grown accustomed to, but he saw the purpose of settling there. Close enough to his cabin and kept a safe distance from anyone discovering any suspicious activity.

He passed the interview with flying colors. His careful strides in providing the right answers with smiles had won over his interviewer. The paperwork for his transfer made him cringe. He hated doing paperwork of any kind. 

From the sparkling floors to the amicable staff, none of them appeared suspicious of a city boy coming into their hospital. In fact, they invited him into their flock with open arms. None of them suspected anything amiss. His natural charm kept any worries about of their minds. He developed some acquaintances with a variety of people and earned the trust of the head doctor.

All in a first day's work.

* * *

The whole ghost lie came with a variety of ramifications. Hiroki tumbled into a deep depression and refused any offer of food and drink. One look at the tray and he turned his face away. It didn't matter much in Nowaki's opinion. The drugs added into Hiroki's I.V's caused him to loose any hunger pains way before the news. In any case, Nowaki worried about Hiroki's mental state at the reality of his  _death_.

Hiroki's self assured persona crumbled into this pathetic sight. Something he never thought he'd witnessed on such a proud man. Still, Nowaki ached with sympathy at witnessing such a broken Hiroki. He loved Hiroki's brashness and the sound of confidence in his voice. 

Upon entering the room, tray in hand, Hiroki told him. "I don't want it."

"Hiroki-san, please, you have to try."

Hiroki glared at him. The power lessened in intensity from his tired state and desperation. "Stop insisting in helping me. Leave me to wallow in my sorrow. You can find another ghost to _help_."

Nowaki set the tray on the nightstand. "I can't do that Hiroki-san." He tilted his head to the side. "Everyone dies, Hiroki-san. You can't be so arrogant to believe you weren't susceptible to die. Be grateful you feel no pain now that you have passed. Not many people have this luxury."

Hiroki scoffed. "As the ghost expert, you know should have grown used to cranky ass people who didn't want to die. Suck it up."

Nowaki muttered under his breath. "Follow your own advice." He hid his frustration with a smile. "Well, we can't have you just laying here all day. Why don't I grab a book for you to read?"

"Not interested."

"Not even if it's...." Nowaki picked one of the books Hiroki coveted for his collection. "This one?"

Hiroki's eyes widened in surprise. "You have _that_ book?"

* * *

Hiroki became bearable for a limited amount of time. The book transformed the gloomy man into the bookworm who ate up countless amounts of books. Hiroki even let Nowaki feed him a piece of fruit or two before dismissing him. Engrossed in his book, Hiroki fell asleep with the book in his weak hands, straining the muscles from his attempts at holding it up. 

Nowaki set it aside as he tidied up the room. His actions woke up Hiroki who grimaced at the loss of his book. He chuckled in amusement. From what he witnessed, he might catch Hiroki sleeping with books on his body. 

Using the guise of fluffing Hiroki's pillows, Nowaki moved closer to him. "How are you feeling this morning?

Hiroki glanced at Nowaki. "Decent."

"I understand that these last few days have been hard on you. Trust me, I haven't gotten over the shock myself" Nowaki moved back, but not before softly touching Hiroki's hair. His touch didn't linger to avoid Hiroki's change of mood. "You can tell me about your thoughts. We have all the time in the world to chat and you can decompress."

His position as a doctor proved useful in keeping Hiroki subdued on this bed. The potency and measurements of the drugs he kept in stock meant that Hiroki's muscle strength weakened as each day passed. This made it impossible for Hiroki to push him away ever again, it took one time to serve as a prime lesson of his carelessness. Now, he made sure that Hiroki's medication remained circulating through the ex-professor's body.

He watched Hiroki's every move. Hiroki closed his eyes shut, his breathing slowed down, and his hand curling on his chest. Nowaki enjoyed watching him. Anything Hiroki did fascinated him. His slow descent in losing his patience about kissing Hiroki, tugged at his self-control. 

After so many years of gathering information on Hiroki, he pushed himself through school just to get his attention. The wait for a mere kiss drove him wild, he dreamed about kissing those lips again. 

Realizing Nowaki waiting on an answer Hiroki let out a deep sigh. "You will grow bored of hearing me talk."

Nowaki shook his head, smiling in encouragement. "Not at all. In fact, I would love to hear what you have to say."

Hiroki opened one eye, it took all his strength not to fall asleep in front of the guy. "I guess..something I never spoke about in life…was my father's side of the family." Nowaki scooted closer to Hiroki. "They never took to my mother well and her fragile disposition wasn't in their image for a wife of the Kamijou family."

Nowaki's eyes narrowed, but kept his face from showing his anger at Hiroki's relatives. The woman he met years ago was a kind woman who spoke with such refinement and politeness. In their short conversation, he saw how much she loved her husband and son.

He couldn't understand why they didn't like this woman.

"And also…learning about my mother's health, it was never the best and I only found out when mother was hospitalized during one of my kendo tournaments." Hiroki closed his one open eye with a frown. "She risked her life to birth me and I am stupid enough to die before her. I am such an ungrateful son."

Nowaki reached out and curled his hand around Hiroki's weakened hand. "You are not ungrateful, it was just an unfortunate accident."

Hiroki scoffed. "You have repeated that it was an accident too many times, I get it."

Nowaki repeated himself. "It was an accident." He squeezed Hiroki's hand. "Anything else you want to tell me?" He hoped Hiroki didn't say anything about Akihiko, he didn't want to hear the praise coming from Hiroki's voice about that man.

Hiroki responded. "I can't think of anything…" His eyebrows furrowed as he managed to move his head to the side. "My mind is just blanking out on me right now."

Nowaki gulped and knew it was the drugs kicking in to lull Hiroki into another bout of dreamless sleep. One of the medicines he slipped into Hiroki's I.V was a sleeping agent that made sure a person slept. The fact the person got no dreams turned into a bonus to his plans. 

Without adding this to Hiroki's medication, his ruse would end. A dead person experienced no dreams. 

"Ugh…."

Nowaki removed his hand off of Hiroki and pushed some of those brown locks from Hiroki's face. "Don't fight it, just let the feeling take over. It will go away soon."

Hiroki forced his eyes open and stared at Nowaki. "Is there any way to get this to go faster? I hate being bedridden more than anything. I don't like being stuck in this room all the time."

Nowaki smiled lightly. "All of the other people who came to me just let it happen and were on their merry way. Maybe you are just trying to hard, you have to relax."

Hiroki closed his eyes again and kept his irritation in check.

It was useless trying to get information out of Nowaki. Nowaki parroted the same vague answers about other ghosts he helped. His irritation spiked at the lack of information. Not that Hiroki minded staying around the guy for a while. Nowaki was a product of his teachings. A self made man who worked hard for his position in life. In a way, he was proud of his input on Nowaki's journey to success.

He wondered about Nowaki's love life. With the doctor's looks, it was hard to imagine him without someone on his arm. Unless, Nowaki focused his attention onto his job and had no time to date.

Yet, Nowaki wasted time in his presence. He thought Nowaki worked in a hospital. Those hours fluctuated depending on the area of expertise and the hospital in question. Then again, he didn't know the exact date anymore. He lost track of time. 

"Nowaki…"

"Yes?" Nowaki grinned.

"Don't you have work?" Hiroki asked in a low voice.

Nowaki's grin lessened, "I'm starting a new shift in a hospital next week. The head doctor thought I should settle into my home before the hours become hectic."

"Also…" Nowaki leaned closer. "Don't you have a girlfriend or something.."

"Ah.." Nowaki frowned. "No, I don't have any time to look for anyone else." Not when he spent all of his free time following Hiroki around for so many years.Other men and women were not the people he wanted. He desired Hiroki Kamijou as his lover, no one else fit his image of a lover.

"That's surprising…"

"Why?"

"You…are not…too bad looking.." Hiroki slipped into unconsciousness, leaving Nowaki staring at him in complete shock.

* * *

Nowaki loomed over Hiroki's sleeping form with a developing gleam in his once calm blue eyes. The mere thought of Hiroki giving him compliments almost slipped his attention. Good thing he listened to Hiroki's every word in order to make sure to keep up the ruse. One of his hands caressed Hiroki's face while the other one pressed against the wall to keep him upright.

The moment Hiroki complimented him, his reservations broke, flooding his common sense away.

In the beginning, Hiroki complimented his accomplishments from a tutor's standpoint, a proud teacher who saw their student years ahead in the future. Teachers loved saying they taught a future lawyer or a doctor. Something he did through his own hard work. His outer appearance never came into Hiroki's radar. The one person he wanted to comment on his appearance had just done it.

He hunched down closer to the unconscious man, his eyes searching for a place to touch or kiss with his lips. The yearn to touch this man drove him insane. Where should be start first?

The fact Hiroki had not bathed didn't bother him. He cleaned him off during his initial injuries and attempted sponge baths when Hiroki slipped into deep sleep. A drug induced sleep which kept him from waking up in the middle of his actions. During those times, he held back from touching him as a lover. Wanting nothing more than have Hiroki react to his touch.

His lips brushed on Hiroki's bare shoulder. A feeling of lust went through his body, his dick twitched from the action.

Hiroki didn't move an inch.

The lack of fighting gave him encouragement to continue.

Nowaki began leaving light kisses throughout Hiroki's neck, he felt Hiroki's form shivering under him. He stared at his face and saw that his eyes opened a bit, but they didn't focus on anything.

Good, Hiroki remained in a deep state of drug induced sleep.

Licking this lips, he continued on kissing down Hiroki's exposed neck. The white robe fit loose on the man which made it easier to open without force. He felt brave and used his hand to push away the robe to expose more of Hiroki's bare shoulder.

Nowaki breathed deeper as he licked Hiroki's shoulder. No guilt came over him while he touched Hiroki's unconscious form, he had waited long enough to touch his future lover. He was certain on Hiroki's future desire over him in due time.

Holding back the urge to bite Hiroki's skin, he kissed along the shoulder. Any evidence of this moment would ruin all of this hard work.

When Hiroki loved him back, he would mark his new lover without abandon. He anticipated for the day to arrive even faster.

* * *

Hiroki opened his eyes the moment he felt something touching his neck.

Shivering, his lack of muscle strength made it harder for him to swat whatever was touching him away. The assumption of a fly or a mosquito touching him dissipated when he felt air touch wet spots. There were traces of liquid in scattered areas and he swore felt cold.

Opening his eyes, his vision blurred. He made out no features on the person leaning over his body except for the black haziness of hair on top of their head. No panic went through his body, he was worn out enough that his adrenaline didn't kick in.

He heard the harsh breathing of the figure and he thought the figure started whispering into his ear. They were sweet words that did nothing more than confuse him.

Why did this figure touch him?

Letting out a groan, Hiroki tried lifting up his hand, but it fell back onto his chest.

He despised having no strength in his body. For the first time in his life, he felt complete helplessness. Scratch that, the moment he knew he was dead was the first time, this journey through death left him with unanswered questions which added onto his state of confusion.

His robe slipped down, hands wandered all over his skin. A _warm_  hand. He thought ghosts couldn't be touched, they were not alive anymore.

What was going on?

After that thought, he passed into unconsciousness. Hiroki regained consciousness and then slipped back into unconsciousness again. He didn't know how long the gaps in between were, but the touches continued on with no sign of stopping.

When the touches traveled North, he managed to turn his head to the direction of the figure. His lips were caressed tenderly, the amount of time this action occurred escaped him.

Opening his eyes again, he saw a pair of blue eyes staring down at him. Hiroki couldn't believe the man trying so hard to have him pass on was taking advantage of him.

He chastised himself for such thoughts. No, it wasn't Nowaki of all people. He was too kind and considerate to do something like this.

Was his transition into death making him hallucinate?

When he was alive he had not slept with anyone in years so maybe the sexual frustration tagged along. It must have transferred with him when he died. His mind placed his frustrations on the one other person he saw for the longest period of time.

Maybe thinking of someone he had no attraction to would make this go away. It didn't hurt to try this tactic.

"A-A.." Hiroki tried speaking and this made the figure stop in his ministrations. "A-Akihiko…"

After uttering his best friend's name, he didn't feel this figure over his body anymore. He heard a door slamming in the distance. He ignored it in favor of falling into unconsciousness.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Big warning to readers, there is RAPE in this chapter. It begins in the THIRD section of this chapter. It's also implied in the FOURTH and FIFTH section. This aspect of the fanfic was planned with my old co-writer. I felt bad writing it, but this is NOT a love story. This was a true test of my ability to dive into dark topics.**
> 
> **You can look for Egoist fluff and love in my other fics if this bothers you.**
> 
> **Also, I opened a tip jar at ko-fi if you'd like to support me through that method. The link is on my Tumblr** : [Lucicelo](https://lucicelo.tumblr.com)

Hiroki opened his eyes in time to catch Nowaki rearrange the bookcase. Wincing at each loud slam, he mourned the state of those books. Bending books on purpose still remained a pet peeve of his. Too tired to speak, he kept his annoyance to himself to preserve his dignity. He hated how weak he sounded when he spoke. Making an attempt to move his arm, his muscles strained from the movement. None of his limbs worked. This irritated him more than anything.

He managed to jerk his head to the right direction and watched Nowaki in action. His broad shoulders were hard to miss. The tall height of this man overshadowed anyone he ever associated himself with.

He noticed Nowaki's rather foul mood.

During the time he spent with Nowaki, he'd never seen such a furious expression on the man's face. He pondered on the reasons. Maybe an incident happened at work to bring out this rare sight. Such a compassionate man shouldn't have a thing to worry about. At least, Hiroki assumed the doctor never strayed from his gentle nature.

Everyone experienced bad luck in their lives. Why not Nowaki?

He opened his mouth to speak, but his mouth contained no saliva, his throat dried up. The act of gulping aggravated everything it seemed. When Nowaki addressed him, he'd mime the act of wanting water. Anything to get rid if the thirst.

From the light peering through the bathroom window, he calculated the time as early morning. This brought on his confusion.

Wasn't Nowaki supposed to bring him breakfast to simulate eating?

From his peripheral, he saw no tray or any semblance of food or drink. Not that he was hungry, but he needed to do something with his time. He couldn't even reach the books to read on his own, he relied on Nowaki to hand them over to him. The same guy wrecking those precious books through slamming them in the shelf without a care.

Such precious books, treated with callousness.

Groaning, Hiroki closed his eyes. This was becoming too bothersome, he wanted to pass over this weakness, not seeing his family and friends stung him. He was sick of staying in bed.

Upon hearing the noise, Nowaki snapped his head toward Hiroki's direction. Staring at him with harsh intensity, his chest heaved from his attempts at calming breathing exercises. He tried not to let his bruised pride take control of him. He had faced worse situations, yet, Hiroki's betrayal hurt him deep in his soul. Hiroki called the name of that  _man_ during their moment of intimacy.

During his shift at work, he masked his inner fury from his co-workers. Nothing good came from airing out grievances in the workplace. After returning to the cabin, he went straight to Hiroki's room. The moment he laid eyes on him he wanted to shake Hiroki, yell at him for muttering another man's name in his presence.

Glad to have taken his fury on something other than Hiroki, his pain still stuck to him, clinging onto the continual stabbing in his heart. He cared little for those books, but he didn't desire inflicting pain to Hiroki.

His anger made him think otherwise.

Loosening his grip on the book he held, it fell onto the floor with a  _slam._  Observing Hiroki, his fury lessened at the sight of a bruise on Hiroki's shoulder. He cursed at himself leaving any remnant of evidence. He soothed himself with the knowledge that Hiroki's lack of strength made him unable to see it.

Hiroki let out another noise, snapping Nowaki from any dark thoughts. He hurried to his side. Standing beside Hiroki's bed, he said nothing, but watched him. Reaching out his hand, he brushed aside Hiroki's bangs from his forehead.

Hiroki opened his eyes. "N-Nowaki."

Nowaki winced at Hiroki's raspy voice. "I'll be right back."

Hurrying out of the room, Nowaki breathed through his nose, trying to calm himself down. Retrieving a glass of water, he returned to witness Hiroki attempting to move his fingers. Hiroki's hopeful smile ticked Nowaki off. He thought Hiroki laid in bed all day, sleeping due to the drugs in his system. To his dismay, Hiroki kept trying to strengthen his limbs in secret.

In his opinion, Hiroki's training was in vain. He would raise up the dosage and keep Hiroki detained in that bed for an extended amount of time.

Hiroki stopped moving his fingers at the sight of him coming through the door.

Nowaki feigned seeing nothing, stopping beside him as he held the glass in his hands. Checking on Hiroki, he noted how the I.V area was inflamed. He tsked. The evidence stared him right in the face. Hiroki exasperated his I.V drip from moving around.

Some sense of relief filled him at the sight of Hiroki struggling to look up at him. He enjoyed having Hiroki dependant on him, less chance of him leaving out of his life again.

"Hiro-san…do I have to keep reminding you not to force yourself?" Gently smiling, Nowaki helped Hiroki into a sitting position. Hiroki's body slacked from lack of sturdiness. "Will you be able to drink on your own?"

"I  _hate_  this bed." Hiroki grimaced. "Just tip it to my mouth, Nowaki."

"If you are sure." Nowaki frowned at his attitude, pressing the glass to Hiroki's lips, he watched him take light sips. "I can give it to you by mouth if you want…"

Hiroki sputtered, spilling the water down the sides of his mouth, he stammered out. "W-What type of stupid shit are you saying? Don't joke about stuff like that!"

Nowaki narrowed his eyes. "It seems you are having trouble. It's not a big deal if I help you."

"Of course it is! You are not putting your lips anywhere near me." Hiroki tried sipping more water, but Nowaki moved the glass away from his reach. "Give me more water Nowaki."

" _No._  You are being completely unreasonable." Nowaki kept the water away from Hiroki, but placed a hand on Hiroki's hip. "If you want more water, you have to let me give it to you by mouth."

" _Fuck no._ " Hiroki growled. "You are acting like a brat, just give me the water and let me sleep."

Nowaki glared at him. "I am  _not_  a brat, I am a  _full grown man_."

"Pft! Oh sure you are all man." Hiroki rolled his eyes. "A real man wouldn't be behaving like this in the first place." Hiroki forced his head to look away from Nowaki. His head spun. Black spots appeared before his eyes. "I'm done sipping water. Leave me alone."

Nowaki tightened his grip on Hiroki's hip. Ignoring the yelp coming from Hiroki, something in him snapped.

* * *

Hiroki heard a clink from the glass of water hitting the desk right next to his bed. Fingers dug into his face, forcing him to turn back toward Nowaki's direction. The blatant fury in Nowaki's eyes caused his skin to goose-pimple. Nowaki's sweet face, marred into a semblance of his normal self, made him shiver in  _fear_.

Those fingers pressed into his skin, creating crescent moon indentations in order to keep his face from moving. Not that Hiroki could force his way out of his grip in the first place. Hiroki tried avoiding eye contact with Nowaki, but the doctor's face closed in, making it impossible for him not to look away.

Hiroki tried hiding any concern from his voice. "Nowaki?"

Nowaki remained silent and began closing the gap between their faces. Those blue eyes stared down at his lips. Hiroki's eyes widened when he realized his intention. He struggled against Nowaki's hold, but his body didn't listen to his commands.

"Don't you dare." Hiroki tried adding bass to his voice, but Nowaki appeared unconcerned. "I am not interested in you."

Their nose touched.

" _Stop._ "

Hiroki felt Nowaki's breath on his lips.

"I will hate you if you continue."

Nowaki stopped for a brief moment, until he stated. "That's fine with me, I don't care anymore."

"W-Wha-"

Nowaki connected their lips.

Nowaki plunged his tongue into Hiroki's mouth and deepened their kiss. Hiroki's eyes widened in disgust as he tried moving away from him to discourage him. This had the opposite effect, he heard Nowaki moan in his mouth and climbed on top of him. Tears prickled in the corners of Hiroki's eyes, revulsion overtook him as he laid there, unable to defend himself.

Nowaki loosened his grip on Hiroki's face, moving his hand onto the nape of his neck. Hiroki began running out of air. He couldn't take this slobbering kiss anymore. When he felt Nowaki's tongue retreat back into his own mouth, he bit Nowaki's lip with all the strength he possessed. He heard his cry of pain.

Nowaki removed his hands from Hiroki to touched his lower lip. Looking down, he saw blood staining his fingers. His breathing grew shallow as he stared at his fingers. He touched his lip again and felt blood go down his chin. One thing registered in his mind: Hiroki bit him hard enough to draw blood.

Hiroki froze and cursed himself for biting Nowaki in the first place. Nowaki's blood landed onto his robe, staining the white fabric pink. He kept a close eye on Nowaki's reaction. In this cabin, Nowaki could do whatever he wanted with him without any witness to help him.

All of a sudden, Nowaki gripped Hiroki's shoulders and pressed himself against him. Hiroki's eyes widened at the sight before him. The crazed look in Nowaki's eyes, the unwiped blood dripping down his face, and ragged breathing. A vast difference from the serene and kind Nowaki from before.

This newly revealed dark side terrified him to the core of his soul.

* * *

Nowaki swooped down and kissed Hiroki. He ignored the obvious uncomfortable squirming underneath him. Loosening his grip on Hiroki's shoulders, he yanked Hiroki's robe open, feeling the soft skin underneath his fingertips. He ran them over Hiroki's nipples, grinning at them hardening to his touch. He suckled on one while tweaking the other one. Loving the taste, he turned his attention onto the other one.

He went back up to Hiroki's neck and kissed him all over the place. He left marks in numerous places, bright red and contrasting against Hiroki's paling skin. Nibbling Hiroki's ear, he failed to notice the tenseness of the body underneath him. Getting up on his knees, he removed his shirt and unbuckled his jeans. Seeing the trouble of taking of his jeans, he got on his feet and shuffled them off.

He got back onto the bed, admiring his own handy work. Hiroki's skin was bruised with his love bites. Taken back by Hiroki's furious expression, he assumed Hiroki felt unattended from his loving touches. He turned his attention back onto Hiroki's body. Wanting to taste every inch of him and more. He pushed Hiroki's legs apart and went in between them. Kissing Hiroki, he pushed his tongue into his mouth.

"S-stop." Hiroki managed to utter out in between their kisses.

Insulting Nowaki did nothing to cease his actions, it spurred him on even more.

Hiroki closed his eyes shut. Wanting to imagine his rapist as someone other than the kind doctor who tended to him. Nowaki's voice broke his attempt at a way of escape. His eyes began filling up with tears.

At the sound of a cap popping open, he snapped his eyes open. He saw Nowaki coating his fingers with lube, applying a generous amount to his fingers. Without any boxer briefs on, Nowaki had no blockage to his entrance.

Hiroki winced at the intrusion. Nowaki slipped his fingers in and out. He didn't take his time and rushed the process. Hiroki whimpered at the fast thrusting into his ass, no care went into the preparation.

Nowaki rubbed lube onto his cock and pressed the head against Hiroki's hole. "Ready?"

"Why are you doing this to me?!" Hiroki screamed as Nowaki continued and thrust into him in one go. He felt himself ripping in half. Nowaki's so called preparation did nothing and left him in a state of pain.

Nowaki on the other hand, groaned in bliss. He didn't wait long before he thrust into Hiroki, trying to find the prostate to blind Hiroki in pleasure. In the meantime, he enjoyed his end of contact. He never thought it would feel this great.

"How are you able to do this?! I'm dead!" Hiroki screamed in desperation. His weak hands hit Nowaki's body, his hits had no affect on stopping his assault. "Stop it! Get off of me! You're hurting me!"

Nowaki didn't stop thrusting. Through his pleasure filled mind, he attempted to console Hiroki through sweet words in his ear. His words did nothing. Hiroki kept on yelling at him, but the volume of his voice lessened the longer they had sex. He heard grunts and saw tears in the corners of Hiroki's eyes. Believing they were from pleasure, he kept on the pace.

Putting his hand in between them, he curled his hand around Hiroki's  _limp_  dick. Furrowing his brows, he slowed down in order to bring Hiroki to hardness. Nothing happened. Frustrated, he applied more pressure with his hand and one his thrusts entered into the right spot. To Hiroki's mortification, he croaked out a pleasurable moan.

This instinctual action prompted Nowaki to thrust into that area. Hiroki shut his eyes tight, urging himself not to feel anything pleasurable in the situation. His body betrayed him. Nowaki hit his prostate head on, unrelenting in his pursuit in wanting him to  _orgasm_.

"Nowaki! Stop!"

Nowaki bit into the column of Hiroki's neck, piercing his skin and blood leaked out the wound. He relished in the feeling of being inside of Hiroki at last. Nothing beat the feeling. He uttered out. "You feel so good."

Hiroki cried out in disgust as Nowaki kept on caressing and kissing his body. Any of his pleads for Nowaki to stop went to deaf ears. None of his vain attempts swayed the man from stopping his actions. Tears trickled down the sides of Hiroki's face, gritting his teeth during a particular bite to his shoulder. Either Nowaki didn't care about him or ignored his cries on purpose.

Nowaki whispered into Hiroki's ear in delight. "You're  _mine_ , forever. No one can take you away from me."

Hiroki snapped. " _Fuck you!_ "

Hiroki denied Nowaki's proclamations, his head twitching side to side to signify his denial. He put his tongue in between his teeth, applying pressure to cut it in half. The blood loss might distract Nowaki to pull out and tend to his injury. In that moment, he realized that he used up  _all_  of his strength to bite Nowaki's bottom lip. He gave up.

Waiting until Nowaki finished became torturous for Hiroki as he stared up at the ceiling. Focusing on a spider hanging from the ceiling lights, a fly struggled in the cross hatched web on the exterior of the lights. Weak and helpless. The spider walked on the web, ready to spin the fly in its silk and consume it.

A realization hit him.

Nowaki trapped him through lies, drugged him up, and weakened him for his sick twisted delusions.

He transformed into a mere weak insignificant fly.

Hiroki cringed at the animalistic groan of his name as Nowaki emptied himself inside of him. Nowaki placed one last kiss on his lips, he clenched his jaw, wanting no lingering taste of him on his lips. He gave no indication of listening Nowaki's sweet sentiments. Avoiding eye contact, his gaze stayed on the ceiling.

Nowaki pulled out of Hiroki before he went inside of the bathroom for a rag. He cleaned himself off, relishing in the lingering spasms of pleasure he received from his beloved. Staring at the mirror, he appreciated his ruffled form and smiled. This appearance came as a result to the previous activities with his dear one.

Hiroki belonged to  _him_.

* * *

Nowaki returned every few hours, giving Hiroki a reprieve from sex. Thrilled at their new connection, he jumped at the chance to join them together once again. He sighed at Hiroki's lack of orgasm during their couplings. From reading the books, he thought his preparation and loving touches brought Hiroki to euphoria. From the lack of semen on Hiroki's stomach, his beloved didn't achieve the same feelings as himself.

Despite this set back, their long extended period of time in the cabin gave him multiple chances to practice. Practice made perfect after all.

In between shifts, he returned home, eager to resume connecting with Hiroki. He didn't forget to feed him first. Hiroki kept his mouth shut, not wanting a single morsel. He stared up at the ceiling, not paying him any mind. His newfound patience prompted him to hook another I.V bag to replace the old one. He didn't want his beloved to die after all.

Contemplating a lower dosage of drugs, he pondered about the dangers. He wanted Hiroki to share in their passions. Fingers digging into his back and legs wrapped around his waist. Yet, he didn't want Hiroki to find a way to escape their sanctuary. It wasn't fun to have a limp lover who didn't participate. This  _might_  happen in a distant future.

He frowned at Hiroki's lack of conversations after sex. Hiroki said  _nothing_  to him. He laid on the bed, staring up at the ceiling, giving him no attention. Hiroki appeared dead to the world.

The fighting and screaming man stayed in a conscious frozen state.

Whenever he kissed him and caressed him, Hiroki flinched. Elation filled Nowaki at the reaction. This meant Hiroki began accepting his love.

Now, his security was set in stone. Without Akihiko around, Hiroki belonged to  _him_. No other man would have him _ever_  again.

* * *

Hiroki did nothing to fight Nowaki. Without his usual strength, his harsh punches did  _nothing_  to defend himself. His words didn't sway Nowaki's sense of honor. When he pleaded, Nowaki upped the harshness of his thrusts. The puncture wound of his I.V reddened even further from the jerks of movement caused from Nowaki assaulting him.

He laid complacent with his fingers clenching every so often. He felt  _everything_. His ass throbbed from the lingering pain. Every time Nowaki cleaned him off, he winced from the soapy water getting into the slight tear in his hole. His body and mind shut down after the third time. Each scene played out in Hiroki's mind on repeat. He tried to convince himself that he hallucinated the whole ordeal.

Nowaki's loving words meant nothing to him. The kind and charming Nowaki dissipated after the first time he touched him. This man broke down the illusion he presented to him. Nowaki seemed unaware of this development and resumed his gentle smiles when he climbed into his bed. Wanting the experience of a true lover, one who loved him.

Hiroki let him do as he wished.

In certain cases, Nowaki finished fast, halting his thrusts.

Afterwards, Nowaki attempted to make pillow talk. Hiroki remained silent and emotionless. Ignoring him, he stared up at the ceiling, hoping his I.V infected in order to stop the influx of medication. Inflicting harm on himself popped into his head. Sometimes, Nowaki forgot utensils in the room when he brought in a tray of food.

The processing of a plan developed inside of his head.

* * *

Tired from the never ending searches for Hiroki, Akihiko lifted his head from his hands and rubbed his eyes. Ignoring the influx of police officers passing through the department, he waited for one of the officers to call his name. Fuyumi and Soshi were inside of the office to file Hiroki's missing person report. He accompanied them to give his own statement for the last time he saw his oldest friend.

Despite Aikawa's insistence on his next novel, his focus returned to Hiroki. His word document stayed empty from his brilliant literary compositions. He thought about using Hiroki's disappearance to cut off her nagging, but he stopped himself before opening his mouth. Using his friend against Aikawa was in poor taste.

His visit to Hiroki's apartment left more questions than answers. Nothing appeared out of place. Hiroki's bed remained well made and there were no evident signs of a struggle. Considering Hiroki kept to himself, asking neighbors about his whereabouts wasn't possible. In any case, the police would conduct their research at the apartment and ask those people themselves.

He berated himself for ignoring Hiroki's claims of someone following him around. Hiroki predicted the identity of the stalker: an old bitter student. Akihiko scoffed at the speculation, Hiroki was strict, but his students returned to give him  _praises_. The few who failed the class, switched to a different professor and moved on with their lives.

He couldn't figure out the identity of this mystery stalker. No suspects popped into his mind. This debacle frustrated him into a foul mood when he tried listing people who might have a reason to harm Hiroki.

Takahiro called him earlier to inform him about finding no sight of their friend. He thanked him for his consideration before leaving his home to meet with Hiroki's parents. In between his family and job, Takahiro tried his best, but couldn't spare any extensive amount of time.

Akihiko thanked himself for having a job which gave him plenty of liberties. He used his free time however he pleased.

Taking his phone out of his pocket, he checked it again for the umpteenth time. Seeing text messages, he swiped the screen. He rolled his eyes at the sight of Aikawa and Isaka's names. He slipped his phone back into his pocket. No texts or calls from Hiroki.

As the door opened, he saw Soshi and Fuyumi walk outside. The officer motioned him to enter, Akihiko stood up, passing Hiroki's distressed parents. Sitting on the chair, he waited for the office to close the door for him to begin his tale.

* * *

After finishing their statements, Akihiko met Soshi and Fuyumi outside of the police station. Exchanging forced smiles, Akihiko lead them to his red sports car. Soshi grimaced at the flashy appearance, but said nothing. Akihiko paid little attention to Soshi's disapproval to his car. He opened the door for them and drove toward the direction of their home. The car ride remained quiet, tense, and awkward. None of them shared a word to one another.

This went on for fifteen minutes before Akihiko thought about something to tell them. He heard Fuyumi's sniffling from behind his driving side seat. It pained him to see Hiroki's parents in such a state. Both of them loved their son more than anything. "How are you handling everything, Mama Fuyumi?" He didn't dare ask anything of Soshi Kamijou.

Fuyumi rubbed her red rimmed eyes with her handkerchief, making no attempts to conceal her consecutive trail of tears. Ever since Soshi broke the news, she cried non-stop. "Not well, Aki-chan. Not well at all."

Soshi glared at Akihiko for his ridiculous question. He relished in seeing Akihiko's visible flinch. Akihiko knew he screwed up. Ignoring him for a moment, he kept on rubbing Fuyumi's shoulder and provided silent support.

Akihiko cringed. "Right." He turned into the street which lead to their home. "What did the police tell you?"

Soshi answered. "They have sent out the report to the proper sector and will send the report throughout the other police stations."

"That's it?"

"Well, the officer questioned if Hiroki left on his own volition. I denied the idea, Hiroki invested his time and energy into his career. There was no way he'd abandon his job or his family."

Fuyumi clenched her handkerchief in her hands. "We planned on collecting search parties to look for Hiroki. I'm not sure where the search will begin. The countryside or this city..."

Akihiko declared. "I can pay for whatever search party we need. Money is  _no_  expense."

"We can  _all_  pay for the search party." Soshi emphasized.

Akihiko nodded his head. "Of course," Stopping in front of their large gate, he breathed through his nose, trying not to show his inner turmoil. "I...I told the police about Hiroki's stalker."

Soshi stopped himself from opening the door. "Stalker?"

Eyes wide and fearful, Fuyumi stuttered out. "W-Who? Who is the stalker, Aki-chan?"

Akihiko bit his lower lip, he admitted to them. "I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know?!" Soshi bellowed out, careful in keeping his voice in a low level for the sake of his wife. "Answer us!"

Akihiko turned off the ignition. Running his fingers through his hair, he turned his head over his shoulder and told them. "Hiroki commented about this person for years and I played it off as nonsense. I chocked it off as paranoia. After he disappeared, this stalker came to mind as one of the suspects."

Soshi demanded. "Any proof?"

Akihiko faced away from them and sighed. "None. Hiroki showed me nothing to prove his story as true." He gripped the steering wheel tight and his knuckles turned white. "I'm sorry."

Fuyumi shook her head, she reached out her hand, patting Akihiko's head. "You did everything you could to remember."

"Not well enough."

TBC


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> If you'd like to buy me a coffee, to help fuel me into writing more chapters, the link is on my tumblr profile: [Lucicelo](https://lucicelo.tumblr.com)
> 
> -Lucicelo

From the I.V entrance on his arm to his torn asshole, Hiroki experienced immense pain throughout each day he woke up from his slumber. Nowaki's continual persistence in fucking him gave him no time to heal. As a result, he learned to block out the pain a majority of the time. His mind entered a space in his subconscious where he stayed until Nowaki stopped thrusting into him. He snapped out of it during different phases of the day where he forgot how many days passed since the last session of fucking. Hiroki attempted to sleep during the time Nowaki left for work, but his aching body prevented him from doing so.

Hearing the sound of Nowaki's incoming footsteps and the door unlocking, plummeted Hiroki's stomach toward the ground. He learned to fear those sounds on account of the actions that happened after Nowaki walked into the room. Too late to fake sleep, Hiroki awaited his doom.

To his relief, Nowaki popped in with a tray of food in his hands, little bowls hiding the flavorless mush and fruit from his sight. Nowaki's beaming smile was on full display. A reminder of the old, kind young man he first met years ago. The determined student who jumped at the chance to improve his life and further himself to a higher level. A full picture of an unassuming display of gentleness and good hospitality.

A  _sham_.

A  _complete_   _sham_.

His heart kept beating faster the more time Nowaki spent in the room. Nowaki's mere presence and towering height brought a tremble to his body.

"Good morning!" Nowaki set the tray on the bedside table, he hid his annoyance at having gotten a call in from work. He prepared this breakfast to feed Hiroki in bed. "I brought you some food."

Hiroki struggled in opening his mouth. The act of eating sounded tiring, but he needed to eat to fuel his lingering energy.  _Anything_  sounded delicious to him.

Sitting on the side of the bed, Nowaki picked up a bowl of porridge mixed with protein and crushed vitamins. After weeks without constant meals, Hiroki couldn't stomach fatty or heavy foods. Soups, porridge, soft foods, stayed inside of his beloved. He grabbed the spoon, scooping up a small amount, then blew on the food to cool it down.

After many nights of passion, he wanted to bring the life back into Hiroki. He realized Hiroki's lack figure on the bed, lowering down the passion down in the room. His imagination drew up the image of Hiroki clinging onto him and speaking to him in a loving tone. Nursing his dear one back to health brought an elation inside of him as he planned the counteractions to the medication he originally injected into Hiroki.

Holding the spoon in the air, Hiroki opened his mouth in anticipation, a glint developed in Nowaki's eyes. "You'll have to kiss me before taking a bite."

Hiroki's jaw shut in defiance.

"Now, now, I won't let you have a bite without a kiss." Nowaki sing songed.

Without a choice, or power to defend himself, Hiroki complied. Nodding his head, he gritted his teeth to hide his disgust when Nowaki beamed in delight. Eating the spoonful given to him, he swallowed the mush just as Nowaki kissed him.

Nowaki's closed eyes hid Hiroki's true feelings.

Hiroki fought to keep down the little food in his stomach before vomiting it back up on Nowaki's lap. A wave of satisfaction filled him as Nowaki yelped, jumping off of the bed, trying to keep the bed clean from his soiled clothes. Nowaki didn't lash out at him for the act, but left to change out of his clothes in a hurry.

When Nowaki returned, he didn't appear bothered from the vomit. The cheerful voice irritated Hiroki to the core. Such a  _delusional_  wretch. "Don't worry my beloved, the medicine tends to trick the brain into thinking you're full. Nothing to worry about. I'll try to lower the dosage so you can eat a real meal now."

Departing with a one-sided kiss, Nowaki hurried out of the room, missing the grimace from turning around too fast. "I'll try to come home for dinner!"

Waiting until Nowaki distanced himself from the room, Hiroki relaxed on the uncomfortable sheets. He couldn't believe Nowaki  _kissed_  him after he hacked up his meager breakfast.  _Disgusting_.

His own voice sounded strained to his own ears when he muttered. "I hope you  _choke_  and  _die_ , Kusama."

* * *

Nowaki remembered Hiroki's medication when he returned home from grocery shopping. With bags of suitable food in his arms, the idea sparked in his head while ticking off the usual routine for Hiroki. In a panic, he dropped the groceries in the living room sofa and hurried toward Hiroki's room. Unlocking the door and entered the room in quick haste, he saw the I.V bag almost bare of medicine. His dearest one laid in bed, pain wrecking his body from the dilution of the I.V bags. Hiroki's vision stayed forward, giving him no remote attention.

When he checked on the arm, Nowaki tutted at the sight of Hiroki's bruised arm, redness spread up the arm and immense purple spots gathered around the entryway. Brushing a thumb on the wound, Hiroki yelped in pain. Taking a mental note to disinfect the area, he left the room, retrieving a saline drip from the medicine cabinet in the kitchen and enclosed medication wipes.

He returned from his errand with the materials in his arms. Disinfecting the left arm, Hiroki's arm jolted from his touch, he moved around to push up the right robe sleeve in order to clean up the area of the right arm. With the swiftness that came with his medical training, he inserted the needle in Hiroki's right arm. Hiroki didn't make a sound to suggest he felt a prick or anything.

Nowaki continued on inspecting Hiroki's body for other damages. In his delirious happiness in having Hiroki in his life, he forgot to do the usual check ups. Hiroki recovered from his accident, but his body weakened because of his medical  _treatment_. So far, he saw nothing too worrying. With hospital equipment in the other room and his E.R training, Nowaki had nothing to fear in keeping Hiroki alive.

Throughout this process, Hiroki fought himself not to cry from this sudden inspection. Having grown used to a fuck and finished method, this prolonged torture didn't help his state of mind. Feeling Nowaki spread his legs open, Hiroki prepared himself to blank out into a empty space to retreat from Nowaki's touches.

" _Oh_." The disappointment showed clear in Nowaki's tone. Hiroki's hole appeared bright red with large tears on different areas. "We...can't join together for a while. Hiro-san, why didn't you tell me anything?" He didn't seem bothered from witnessing Hiroki's legs slip back down.

Hiroki bit his tongue, as hard as he could, to stop his snarl of anger. No use getting lost in his hurt and fury. Nowaki pulled out and cleaned his ass blindly through using a soapy towel. A soapy as fuck towel which aggravated his open wounds.

For once, Nowaki's doctor instincts kicked in and he thought of checking his abused butt for injuries. At least, this discovery saved him a couple of weeks before he healed. Although, he suspected Nowaki would clear him earlier due to the sex manic euphoria Nowaki entered when fucking him.

Nowaki rubbed Hiroki's knee in a sign of comfort. "I'm so sorry. I know what will help. A nice bubble bath! Be right back." Going into the adjacent bathroom, he turned on the tap,

Hiroki wondered about drowning himself to escape his Hell.

* * *

As Nowaki lowered him into the bubble bath. Hiroki hissed when the water made contact with his reopened injuries. Any movement brought on a dull pain and Nowaki's jostling aggravated the scabs to tear. Nowaki whispered soothing words of comfort, all empty meanings to Hiroki's ears.

Keeping his line of sight toward the wall, he ignored Nowaki's wandering hands. Flinching at the brushing fingertips on his lower back, his ass clenched at the implications of those touches. Nowaki made it a priority to touch him whenever given the chance.

"I ended up picking a nice jasmine scented body wash. It's for sensitive skin." Nowaki picked up a rag and began washing Hiroki's arm. "Does it smell nice? Hiro-san?"

Hiroki wrinkled his nose,  _despising_  the choice Nowaki picked. In a different time, he might have tolerated the scent, maybe even re-gifted it to a family member. Akihiko, Takahiro and his parents,  _knew_  about his pickiness over scents in general. Basic to light scents for him.

The smell of old books peaked his interest than cologne.

Droplets of water trickled down the faucet, hitting the water near his submerged feet. A distraction for him to focus on as Nowaki caressed his lower stomach with the soapy rag.

Dropping the rag into the water, Nowaki frowned. Moving his right hand to massage Hiroki's shoulder, a tense and frigid shoulder. "Hiro-san? You don't look so well. Am I hurting you?"

Hiroki bit the inside of his cheek.

Losing his patience, Nowaki clasped his hand around Hiroki's face, forcing him to turn toward him. He dug his fingers into the skin, feeling the indentations of Hiroki's teeth underneath his fingertips. "Stop  _ignoring_  me." Hiroki averted his eyes to the side. "Why aren't you  _looking_  at  _me_? Hiro-san.  _Look at me._ "

Hiroki turned his gaze onto Nowaki. "Go fuck yourself."

Nowaki frowned. "Now, now, you shouldn't say such hurtful things." Hiroki flinched at the added pressure of those finger. Nowaki dug even deeper, creating crescent moon shapes on the skin. "I know you're in pain, but it doesn't mean you can lash out at me."

Looking through Nowaki's concerned face, Hiroki believed none of this well placed mask. "I can do whatever I want."

" _How_?" Nowaki laughed, malice showed through, Hiroki shivered under his fingers. "You're stuck here. No one  _knows_  you're here. Besides, these drugs have broken down your muscle strength to a point where you  _need_  me. You're going to stay by my side for the rest of  _your_  life." Releasing Hiroki from his grip, he clenched his jaw at the marring indentations on Hiroki's perfect face. "Ah...my beloved...I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you."

Tuning Nowaki out from his mind, Hiroki kept his mouth shut. He jerked his face away from his abuser, not wanting to spare another second to look at him. Catching sight of his reflection in the water, he saw the deep dark circles, wounds on his jawline, the tiredness and defeat, any remaining pride kept him from crying. Showing emotion or pleading to Nowaki did  _nothing_. Anytime he tried voicing his pain, Nowaki picked out the words that suited to his interests.

"Now...how about I get you into a new robe." Nowaki hoisted Hiroki into a princess style hold and returned into the bedroom. "Well, you can use one of  _my_  old robes." The utter delight in dressing Hiroki in his clothes made him ecstatic. He always dreamed to wake up alongside Hiroki after a night of passion with an over sized shirt on to cover the bruises on Hiroki's body.  _His shirt._

Laying Hiroki down onto one side of the bed, to prevent wet spots, he left Hiroki without fear of him moving around. Hiroki shivered from the cold air brushing against his body. Closing his eyes, he listened to Nowaki return and the bed squeaked from the pressure of him getting on the bed. Nowaki moved him and wrapped him in a robe with an overwhelming smell of his own cologne. The familiar scent provided a bit of comfort.

During the process, he fell into his continual pit of exhaustion, hoping to stay unconscious for longer and forever. Every time he fell asleep, he dreamed of nothing, nothing to comfort him other than darkness.

He woke up hours later to Nowaki watching him sleep.

* * *

Sitting in her son's apartment, the landlord handed them a copy of the key upon their request, Fuyumi stirred another cup of tea. Adding any sweetener made the liquid sour and bitter to her tongue, but she scooped another teaspoon into her mug. The spoon clinked against the ceramic, bringing noise to the otherwise dead quiet room.

She tried distracting herself from her new reality. Nothing grasped her attention long enough where she didn't stop and break down into tears. Once she ran out of tears, she laid on her bed, clenching her phone on her nightstand. She kept her phone well charged, hoping for her son to call and wake her up from her nightmare.

In some form of relief, her husband's relatives left her alone in her grief. Many acknowledged her immense love for her only child and found kicking her down in her state as tacky and impolite. At least, her husband overheard these comments when he eavesdropped on them during their initial visit the first month of Hiroki's disappearance. Ever since, they made a weekly visit, carrying food and awkward comforting words.

Their constant visits brought Fuyumi to seek refuge in her son's apartment and his old childhood home. Without anyone answering the door, they assumed either one of them left with search efforts.

She stayed clear of his room, keeping to the living room, bathroom, and kitchen.

During her disappearing acts, she left her husband messages of her location before he worried about her as well. Leaving no word or a prior phone call was cruel in the current situation. Despite his strong front, her husband slept little to nothing during the night. The stress of his business and Hiroki's disappearance aged him even faster than before.

Her heart clenched at the image of her son in the worst possible scenarios.

Hearing someone walk into the kitchen, Fuyumi calmed herself down. Placing hand on her chest, she kept her eyes on the amber liquid of her tea. The only two people in Hiroki's apartment were her and Soshi. No one else.

Soshi broke the silence with a hesitant question. "Are you alright?"

Fuyumi clenched her tea cup tight, making her hand tremble. " _Stop_."

"Fuyumi-"

" _Stop_  asking me that  _question_!" She snapped her head toward her husband, giving him a seething glare. "I'm  _not_  going to  _die_. I'm taking my medication and eating  _all_  three meals of the day. I haven't gotten an episode in almost five months!"

Soshi pulled out a chair and sat in the chair next to her. "I understand, but Fuyumi, you haven't slept well in  _weeks_."

" _Oh_? And how am I supposed to react? Our son is missing, we don't know if he's alive or dead, and the police have found  _nothing_. They still think he ran off on us and don't believe someone kidnapped him." Fuyumi tossed her spoon onto the table, cringing at the possible dent on her son's kitchen table. " _Damn_   _it_..." She let out a sob and slumped on the chair.

Scooting closer to her, Soshi wrapped his arms around her, rubbing her back as she kept on sobbing into her hands. "Fuyumi, my love, Akihiko and I are trying our best to find him. Also...Akihiko left to the mountainous areas in secret. He didn't want to give the stalker any clue of his search."

Fuyumi rubbed her eyes with her sweater sleeve, drying off her tears from her face. She found a bit of humor in this situation. Remembering Akihiko throughout the years, her son's friend despised going outside unless it pertained to a sectioned off garden. "Aki-chan? In the mountains?"

"Ridiculous. Isn't it?" Soshi tightened his grip around her. "I'm sure he won't survive without driving around in his car."

Fuyumi laid her forehead on Soshi's shoulder. "I'm...so tired."

Knowing full well she didn't mean sleep, Soshi rubbed her back. "I am too."

* * *

Finishing another day of searching throughout the countryside, Akihiko slumped onto the bed of his hotel room. An expensive hotel which met his high demands and pickiness in overall comfort. The woman at the counter recognized his face and placed him in the best room of the hotel, after he signed a random scrap of paper of course. She kept any inquiries of his visit down to a minimum and assured him complete privacy. Thankful to her discrete professionalism, he penned the idea on leaving a nice tip for the hotel.

Before he entered his room, he sent a message to Soshi to prevent himself from telling the lack of good news to Fuyumi. Taking note of her heart condition, he went through preventative measures to keep the shocks to a minimum. The poor woman appeared frazzled and lacked sleep from the constant worry about the health and well being of her son. Her pride and joy. Soshi appeared no less awful than his wife, he funded the town searches, his devastation increased with each passing day.

At some point, The couple agreed on presenting their son's face on the news, giving the police force and their search parties, strangers to search for Hiroki. Tips flooded the phone number listed on TV, but few gave enough information to bring them a clue to Hiroki's location.

Fuyumi feared that whoever took Hiroki might hurt him after the news broadcast, but the family manor received no threatening phone calls.

Not that it calmed her concerns.

Sighing while rubbing his eyes, he cradled his face with his hands. Eyes bloodshot from lack of sleep, tossing back espresso shots to perk him up, his determination in locating his best friend urged him on.

Grimacing at his state of clothes, sweat stains, dirt patches, grass stains on his slacks, and dirt on his shoes, he got off the bed and removed his clothing on the way to the bathroom. Turning on the shower, he waited until the room steamed from the hot water and he hopped in. Drenching himself in water, he closed his eyes, losing himself in his thoughts.

Days of searching showed  _no_  results.

 _Nothing_.

No one noticed anything different in the different towns he visited throughout the week. The townspeople didn't hesitate in answering his questions, giving him no trouble in his search. His rare photo of Hiroki smiling, in their group photo with Takahiro, brought better results than the usual frown of disdain that Hiroki sported.

He tried keeping himself inconspicuous, but his red sports car brought more attention than he liked. Just because he went searching for friend, didn't mean he disregarded his own personal comfort. This decision slowed down his process because of fans recognizing his face and dodging their questions before turning it into a conversation about any sight of Hiroki.

Before telling Soshi about him leaving the city, he made one last attempt to search the surrounding cities on his own. During this time, he made one last visit to Hiroki's job, trying to see if Hiroki told his concerns to them. As predicted, Hiroki kept his personal business shut from everyone from his job. Miyagi, Hiroki's co-worker, handed him a box of cards from Mitsuhashi faculty, students, and graduates from the university. He didn't dare read them. Instead, he kept the makeshift mailbox shut, and away from his curious eyes.

Despite Hiroki's harsh reputation and high expectations, his previous, current, repeat students, and the staff,  _missed_  him. Everyone wondered why their  _Demon_ _Kamijou_ vanished.

Hiroki joked about his students hating him for his homework load, assuming they respected his teachings, but not the man himself.

Under the spray of the water, tears gathered in his eyes. Rubbing his face, he blamed Hiroki for causing his emotional state of mind. He had not cried since  _childhood_.

Damn Hiroki for making him care.

"You're more loved than you think, Hiroki."

**To be continued...**


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> If you'd like to buy me a coffee, to help fuel me into writing more chapters, the link is on my tumblr profile: [Lucicelo](https://lucicelo.tumblr.com)
> 
> -Lucicelo

**In a podium in front of a crowd of reports, stood Kamijou Soshi and Fuyumi, alongside their representation team.** **_Soshi wore his usual business suit with a plain green tie and polished black dress shoes. With his hair combed to the side, his stress white hairs peeked through his usual dark tresses. Right next to him, Fuyumi wore a dark red kimono with a flower patterned obi around her waist. She wore minimal makeup, which didn't disguise her tired state as her husband._ **

_**Their lawyer, Motou Jiro, began the news conference with a** **beginning** **speech. Lights flashed from photographers snapping a few photos, before ceasing, letting the lawyer continue. Jiro revealed certain aspects about the case, but kept major** **breakthroughs** **under lock. Assuming the kidnapper watched the news, they might escape with Hiroki or dispose of him due someone locking on their trail. No one wanted to receive the call of finding Hiroki's corpse, displayed in a** **degrading** **manner.** _

_**Upon finishing his statement, Jiro informed the reporters to begin their questions. He pointed at a** _ _**young woman, wearing a smart looking black blazer and pencil skirt.** _ _**She held up a microphone when she asked. "Is there any new evidence which proves that Kamijou Hiroki was in fact kidnapped and didn't disappear on his own volition?"** _

_**Soshi wrapped his arm around Fuyumi's waist, giving her a silent manner of comfort from any unnerving and hurtful questions.** _

_**Jiro informed the reporter. "Considering the** **multiple** **statements made from personal sources of the victim, Kamijou Hiroki built his career at Mitsuhashi. His relationships with close family members and his friends, have remained strong and unyielding. Nothing in his life suggests any reason for him to walk out of everything."** _

_**"In the last news conference, we heard** _ **no** _**information on a suspect.** _ **Is** _**there a** _ **new** _**suspect in this case?"** _

_**Jiro answered. "The police still have not found a person of interest, but, the family believes a third party, targeted Kamijou Hiroki for an unspoken reason."** _

**_Answering the old questions with some updated information, Jiro kept a straight face. Having done many different press conferences, he grew accustomed to repeated questions. He hid his annoyance from the public view._ ** **_A few haughty reporters tested his patience as well, but he surprised them through skillful diversions. After taking up a good portion of the press conference, he stopped the questions._ **

_**"Before we conclude this meeting, my clients, Kamijou Soshi and Fuyumi, have decided to speak."** _ _**Stepping aside, Jiro let Soshi take his place one the microphone.** _

_**Removing his hand from his wife's waist, Soshi moved toward the podium, his neck tense from him clenching his jaw to hide his nervousness. Fuyumi followed alongside him,** **stood** **right beside him, she held her hands in front of her body.** _

**_Clearing his throat, Soshi said "Thank you all for coming." The snaps of photos blinded the couple for a moment, Soshi resumed speaking. "In the last interview, we let our representative, Motou Jiro to speak for us, but we decided on giving our own personal statements._ ** **_These last few months have...shaken us to the core. My wife, Fuyumi, and I, never imagined this happening to us. To learn that your child is missing is a nightmare of any parent._ ** **_"_ **

**_Fuyumi stepped forward, looming close to the nearest microphone, she added further into her husband's response. "Throughout this process, we_ _have taken to holding onto hope. That's all we can do at this point. The police and the search groups are doing all in their power to search for Hiroki. Our son is a_ fighter _, wherever he is being held captive, I know he will come back to us."_**

_**"We have looked into all the** **possibilities of what happened to our son** **. Despite the theories online, we crossed off a majority of the ones that Motou-san has shown us. We have taken to seeing nothing on the internet on the advice of Motou-san as well."** _

**_Fuyumi blinked back her tears, "Whoever this kidnapper is, please, give us back our son. Money is no object. We will gladly give anything you want for you to surrender Hiroki to us." She reached out her hand and held Soshi's hand in between her own. "Hiroki, if you left on your own volition, we'd rather know than to endure all this suffering. Please, I can't handle all this waiting."_ **

**_Soshi pulled his wife into his arms, hiding her tears from the view of the cameras. "We will never stop praying for your return, Hiroki." He looked straight into one of the news cameras._ ** **_"If you manage to hear or see this news conference, son, know that your mother and I love you."_ ** **_  
_ **

* * *

_"WHY ARE THEY SAYING THOSE THINGS?!"_

A loud scream woke Hiroki up from his sleep. Jerking to the side, he hissed his breath at straining his body. His muscles ached and the area in his lower body seemed to tear again. Forcing himself to lay still, he moved his head enough to give him a better view of the room. Opening his eyes a bit, still clouded from remnants of sleep, he saw no sight of his captor. He breathed out a sigh of relief.

_"NO! THEY WILL NEVER GET HIM BACK! HE'S MINE! MINE!"_

The scathing tone brought Hiroki to freeze in his bed. Keeping his breathing light and slow, he turned his eyes on the entrance to his room. He saw the light peeking from underneath the cracks. Not knowing the time, whether early morning or late afternoon, he stopped calculating the exact time sometime ago. The frustration of losing track of time made his capture in that cabin more than unbearable to stand.

Trying to strain his ear, he heard the muffling of the television from the living room. Nowaki moved into the cabin one early morning where noise filtered out from beyond his door. Beforehand, Nowaki left him in a coma like state whenever he left the cabin. He assumed as such, considering the first few weeks, he spent in a daze which left him loopy. He remembered little of the initial stages of his capture.

From the working cable, he learned to gauge Nowaki's overall mood. Nowaki's mood strayed to a positive one whenever he laughed at a program, but this didn't give a complete calculation. A smiling Nowaki didn't guarantee a sane and agreeable one who listened to him with an attentive ear.

" _FUCK YOU ALL! HE'LL NEVER LEAVE THIS CABIN ALIVE!"_

Hearing the result of his stay at the cabin, Hiroki's blood went ice cold. He tried keeping up the idea of finding a manner of escape and bumping into  _anyone_. Whatever Nowaki heard on tv, it might result in a tighter restriction in his lack of actions. Knowing his family, they searched for him, and went to the news to spread news of his disappearance.

Loud footsteps ran toward the direction of his room, Hiroki evened out his breathing. Hiroki faked sleep just in time for Nowaki to open the door in a harsh, but controlled way. The doorknob  _didn't_  hit the wall, creating a slam would have  _waken_  him up, breaking his rouse before it began. Hasty footsteps made it to his side of the bed, socks shuffled against the wooden floor. Louder and louder, the more Nowaki closed the distance between them.

Hiroki prayed he appeared slack and relaxed from being in a deep sleep.

"I don't know why...why are they saying those things?" Nowaki muttered to himself, not even trying to keep the volume at a low level. "I'm treating you well, taking care of you, keeping you safe from the outside world...your mother and father shouldn't have said those things."

Hiroki's stomach fluttered at hearing about his parents. The last time Nowaki ever spoke about them, he fibbed about attending  _his_   _funeral_. Any positive news beat dealing with Nowaki's ever changing feelings. Whether Nowaki spouted out love sonnets or threatened him, Hiroki learned to keep his mouth shut and let him express those repressed love confessions. Speaking out those feelings seemed to bring  _positive_  and  _negative_  results. More than anything, Nowaki forced a kiss on him to end the sentences.

Nowaki brushed Hiroki's long bangs to the side, ones which began obscuring those brown eyes from his view. " _I'm_  protecting you. Yes. You're supposed to be with  _me_."

 _Lies_.

 _Utter lies_.

Hiroki paid close attention to Nowaki's words. The more he listened, the more he saw a noticeable descent into madness. From what he gathered so far, Nowaki invested his whole life into attaining him and seemed to not know what to do with himself. Entering the medical field didn't come from compassion for people, it stemmed from using the disposable equipment in his plans. A social worker didn't have the most resources, not unlike a doctor.

"Your mother and father have no idea what they're saying." Nowaki curled a finger and caressed Hiroki's cheek, no remnants of his fingers digging into Hiroki's skin remained. "They'll stop searching for you soon enough. No one has any idea to look for you around this area. I mean...you didn't wear the clothing from the crash when I brought you here. Bloodstains all over the place. I changed your clothes and when we were on the train, people thought you were a drunk who I helped back home."

Nowaki bent down pressing a kiss on Hiroki's brow.

Hiroki couldn't control the flinch of the skin to skin contact.

Nowaki didn't notice, chose to ignore it, or choked it off on random sleep movements.

"Oh well, the idea of your parents seeing you again isn't happening. Why did I ever think they would enjoy an update on our lives? A letter, maybe a photo or two. Anything to calm their worries." Nowaki sighed. "At this point, they really believe you were kidnapped, my beloved. How gullible of them. I can't risk  _anyone_  coming in between us." Looking to the watch on his wrist, he sighed. "I have to go make dinner. Too bad you can't have any for the moment. You loved my cooking back then..."

Nowaki left without another word. Closing the door behind him, he didn't lock the door behind him. Hiroki wasn't able to move an inch out of the bed. The lack of eating provided Hiroki no energy to work off. Whistling a jolly tone, he went into the kitchen, not at all fazed by the tears he remembered in the eyes of Hiroki's parents.

Opening his eyes, Hiroki attempted to stretch out his fingers. After a few tries, he grew tired and stopped himself from overexerting himself.

"I need to escape..." A streak of determination surged through Hiroki's body, his voice raspy from a dry throat. "Mother and father are... looking for me."

* * *

Opening the door to his hotel room, Akihiko frowned at the sight in front of him. Wearing over the top protective hiking gear, including short khaki pants, a draw string hat, a raincoat, and brown boots, Takahiro posed with his arms on his hips with a beaming smile on his face. He even carried a large backpack filled to the brim with items. Whatever he carried, Akihiko knew for sure they were covered for their searches.

Takahiro straightened himself up, declaring with a eager voice. "Aki-chan! I'm here to help! Don't worry, we'll find Hiro-chan soon! I have two weeks of paid leave to help out. Nami-chan is wishing us luck back home and she'll keep a look out for Hiro-chan in our province."

Tired from lack of sleep, Akihiko's filter thinned out enough for him to utter out. "What the  _fuck_  are you wearing?"

Takahiro slumped a bit at the reaction from Akihiko, nonetheless, he remained bright on his decision. "I need to stay well protected while we go through the wilderness. Manami bought these for me before I left home, she even bought bug repellent for us to use." He saw the wear on Akihiko's buttoned up shirt and slacks, and scratches on those usual polished shoes. "Don't tell me you're going to look around in those clothes?"

Akihiko's attention went back to his clothes, his grimace showed his displeasure at forgetting about his appearance.  _Again_. No wonder some of the people gave him a second look in this newer town.

"You're coming in and waiting for me. I'm not leaving this room looking like this."

"Got it, boss!" Takahiro waltzed in, cringing at the state of Akihiko's hotel room. A real mess. He spotted different clothes in the oddest spots and a open laptop on one of the tables of the room. "Ah...are you working on your novel while going on your searches?"

Akihiko closed the door, rubbing the back of his neck as he yawned. "No. Aikawa isn't expecting one for a few months? I don't know. I voiced a hiatus until further notice. I've taken to blocking her number at this point. Why do you ask?"

Knowing of his friend's tendency to forget the state of his penthouse over work, Takahiro tried making his explanation as delicate as possible. "You tend to forget the world when you're working. Your hotel room is...quite frankly, Aki-chan, it's a mess."

Akihiko shifted through his suitcase and looked for decent looking clothes. He snatched up a t-shirt and jeans. No use ruining more of his clothing because of looking through grass. "It's  _just_  clothes." Changing in front of Takahiro, he tossed his old clothing onto the floor.

Takahiro cringed at the blatant disregard for cleanliness. After raising Misaki on his own, who left little mess, and having a clean home with his wife, seeing any form of uncleanliness made his skin crawl. Turning his gaze away from the mess, he ignored the call to shuffle everything into a pile. Akihiko wouldn't appreciate him taking his own actions on possessions that were not his own. He went there to look for Hiroki, not spend the day organizing his best friend's suitcase.

* * *

Nowaki's mood plummeted once entering through the hospital doors. Working in a smaller local hospital brought him a staff where a majority participated in gossip. Although, this happened in larger companies as well, even his old hospital gossiped between one another. From the moment he stepped foot through the front doors, rumors about himself spread throughout the different departments. Many questioned his reasons for moving into a small town for his residency, but these rumors lessened the more he interacted with everyone. His perfected mask fooled everyone into feeling off about sneaking behind his back to utter any unsavory words about him.

A backtrack from his good image, came in the new  _thorns_  on his side. The women on staff who saw no ring on his finger and asked about whether or not he had a  _girlfriend_. He wanted nothing more than to boast about Hiroki, to coo about his  _handsomeness_  and  _prowess_  in bed, but seeing Hiroki's image plastered on the news soured this idea before it started. Using his name might bring in suspicion to himself. Besides, he enjoyed keeping his beloved a secret from others. He never enjoyed seeing other people glancing at Hiroki when he first followed him around in between work and classes.

Overhearing people speak about his beloved, as if they had any clue about his entire life, agitated him. This sudden wave of empathy didn't happen before Hiroki went missing. He overheard students scathing remarks about professor Kamijou on more than one occasion to know his popularity on campus: a strict professor who babied no one. Seeing those same students sharing their experiences on the news, irritated him to the bone.

He hated having to see his future in-laws as the enemy, but they went on national television to spread awareness of Hiroki's disappearance. He disappeared from the public, but he was in his care and protection. Meaning, he wasn't missing at all, just that they didn't inform the family of them leaving the city. Their interjection into their business poked the wrong person.

Overhearing the staff of the hospital comment on Hiroki's appearance, the good looks inherited from his parents, stirred the fires of jealousy.  _None_  of them  _deserved_  him.

Pausing near a door, he feigned drinking his cold espresso, while waving with a painted smile at passing employees. The assumption of Hiroki's disappearance made another round on the floor. Peering around the corner, three people, two woman and one man, stopped in the hallway to speak to one of the doctors. After exchanging greetings, the true topic of conversation began.

"I feel horrible for that poor couple. The mother has a heart condition and looked so weak on camera. Who knows how bad her condition is. This situation with her only son might push her to her limit." A nurse sighed out while holding onto the clipboard of one of their patients. "The father didn't look any better."

"Do you think it was a kidnapping to extort money? The Kamijou family owns a rich business. Not well known, but had longevity from decades ago." A nurse's assistant leaned against the door, holding her coffee in between her hands. "I'm surprised we haven't heard any news of any ransom."

"A ransom would have happened on the first week. I don't think this is a ransom situation at all." A male voice chimed in, he wore a male version of the nurse's uniform. "Kamijou would have died real fast if no one in the family paid the full amount written by the kidnappers. They have more than enough money to save their son. Besides, the parents looked wretched on tv, there is no way that they don't love him."

The doctor nodded his head. "You're right. We might have heard of the aftermath if this was a ransom situation. In a way, this is positive news, there is a chance for this young man to be found. Although, the motive of his disappearance and or kidnapping is not known to the public."

Nurse's assistant sipped her coffee. "It's been what? A few months since this guy vanished? The chance of the family finding him are slim."

Nowaki downed his chilled espresso, clenching the plastic cup in his trembling fist.

**To be continued...**


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: First post of 2018!
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> If you'd like to buy me a coffee through using Ko-Fi, to help fuel me to update even more, you can find the link on my tumblr: [Lucicelo](https://lucicelo.tumblr.com)
> 
> -Lucicelo

Hiroki looked down at his dark orange, home knitted sweater, recognizing it as one of the old ones his mother knitted for him on one of their many Christmas' together. Real warm and snug. Made with love and care. Nothing out of place. It even smelled like her rose scented perfume as he moved closer to the fabric and sniffed. Getting himself comfortable, he noticed that he sat under a kotatsu. Lifting his eyes from the kotatsu, he saw a bowl of clementines in the center, salted peanuts in a smaller bowl, an old scuffed tea pot on a coaster, and a variety of cups, set in their designated spots. Reaching out his hand, he moved his cup closer to himself, before lifting it up and sipping from it.

His body shivered from the tea warming his chest. A welcome feeling. So comforting. He missed sitting underneath a kotatsu, watching an old show from his childhood, or a recommendation, while relaxing throughout the afternoon. Letting himself laze around his home while worrying little about his job.

The silence dissipated into a variety of voices. Men, women, the shrieks of a child. Hiroki paused. Setting his cup down onto the wooden top, he saw people in his peripheral vision. Upon realizing the sudden company, Hiroki snapped his face toward the filled up spaces of the kotatsu. Tears prickled his eyes at the sight of his parents, sharing a spot together, across from him, while commenting about family with Akihiko, who sat to his right. On his left, sat Takahiro and Manami, who kept glancing at him. Their small child, Mahiro, rolled a clementine on the table while sitting on his mother's lap.

Hiroki felt the words die in his throat from the relief. He spent  _days_ ,  _weeks_ ,  _months_ , in Kusama Nowaki's captivity. He wondered when he escaped and recovered enough to have company in _his home_. Inspecting the room, he recognized his own apartment. From the large bookshelves, to the portraits of himself with family and friends, a lingering smell of pine scented cleaner, and the

Takahiro broke through his thoughts, Hiroki heard his concern, loud and clear when he asked him. "Hiro-chan, are you okay? You suddenly stopped talking to us all of a sudden."

Manami tilted her head to the side, bringing a wave of her chocolate curls over her shoulder. "Hiroki-san?"

"Hi-chan!" Mahiro repeated, thinking saying Hiroki's name turned into a game.

All of a sudden, his parents and Akihiko paused in their conversation. His mother reached out her hand, trying to curl her nimble fingers around his hand, but she stopped herself.

Hiroki opened his mouth, nothing came out. Wrinkling his nose, he tried again, the words died in his throat. Clutching his throat, he felt for anything off and gulped. Physically, he felt nothing hurting him inside of his throat. Looking around the circle of people, their faces blurred. His living room darkened, pitch black, leaving a spotlight on each individuals.

Akihiko disappeared from his spot. The light turned off.

_Where did he go?!_

All of a sudden, Takahiro and his family vanished. The light turned off.

_No!_

His stomach plunged down to the floor. Palms sweating, his heart raced.

In a panic, he stood up, walking around the kotatsu as the snacks and kotatsu vanished, leaving his parents sitting on the floor. His mother clutched her chest, falling down onto the floor. His father jerked around, eyes rolled behind his head before he fell on top of his mother. The light turned off.

Hiroki let out a screamless cry of despair. His knees gave out from under him, forcing him down onto the sudden dark floor. Hiding his despair through lowering his face to the floor, his tears trickled down his cheeks, losing himself in his grief. He badgered himself for his naivete. He should have  _known_  better. His sudden ability to move around was  _impossible_  and an indicator of this nightmare.

"Why are you on the floor?"

Hiroki's breath hitched. Lifting up his head, his eyes widened at the sight of Nowaki, standing right in front of him.

Stone faced, Nowaki knelt down, forcing his chin up, to stare direct in his eyes. He saw no affection or supposed love in those blue eyes. Nowaki applied pressure to his chin, he let out a whimper, the first sign of noise from himself.

Nowaki smirked, bringing some life into his icy stare. Letting go of Hiroki's chin, Nowaki maneuvered his hands to grab onto Hiroki's wrists. He pulled Hiroki into a crouch position, not at all gentle in his actions.

 _"No one_  will save you." Nowaki gripped Hiroki's wrists, his sneer stretched out into a cold smile. "I told you, Hiro-san. You will  _never_  leave me. You're  _mine_."

Hiroki jerked himself away, managing to get his hands back. Nowaki laughed. His smile stretched beyond his cheeks, morphing the smile as clown like. The chilling laughter echoed throughout the room.

Hiroki's vision blurred, giving him reprieve from looking at Nowaki. His head snapped to the side as his vision went black.

He woke up to a familiar ceiling. Registering the dream, Hiroki broke down. The limited amount of tears inside of him dried up, leaving him to conceal the audible evidence of his sorrow through gritted teeth.

* * *

The next time Nowaki made his appearance, Hiroki flinched at the sight of him. His nightmare replayed in his mind. Over and over. Breaking his spirit in his dreams, he heard words about the facts of his reality.

Dream Nowaki taunted him in a relentless cycle of scathing words. He didn't touch him after the first dream, but his words reached him. Nowaki's handsome smile, turned into a laughable imitation which mocked him. Those warm blue eyes, turned icy and cold, lacking the proclaimed love Nowaki repeated whenever he saw him. The intent behind those words  _scared_  him.

Nowaki could rape him again at  _any_  given time.

His torn hole hurt whenever he moved. A twitch of his leg shot a sliver of pain throughout that area of his body. The involuntary actions of his body caused enough pain to wake him up from his sleep. Nowaki's sudden wish to place him in a bath and dab on healing creams, didn't hurry the healing process.

He couldn't handle Nowaki forcing himself on him again.

The idea wrecked his body into extreme shivers and cold sweats.

Playing a meek and agreeable person might sway Nowaki into giving him a longer period of rest. Nowaki's mood turned positive when he reciprocated. His decent acting extended his rest, sharing a few kisses was better than having a behemoth thrusting into him.

Trying to distance dream Nowaki from the Nowaki in front of him, Hiroki breathed through his nose.

"Time to take you into the living room." Nowaki declared, his smile strained on the sides of his mouth, making the otherwise sincere smile, a fake one. "We'll have breakfast on the couch and watch some variety shows." Without asking, he pulled off the blanket which covered Hiroki. He chuckled at the state of  _his_  robe on Hiroki. Huge and loose around that slim frame. He reached out his hands and untied the knot, wanting to fix up the rumples mess.

Hiroki uttered out. " _Why_?"

Nowaki paused in shuffling Hiroki's robe in a suitable fashion. "Ah...I have the day off today. It feels lonely having to watch TV without someone beside me." Hooking an arm underneath Hiroki's legs and supporting his back, he carried Hiroki off of the bed. "Don't you want to watch TV?" He left himself out of the equation to gather Hiroki's reaction.

Wanting a new environment to observe, Hiroki tried to nod, but he failed in moving his muscles the right way. Instead, he voiced his agreement. "Yes."

"Excellent!" Nowaki exclaimed in excitement.

Taking him through the bedroom door, Hiroki drank in the images of the new surroundings. Arms slack on his sides, he noticed a lack of decor throughout the rooms they passed on their way to the living room. One room in particular caught his attention, which he guessed was Nowaki's room, because of the lack of emptiness. Despite his farsightedness, he recognized the doctor's coat laid on the bed. Nowaki's room. A flicker of curiosity sparked inside of his chest since he saw obscure items, scattered throughout the floor.

Turning the corner, Hiroki saw an old box style TV, way different from the flat screens a majority of people kept in their homes. It was even set on top of a glass cabinet, which held a DVD player, VCR, and a cable provider box. Nowaki held him in one arm while picking up a remote from the table in front of the couch. One arm. Hiroki guessed that his weight made him easier to carry.

Then again, Nowaki caused his current state of being. 

Nowaki sat down onto the couch, positioning Hiroki onto his lap. He held Hiroki from behind, breathing down his neck, on hand around Hiroki's belly. Tightening his grip around him, to stop Hiroki from slipping onto the floor, he pushed the on button on the remote.

"What do you want to watch? I know there are some movies playing right now. We might have to search for them though."

Hiroki asked him. "What...what time is it?"

Nowaki frowned. He didn't like it when Hiroki tried  _avoiding_  his questions. "Hiro-san, what do you want to  _watch_?"

Hiroki heard a warning tinge to Nowaki's tone. A flashback of his dream stopped him from making a scathing remark. His body stiffened without his consent. "A comedy."

Nowaki's mood rose up as he nuzzled his cheek against Hiroki's tense face. "Okay! I can look for a good one. You can tell me which one interests you. If there isn't many movies, we can always watch a variety game show. Those are pretty funny."

Hiroki looked at the screen, the words blurred from his tiredness and his horrible vision. "Can't see."

"Oops! I forgot you need glasses." Nowaki worried his lower lip. He didn't remember seeing Hiroki's glasses in his bag of papers when he first found him. Just picking any old glasses wouldn't work either. The wrong ones caused headaches or even worse results. "Not to worry, I can pick the movie for us. This way you don't have to strain your eyes from squinting to see the words."

* * *

"You're looking happier today, Kusama-san." The nurse on staff commented at seeing Nowaki's beaming smile. "Good news?"

Nowaki sighed in bliss, trilled at Hiroki's willingness to spend time with him. "I'm just making progress with my beloved. There were some problems recently, but we worked past them. I hate it when we have problems."

"Ah, so you are in a relationship with someone? That's good to know." She giggled, hiding her smile with her left hand, showing off her worn out wedding band. "You're breaking a lot of hearts on staff. A lot of ladies have put on a poll on who will capture your heart, but it looks like they have to cancel their plans."

Nowaki hid his  _disgust_  on their interest well enough that he still retained the refreshed type of man. He heard the gossip from the male staff who clapped his back, impressed at his ability to capture the attention of women without trying. Sure, his features brought them in, but his polite dismissive attitude, made it clear of his lack of interest. Plenty of women still continued on their quest in getting his attention, assuming his denial was a hard to get ploy or he didn't  _see_  their  _potential_. Their desperate insistence did nothing more than stir his  _ire_.

Smiling light, he gave out a light laugh. "No, no, I've been with my lover for  _years_. No one had a chance in swaying my attention away from my beloved. I'm too faithful of a man to do so."

The nurse nodded her head, impressed at his values. "That's the way it should be. No cheating and remaining faithful to your love." She smiled down at her ring. "I remembered when my husband proposed to me, happiest day of my life." She peered up at him. "How long have you been with her?"

Nowaki played along, using the pronoun,  _her_ , he informed his co-worker. "Well, we've been together for six years. I should have proposed to her a few years back, but I wanted to complete my doctorate before I proposed. It's a bit selfish on my part to have her wait, then again, she was working on her teaching credentials when we first met. She didn't seem interested in marriage right away."

"A teacher! That's such a rewarding career. I have plenty of family who teach elementary school kids and they love it so much. Which area is she trying to specialize in? Has she started working with students?"

"Well, you see, she's already teaching students."

"Oh?"

"Yes, she teaches college students." Nowaki hunched his shoulders, smiling in a sheepish way. "She's four years older than me. Twenty-eight. She graduated way before me and I wanted nothing more than to show that I can provide a good life for her. I changed my major and found a love in medicine. I always loved children, so this change into pediatrics was a perfect fit. I still haven't met her parents yet, I'm hoping it's soon."

Surprised at the older age of Nowaki's girlfriend, she said. "I didn't know you were into older women, Kusama-san." Processing the rest of Nowaki's words, her eyes softened at the earnest way Nowaki spoke about his girlfriend. "I see. Well, I'm sure that she sees how hard you have worked for  _yourself_ , Kusama-san. I know you said that you did all this work to prove yourself to her, but going through sleepless nights of studying came from your effort."

"You misunderstand, I went through those nights for her to see that I worked just as hard as her." Nowaki insisted. "I didn't want her to see me as someone who didn't work to accomplish their word. I promised that I would make her proud. She was my tutor before we got together after all."

She gasped. "Oh excuse me, I didn't mean to assume the situation. What did she say when she heard you entered medical school?"

Nowaki blinked. "Ah...she was impressed that I managed to get into medical school, but she didn't react as high as I hoped. Still, she was thrilled that I got into such a hard major and kept up my grades."

In fact, Hiroki seemed surprised at his accomplishment. They broke contact for years, maybe he thought he abandoned his goals for whatever reason. Hiroki didn't have the awed expression as most people did when they heard of his profession. Older men and women offered their daughters, eyes gleaming at the chance of having a doctor in the family. Hiroki grew up in a lavish home, surrounded with people in high positions of power.

He didn't want Hiroki to lay his eyes onto someone else.

Now, Hiroki's life consisted of the four walls of their cabin. He could take care of him with the knowledge that Hiroki remained in one spot. Never again to wander into the public eye again.

Complacent and weak.

After years of loneliness, he  _deserved_  happiness.

"That's good. A lot of parents would be thrilled to have their daughter marry a doctor. She snagged you before you even entered to programs!" She checked the clock and let out a sigh. "I should get going. My break is almost finished and I'd rather not have someone call for me. Good luck on your girlfriend, Kusama-san."

* * *

Laying in the living room, Hiroki watched a movie with enough action and silly sentences where he let himself daydream. Focusing on the small plant on the windowsill, he tuned out the explosions and screams coming from the TV. The movie provided no intellectual stimulation for him. In his current mood, an action movie did nothing more than annoy him.

Before Nowaki left for the market, Nowaki left this movie on the screen as he settled him in the living room. Settling pillows on his back, tucking him under a blanket, Nowaki's eyes twinkled in satisfaction. Nowaki left him on the couch as a reward for his  _good behavior._

Hiroki found an untapped fountain of patience when dealing with Nowaki. A better word to describe his complacency was  _survival_. Plain survival. He felt nothing for Nowaki. Any sense of sympathy about Nowaki's past struggles withered into  _nothing_.

Nowaki snatched him away from his life, keeping him in a prison, away from everything and anyone that he interacted with.

Hearing the somewhat decent score of the movie, Hiroki's focus landed on the action scene playing on the screen. The effects weren't bad for the time period, he mused. He whispered comments about the horrible acting and ridiculous results from the actions of the characters.

The movie ended in a horrible cliffhanger.

Waste of time.

The credits rolled on the screen and Hiroki saw his face on the black areas without text. He looked  _retched_.  _Worn out_.  _Tired_.

A vast difference from what he remembered the last time he looked in a mirror.

He remembered Nowaki muttering about his looks as he thrust into him. Either Nowaki played stupid or thought complimenting him would stir his vanity. He believed  _nothing_  that came out of Nowaki's mouth.

In an act of impulsiveness and desperation, Hiroki made a decision in trying to escape.

A decision which bit him in the ass a short time after he acted. 

 

Hiroki jerked to the side, falling  _hard_  onto the hard wooden floor. His side  _ached_  from the impact. Swearing under his breath, he checked on the time on the old VCR Nowaki kept inside of the cabinet under the TV. A blinking time of 12:00 made him scream in frustration. Without the proper time, he couldn't calculate when Nowaki returned back from his errand. He didn't know what time Nowaki left the cabin.

His sudden plan to crawl to one of the doors, failed before it even began. He chose the wrong moment in his health to do such a thing. His body didn't obey him one bit. His arms and legs became heavy.

He cursed himself for his  _stupidity_.

Shivering, Hiroki kept himself still, trying to preserve his body heat. Teeth chattering, he closed his eyes, a family movie played in the background. His heart  _yearned_  for the safety of his parents. At that moment, his powerlessness brought out the child inside of him. He wished for his father's embrace and his mother's soothing words.

Behind him, from the sound of the music and the dialogue, the movie reached its climax. He listened to the passionate speech of the father. The character declared his anguish at failing to protecting his wife and not wanting it to happen to his children.

In the end, the father and his children survived, a somewhat happy ending to  _their_  story.

* * *

From what seemed like hours, three locks clicked, and the front door opened. Nowaki's gleeful voice trailed throughout the cabin, echoing in the rooms which lacking furniture. "I'm back!" He went through the hallway, straight into the kitchen. He heard the TV playing in the living room, providing an extra set of voices in their cabin.

"Hiro-san, I managed to snag some oranges for you to eat." Nowaki set the bags onto the counter and began putting this groceries away in their proper places. "How was the movie? Was it good? I know another one played after it. I don't think I watched it before, maybe we can discuss it?" Hearing no response to his questions, Nowaki's jaw snapped closed.

Turning around, he stalked into the living room, ready to confront Hiroki for ignoring him. Maneuvering around the couch, he didn't see Hiroki on the couch, but on the floor, body shivering without control.

Any irritation left him in an _instant_.

"Hiro-san!" Nowaki clamored to his side, crouching down, he collected him in his arms. "What happened? How long have you been on the floor?"

Face flushed, Hiroki whispered out. "I don't know."

Setting Hiroki on the couch, Nowaki touched his forehead with the back of his hand. He touched his own to provide a comparison. "Oh my goodness, you have a fever!" He ran off into the kitchen, opening the cabinets he rambled. "I shouldn't have left you all alone in the living room! Look at what happened to you. Good thing you missed the table, you might have hurt yourself even more." He gathered a pan full of lukewarm water, towels, different medicines, and returned into the living room. Setting them down onto the coffee table, he left again to pick up some blankets from his room.

Nowaki's anger didn't resurface while he worked on reducing Hiroki's fever. Throughout the afternoon, Hiroki's fever spiked a dangerous line, a preventable part of illness which Hiroki didn't experience much in his adult life. Hiroki took real care of himself.

Hiroki's weakness caused this sickness to permeate throughout his body. The idea of Hiroki dying on him, terrified Nowaki into planning health rich foods to bring up Hiroki's strength back. He'd rather fight Hiroki, he doubted it since Hiroki kissed him back, than to have him die from a simple cold. Hiroki's body couldn't fight anything because of his lack of health.

Bashing himself for letting Hiroki get to this state, he sat on the floor, his face resting on the side of the couch. He watched Hiroki's chest as he breathed, hearing for any congestion in his chest. Hyper alert for any changes in Hiroki's state throughout that afternoon and during the night.

**To be continued...**


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> If you'd like to buy me a coffee through using Ko-Fi, to help fuel me to update even more, you can find the link on my tumblr: [Lucicelo](https://lucicelo.tumblr.com)
> 
> -Lucicelo

Using a stylist, Akihiko ran a line through the name of the town. Having gone through the main road of the town, he went through the forest areas, caring little for the dirt getting on his t-shirt and jeans. Disposable clothes he bought before leaving the city. Going years without wearing a buttoned up shirt, he saw the benefit of going casual for these searches. The scuffles and rips on his usual clothes made him cringe. Echoes of Mama Fuyumi, Hiroki, and Takahiro, commenting about him throwing away money, passed through his mind.

Takahiro thanked the students who answered their questions about Hiroki before he bowed. They did the same and apologized for not giving any more information. The news of Hiroki's disappearance spread throughout Japan, something that the Kamijou family's lawyer made sure to accomplish. Whoever took Hiroki couldn't have escaped Japan.

Agreeing to go inside of a convenience store, Akihiko passed through the high caffeinated section of the drinks and picked a few. Takahiro tagged along at his side, grabbing a small snack to munch on.

Leaving the small market, Akihiko handed the warm coffee can to Takahiro while he popped his espresso can open. Wandering through the main street, Akihiko and Takahiro sipped their drinks, exchanging topics of conversation. Their attention split between the conversation and looking around for any sign of their friend, they entered a dirt road.

Finding no results of his solo, well, duo search, dampened Akihiko's mood. Not enough to stop him from looking for Hiroki, but it seemed that whoever snatched Hiroki, hid his tracks  _too_  well. Somehow, this person managed to keep himself from CCTV cameras and from the view of different people. No one knew about Hiroki's state of health before he disappeared.

Was Hiroki hurt?

Did someone drug him before taking him?

Were threats used against Hiroki to force his compliance?

Akihiko down the last of his espresso and popped a new one open. Once he finished this one, he lit up a cigarette. Having smoked more packs during this search than his usual deadlines, the nicotine provided a sense of comfort in place of strong alcohol. Not any better, but he stopped himself from grabbing whiskey when he went inside a bar.

Silence drifted between Akihiko and Takahiro as they stared at the scenery during their break.

"Takahiro?"

Takahiro gulped down the rest of his coffee to perk himself up. He cringed at the last bit of bitter coffee at the bottom of the can. "Yes, Aki-chan?"

Akihiko dropped his cigarette on the floor and snuffed it out with his shoe. Peering from the corner of his eyes, he informed Takahiro. "Thank you for coming along with me. I can't thank you enough for doing this."

Takahiro pushed up his glasses with the back of his hand. "It's better for you to have support than to go searching on your own. Besides, Hiro-chan needs us to keep on looking for him. He'd do the same for us."

"Yeah." Akihiko gripped his arm to stop himself from grabbing another cigarette. The temptation nagged at him from his pocket, luring him into desiring to light another stick up. "He's too stubborn to quit on any of us. Although, I'm annoyed there wasn't  _any_ sign of him."

Takahiro sighed. "I know, it's  _frustrating_ , but no one wants to enter in another person's business. I'm surprised anyone wants to answer our questions in the first place. We're not police officers."

" _Still_ ," Akihiko breathed through his nose. "This is someone who is in trouble. I get it, someone might get hurt, but  _whoever_  took Hiroki will get _my hands_  put on them." He deciphered Takahiro's stunned expression from his peripheral. "You two are my  _oldest_  and  _cherished_  friends. I can't imagine  _not_  having you two in my life."

Takahiro laid a hand on Akihiko's back, rubbing small circles in a repeating motion. "I feel the same way. Now, Hiro-chan wouldn't want us to mope around doing nothing."

Akihiko snorted. "The jerk would kick us around and say we were useless." He made one last inspection of the scenery and sighed. "Let's get going. We're wasting sunlight."

* * *

In his never ending fever haze, Hiroki woke up to humming and a damp towel on his forehead.

His mother  _always_  tended to him whenever he fell ill. As her only child, she went overboard in showering him with attention and love. Her own heart condition made her concerned over his health and made it a priority to make sure he remained well. The attention amplified when he fell ill and he complained not one bit. He loved having his mother check up on him, feed him soup, and watch tv with him once he recovered enough to watch a whole program.

Considering his father worked long hours, Hiroki didn't feel any less love from him. Before going to work, his father checked up on him, patting down his sweaty bangs to the side before kissing his forehead. Upon returning from work, a box of cinnamon flavored sweets were placed on the table beside his bed.

Assuming the tender touches came from a dream, he lost himself in his delusion. Maybe, he did escape from Nowaki's clutches. Somehow, he ran off before he passed out on the floor, but he doubted his self imagined convoluted scenario. Realistically, someone found him and took him to a safe place.

Any time he tried opening his eyes, his vision blurred, swirling the wood walls into a mesh up of mud, stirring a sense of nausea in the pit of his stomach. Instead, he kept his eyes closed. Better to look at darkness than to fight the urge to purge all over himself.

His right arm itched and ached. A bite sized area  _irritated_  him enough to want to waste his energy in relieving the pain. Scratching the spot sounded amazing to him. His left arm didn't obey him, staying limp on his chest, useless. He grimaced, growing impatient, he moved his right arm, breath hitching at the jolt of a needle digging under his skin.

Someone put an I.V back into his right arm.

Opening his eyes a smidgen, he saw an I.V bag, held up by a metal stand on his right, filled to the brim with liquid. His horrible vision couldn't read any of the words written on the bag. He closed his eyes to stop the wave of nausea hitting him all at once.

Letting out a whimper, he tried moving into a better position. His legs stiffened from the manner he laid on the bed. His muscles ached when he attempted to move. Almost as if someone read his mind, a strong pair of hands maneuvered his body around, setting him into a more comfortable position.

He relished in the comforting brush of lips upon his cheek.

Having spent an extended amount of time without a loving,  _wanted_  kiss, he relaxed onto the sheets. Years passed since he last contemplated a relationship or even wanting to fuck someone. The thought of sex  _revolted_  him. The procession into this conclusion angered him more than anything. He enjoyed having sex with someone he found interest in before Nowaki ripped the desire out of him.

Falling back in love with Akihiko appealed to him. Oh, how he wanted to go back to those innocent days. He imagined scenarios where he simply  _kissed_  Akihiko, sex didn't come to mind as far as he remembered. Although, he loved the camaraderie he developed with his oldest friend without romance in the equation.

They shared an unconditional love, one that he didn't want to ruin over a  _what if_  daydream.

Coughing out, Hiroki felt his throat dry and raspy. He tried gulping, but his mouth produced no saliva. The medicine seemed to have dried out his mouth from containing any moisture.

His illusion of peace shattered when he heard Nowaki's perky voice near his ear. "I'll bring you some water to drink. Be right back."

Hiroki kept his eyes closed to conceal his furious tears.

He  _despised_  Nowaki Kusama.

* * *

Searching throughout his medicines, Nowaki grimaced at the sound of Hiroki's hurtful coughing. Without the television playing as background noise, he heard each hitch of Hiroki's breath and never ending coughing, echoing throughout the cabin. During Hiroki's sleep, he gave him an exam and noticed various reasons for Hiroki to die on his watch. He panicked for the first day, looking through the medicine cabinet, finding solutions to counteract each obstacle.

At first, he put an I.V drip back in Hiroki's right arm and began pumping in different medicines to boost up Hiroki's immune system. Preparing a soup base, he fed Hiroki through small spoonfuls and rubbing his neck to make him swallow. He towel bathed Hiroki to get rid of the excess moisture from the fever and to alleviate some of the discomfort. Anything for a sign of recovery.

As he took care of him, he almost lost Hiroki from the complications of his imposed malnutrition and sickness. Throughout the whole process, Hiroki went in and out of unconsciousness, muttering words of giving himself to death. Nowaki sobbed one afternoon when Hiroki's fever persisted and rose higher that day. He blamed and hated himself for letting Hiroki fall to this extreme. Going through the hard work of attaining his doctorate didn't help him endure the numerous grueling nights of taking care of Hiroki.

Watching his beloved suffer  _broke_  his heart into  _pieces_.

His happiness  _almost_  slipped through his fingers.

 _Almost_.

 _Too close_.

Filling a glass full of water, he carried the concoction of medicines and water toward Hiroki's room. Noticing that Hiroki went back to sleep, he set down the medicine and cup on the nightstand. He sat down on the chair he carried in front the kitchen, keeping his eyes on any change in Hiroki's diagnosis.

* * *

Hiroki's first proper thought outside of his fever dreams, came when Nowaki lowered him down into a soapy bathtub. He hissed at the first contact of his ass touching the water. His body tensed in expectation of the pain and unconscious jerk of his legs closing together. The tears of his hole healed enough where he didn't almost scream in utter pain. A second later, he grew accustomed to the warm, soapy water relaxing his muscles.

Nowaki murmured something, Hiroki tuned him out, not caring about his words, before leaving the room. His retreating footsteps prompted Hiroki a chance to relax in the water. He lolled his head to the side, feeling his damp hair clinging to his skin, he inhaled the scent of the bubbles.

Nowaki got it wrong  _again_.

He  _hated_  lavender.

In fact, anything Nowaki did or said irritated him.

Nowaki used the worst scents of soap and shampoo. He ended up smelling flowery and his sheets soaked up the wetness that clung to his skin. His captor lingered in drying him off, but his distraction in touching him left  _numerous_  wet spots on his body. Even Nowaki's slimy kisses lingered on his neck and shoulders, where his lack of movement kept him from wiping the mess off of himself.

Nowaki didn't kiss him on the lips.

Lifting his head up from his position, Hiroki moved his arm to remove a hair from his shoulder. His hair grew long enough where he began shedding from lack of food and water. Stray hairs managed to stick around unfortunate places. Resting his arm over his abdomen, he kept his line of sight on the knob of the tub. Processing the last few seconds, he stiffened on his sudden easy movement of his arm.

Checking on the entry wound of the I.V, without the needle, he saw no intense marring of his skin. Unlike his left arm, which still had yellow spots of bruising from lack of care, his right arm seemed normal. He didn't know how long he stayed ill, but it seemed Nowaki gave him something which regained his strength. With the continual lack of food and drugs, his body couldn't have recovered on its own.

Curling and unclenching his hands, he found hidden strength underneath his skin. His muscles stretched without repercussions or strain.

For the first time in weeks, maybe in months, he smiled.

A  _true_ ,  _genuine_  smile.

* * *

Once Hiroki began speaking in coherent sentences, Nowaki cried in glee. He showered Hiroki with deep kisses, using his hands to caress his beloved's body. In his passion, he failed to notice the stiffening of Hiroki's whole body and the twitching of a grimace forming on his handsome face. Getting up from bed, he carried Hiroki in his arms toward the kitchen area. He thought to feed Hiroki a heartier breakfast. A small helping of grilled fish, pickled vegetables, and unflavored rice.

He helped Hiroki to the table, setting him up in a chair with arm rests so he didn't fall on the side. Hiroki still slipped down, his lack of muscle strength didn't keep him in a sitting position for long. Nowaki let out a sigh before positioning Hiroki back in the right way, trying to keep him from moving onto one side. Hiroki still moved due to gravity pulling him toward the floor.

Seeing no point in fixing up Hiroki, he left him at the table. He went into the kitchen, cooking the breakfast he thought of during Hiroki's sickness. A simple meal to break the lack of meals he didn't give him.

Hiroki's stomach growled from the smell of grilled fish filtering into the small dining room area. From his position, he saw Nowaki maneuvering around the kitchen. Nowaki's knowledge in the kitchen showed in how he moved toward different areas, unafraid of messing up. Considering Nowaki lived on his own after being let out the system, it didn't surprise Hiroki that Nowaki learned to survive on his own.

If the situation were different, he might have found some indulgence in having Nowaki cook for him.

In this case, he didn't trust anything cooked by Nowaki's hands.

Nothing.

Still, it smelled so delicious.

After a sequence of clattering plates, Nowaki juggled plates in his arms and walked into the dining room. Setting them on the table, he retreated to get his own potion of food. Hiroki salivated at the food. Gulping in the allure of having a proper meal after such a long time. When Nowaki returned, Hiroki avoided looking at the food or showed any indication of having glanced at it.

Nowaki pouted. "Hiro-san, aren't you hungry?"

Hiroki looked at Nowaki from the corner of his eyes.

"Oh, well, I'll feed you small pieces to start with." Nowaki scooted the chair beside Hiroki out and sat down. "I didn't add any seasoning to the fish. Your stomach might not respond well to seasoned food."

Hiroki clenched his jaw shut. Back when Nowaki tried feeding him, he threw up all over him. How did Nowaki forget about that detail? A doctor shouldn't have thought of such a ridiculous idea in the first place.

"Open wide." Nowaki cooed as he picked up a small amount of rice with his chopsticks.

Hiroki swallowed his nervousness as he uttered out. "N-No."

"No?" Nowaki frowned. "Hiro-san, you have to eat  _something_. C'mon, now." He placed the rice in front of Hiroki's closed mouth. "You need to regain your strength. You went through a whole week in a fever."

Hiroki flinched when he saw Nowaki's lips morph into a marring grimace. A flashback of his nightmares flashed before his eyes. Loosening his jaw, he opened his mouth, more than enough for Nowaki to shove the chopsticks in. Nowaki pulled them out and Hiroki chewed the rice. Hiroki's sanity and nose appreciated the sudden change in food, but his stomach revolted when Nowaki fed him. His heart appreciated eating  _actual_  food. No gruel. No pieces of fruit.  _Real cooked food_.

Once he bit into a bite of pickled radish, he heaved up his breakfast onto the floor. His body wracked in uncontrollable shivers and the sour taste of vomit coated his tongue.

Nowaki ran out of the room, finding a bucket to fill with soapy water, old rags, and a trash bag. He picked up enough of the vomit with his own hands, Hiroki wrinkled his nose at the sight, and dumped the mess into a trash bag. He cleaned up his hands with the soapy water, wringing out a rag before wiping down the floor.

The experience ruined Hiroki's whole morning as Nowaki cleaned up the mess, trying to smile in good nature while he assured him with kind words. Kind words that didn't persuade Hiroki to calm down. He kept on breathing deep, eyes widened in the fear of the repercussions upon a switch of Nowaki's mood.

Nowaki apologized. "This is embarrassing. As a doctor, I should know better than to feed you solids this soon. I'll put you on vitamins and an extended saline drip to bring you back to health. I'll have to check with a nutritionist in what to begin feeding you. I have a friend at the hospital who handled a case of this young woman that went on this extreme diet-"

Hiroki bit his tongue to shut off any unsavory words from slipping through his mouth. His harsh breathing applied pressure on his tongue making him cringe from the pressure.

"Anyway, it's selfish of me to keep you subdued in this way. I'm not always here. What if something worse happens to you?" Nowaki tossed the rags into the bucket, he wiped his hands on his slacks.

Hiroki concluded in keeping up the facade of weakness. Better to have Nowaki think that he didn't recover any of his old strength back in his limbs. This way, his recovery would come at a steady rate. Nowaki seemed eager to soothe him back to health and forgot about the fact that  _he_  caused his dilemma.

When Nowaki made his way toward him, a pitter patter of pings began playing, stopping Nowaki in his tracks. Nowaki bolted out of the room, going down the hallway toward his room.

Hiroki's heart raced when he identified the noise: the ringtone of a cellphone.

**_To be continued..._ **


End file.
